Forgiving Bessie

5. Ravenspond

Since Bessie’s tragic accident, she has been home-schooled. Not in her own home but strangely, in Jason’s, by his mother. Jane Wallet, a former teacher, had realized that by helping Bessie learn to live again, she would be healing herself from their mutual loss. It was a decision neither would regret. Somehow, they have found a way to support and grow stronger together. Her student is in grade eleven and thriving in her studies.

Normally, Bessie would ride her bike to Jason’s farm but for now, her father drives her, since she is accompanied by a bundle of a week-old kitten and his “foster canine mother” Miss Marple, along with Bessie’s schoolbooks.

As they drift down the country road, Art turns his head to look fondly at his daughter. “Next spring, we’re going to teach you to drive, young lady. And find you an old beater to tool around in. Not too beaten up, mind you, but one that fits my wallet.”

Bessie looks over at him, her eyes misting. A scar in the shape of a bird is visible above her left eyebrow. “Dad, I don’t know if I want to learn to drive. The thing is—”

“The thing is you’re scared because of what happened. But if you let fear control you, you’ll never try anything. The fear will take over and you’ll live your entire life in a tiny box all alone.”

“Will you bring me food and water when I’m living in the box?” Her eyes twinkle.

“Nope. You’ll starve to death and dissolve into ashes, and I’ll sweep you up and toss you in the garden for fertilizer.”

“Harsh.” She giggles, looking out the window at the autumn scenery. The town has given way to farmlands. Almost all the leaves have fallen, and there’s a light dusting of snow on the ground.

To the left, a grand old farmhouse boasts fresh paint. A woman waves from the front porch, two small children clinging to her legs.

“Maureen sure loves that old B&B, doesn’t she?” Art says, waving back. “Well, of course she does. Used to belong to her John’s aunt and uncle. Your grandparents’ place way back when.”

“Grandma Millie and Grandpa Will are living there again in their new lives as Silver and Paddy.”

“You sure have some crazy ideas since you came out of that coma, I must say,” Art remarks, looking sideways at his sixteen-year-old daughter. “Reincarnation, past lives … You know, you just dreamed all that stuff, don’t ya?”

Instead of answering him, Bessie changes the subject. “Wonder if we’ll hear anything more about Leif.”

Art frowns. The young Danish youth in question had been in charge of the renovation of the old bed and breakfast that Maureen and John Dodd live in with their toddler twins. He and Bessie had become friendly in the past year. And then shockingly, he had been deported and sent back to Denmark to face murder charges in the arson deaths of his parents. Art sincerely wishes Bessie had never laid eyes on the carpenter student, whose odd name is pronounced “Life.” He notices she still wears the tiny wildflower pendant Leif had given his daughter for her birthday last June. God save us! She doesn’t need more pain!

God save us!She doesn’t need more pain!“Here we are.” Art pulls into the long farmhouse driveway. Sam, an old sheepdog ambles towards the car, wagging his tail, familiar with the visitors. Miss Marple hops out first to share canine nose and butt sniffs. Bessie carefully climbs down, her backpack of books slung over her shoulder while her arms cradle the kitten snug in a wool scarf. Art follows with the dog bed and a bag of kitten paraphernalia.

A tall, rangy woman greets them at the door. “Sure is chilly for October,” she says cheerfully. “We’ll put the kitten and her nanny in Jason’s bedroom. Follow me.”

The mention of the late Jason will forever create shimmers of agony for Bessie.

His mother looks at her with concern. “You okay?” She puts her hand on the girl’s shoulder. She knows firsthand that the pain softens, but it never disappears. You just grow stronger in order to bear the load.

Soon, they are in her late older son’s bedroom that looks very much as he left it that fateful July. Photos of him and Bessie sit on his desk. Framed World War 2 planes dot the walls. Jane sets the dog bed on the small rug. Bessie gently puts the kitten down, wrapping him in the scarf. “He just had a feed,” she explains. “So, he’s good for another couple of hours.”

“We’ll keep the door closed,” Jane advises. “Keep out the other critters. Except for Miss Marple, of course.”

Art looks around the room of a once solemn and hardworking seventeen-year-old youth, his whole life ahead of him, a future he had planned to share with his childhood love, Bessie. Gone in the blink of an eye.

“Ethan often sleeps in here,” Jane says, breaking the awkward silence. “He says he feels close to his brother. I know the feeling.” She walks briskly to the door. “Well, time to get onto those lessons, right, Bessie?”

After Art’s departure, Jane and her student sit at the kitchen table where they have worked together for over a year. Jane pours them both a cup of tea. “Any news from Denmark?”

Bessie knows Jane is referring to her friend of last spring and summer, Leif Holm, who was hauled off in handcuffs by Detective Eric Pederssen, the same policeman who had searched so relentlessly when Bessie, Ash, and Jason had gone missing in the summer of 1972. “No, not a word.” She looks up from her book. “I know he didn’t do it.”

Jane sets down the teapot with a couple of mugs. “And I trust your instincts.”

“I wish my parents did,” Bessie grumbles, adding milk and honey generously.

“They’re just trying to protect you,” Jane reminds her, “after all you’ve suffered.”

“And all you’ve suffered. And your family’s suffered, thanks to me.” Bessie’s tears are never far away.

you’ve“Pain is part of life.” Jane sits down, drinking her tea. She waits until she has her full attention. “There is no getting away from it. Remember this, Bessie. Pain and loss are what we learn from. You can’t have joy without the other.” Jane glances over the rim of her cup. “Happiness is a gift, but what we learn from is pain.”

learn