The devils that want me

Packing out

Friday afternoon, the day after Jennie attended the board hearing for the charge of "physical assault", Jennie stood removing her clothes from the closest, eyes watering from disappointment and anger. She was angry with herself for being unable to control her anger when Thelma told her she misplaced her class project notebook. That had not been the first day Jennie and her roommate had argued, although it's the first time they had ever physically clashed.

Jennie had been known for being a very quiet and observant young lady, but after her twentieth birthday, her life had not been the same. She now has minimal control over her emotions.

Jennie's dad must not get to know that his daughter is being punished by having to move out of her room because she assaulted her room mate. Even Jennie can't tell what might happen after her dad gets to know.

Jennie's head got occupied with a lot of questions. "Why is her life changing so drastically?" "Why I'm I behaving so unthoughtful and uncontrollably". Jennie thought to herself maybe she'd drop out of school if everything and every suituation gets out of hand.

She was being irrational.

There was a knock at the door, and before Jennie could respond, the door opened.

"What's up"

It was Tina, lively as usual. Tina was Jennie's roommate the year she was a freshman and currently best of friends

Jennie forced a smile "Nothin' much"

"Heard you beat up your roommate," Her best friend teased her, laughing and closing the door behind her

"Finally !" Tina's large gold loop earrings moved as she threw up her hands playfully, causing the smell of her perfume to drift in Jennie's direction with the motion.

Jennie chuckled. "Girl, you are crazy"

"But you gotta tell me everything,"

Jennie wrinkled her forehead. " It ain't nothin' to tell"

"What are you doing?" Tina asked suddenly, noticing the piles of clothes on her friend's bed.

"Packing."

"Packing?" Tina asked in surprised, her dark brown forehead creasing in confusion. "Why?"

"Because the Conduct Board asked me to pack my things and move out" Jennie answered avoiding the gaze of her friend

"What? They're making you move?"

Jennie nodded sighing.

"Girl, you betta fight that."

Jennie forced a laughter. "Of course not. I was alleged for physical assault. Who on earth would listen to a villain when she appeals?"

"Physical assault?" Tina asked in disbelief, taken aback by the extremity of the charge. "You serious?"

Jennie nodded, she felt a urge to tell her friend what actually happened, instead of keeping her friend ignorant about what she was alleged for.

"Ok fine. Tina you see.." Jennie said as she finally built her confidence. "For real, I did assault Thelma. I didn't know what happened, but I knew I was really fierce and I injured Thelma."

Jennie said covering her face in shame at the same time feeling bittered. She continued "I borrowed Thelma my class project notebook because she told me she needed it to complete her own research and stuffs like that. Few days after, I asked Thelma for my class project notebook. She told me she couldn't find the notebook. Funny enough she was holding hers in her hand at that moment and Tina you know how important that class project notebook is." Jennie paused and stole a glance at Tina's face.

Tina was staring at Jennie all along, she was paying attention to her.

"When I heard that she couldn't find my notebook, anger piled up in me and all I knew was that I punch her and hit her head on the wall. Sincerely Tina, I don't understand what's happening to me. I wish I can explain further" Jennie concluded and broke down in tears.

They were silent for a few seconds.

Tina looked at Jennie agape - her mouth hanging open. Just then, she drew closer to Jennie and hugged her between her arms. She hugged Jennie so tightly that her perfume scent brewed up through Jennie's nostrils.

Jennie who has been sobbing, calmed down. The scent of Tina's perfumed seemed to have great effect in calming her.

"It's alright Jennie, no matter what happens I will stand right there with you." Tina said and shoved Jennie away from her arms and held her at her shoulders. Tina and Jennie now staring at each other. Jennie continued,

"Just because of what happened between you and Thelma does not mean you have to paint yourself as a villain or something. Everyone does bad things sometimes. Even Tina does bad things too" Tina said and both friends burst into a steam of laughter for couple of minutes

"I'm glad you are laughing now" Tina said as she saw the happiness expressed on Jennie's face.

"Yeah thanks Tina. I love you" Jennie responded and retired to Tina's arms again.

"Alright then, but when do you have to move?"

"By Monday" Jennie replied

"By Monday ! That's crazy."

"I know right," Jennie muttered.

Tina felt really bad for Jennie.

"Fine, I was heading to go pick some things then I decided to come see you before going to where I planned going. I will help you pack. But now I have to leave." Tina said and landed a slight peck on Jennie's left cheek

"Yeah!"

Tina started to open the door and turned to her friend unconsciously tossing the thick synthetic braids that hung just below her shoulders

"Take care dear." Tina said with a wave of her hand.

Jennie smiled and nodded, at that moment she noticed Tina's large sweatshirt and blue jeans, a casual outfit that somehow looked exceptionally good on her

"I'm sure I will" Jennie answered

"Anyways. I'll be seein' ya!"

"Bye"

"Bye!"

The door shut, and the room suddenly grew still. Jennie sat down on the edge of her bed and lowered her head. A moment later she began crying again. Crying was something Jennie found herself doing a lot lately. Though, Tina had comforted her but she couldn't help but to cry. She felt as if everything was coming down on her at once.

She doubted if she could take anymore. Physical assault isn't a mere case, it's a serious allegation that has tainted her reputation in the school. The reputation she had always built, how could she ever get to do her internship in the hospital she dreams of? Her internship is in weeks time and Jennie is very sure that the case of physical assault will be written on her student's report. Her student's report is one of the documents she has to present to any organization she is planning to do her internship at.

Jennie stood up from the bed and positioned herself in front of the mirror. Her eyes grazed her reflection in the mirror. For some seconds, she barely recognized the young woman who stared back at her. The once meticulous sculpted mascara now created dark, ominous shadows around her eyes, making her appear almost ghostly in the glass.

Her almond brown eyes were usually bright, almost jovial, but they now sat behind the shadowy gloom, hidden and distant, their kindness concealed by the stress that had greeted them.

Unexpectedly, her reflection blurred, and before she could stop them, the tears fell, sliding slowly, then quickening, down her cheek. She was crying again.

Ashamed, Jennie covered her face with her hands and let herself sob, her shoulders shaking with each cry, at that moment wishing she could have acted more responsible, if not for anything, but for the sake of her internship.