The water beneath our feet

Saba1

From the moment I entered the Tritos Palace, I was welcomed with a reception I had never expected. My return to life had been necessary so that Almiris could be brought back from the world of the dead. It was an opportunity that could hardly ever come again.

I had returned to life once more.

To a land I did not know, to a mysterious world I had never known. I was surrounded by people I had never met and creatures I had never seen. Under normal circumstances, being among strangers like that should have made me feel like an outsider. Yet, strangely, I never felt that way. I quickly became comfortable with the members of the palace.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have somehow always been destined for palaces. Although there was a small difference this time—I was not a queen today—no one had denied me the warm and comfortable life of the palace.

Every now and then, Tanzan and I meet. I don't know whether I feel sorry for him or whether I am falling in love with him, but whenever I see him, I feel happy.

With winter arriving, I stood beside the window of my room and watched the rain falling outside. Since my window faced toward the palace gardens, whenever I looked out, I could see birds and butterflies fluttering around the garden.

Oh! It is difficult to describe the happiness I feel when I see them. I love them so much.

I gazed intently at the flowers soaked by the rain. I could see reddish, four-cornered flowers, pale round flowers, and flowers of many different colors.

The rain ran down the glass in thin streams, partially obscuring my view, but I couldn't stop staring at the garden. I must have leaned too close to the window, because my own breath fogged the glass.

For a moment, I thought I saw Henok inside the mist. I pulled up my sleeve and wiped the glass.

But there was nothing there.

Occasionally, lightning flashed across the sky, followed by distant thunder. The glass I had wiped with my sleeve had taken on the shape of a human head.

I leaned toward the window and traced lines through the fog, drawing the full shape of a person.

Because of the cold, I pulled the blanket I had draped around myself tighter and opened the window. Almost immediately, the freezing air rushed through the opening.

Trying to protect myself from the cold with the thick clothes I was wearing, I peered outside.

The wind had begun to sway the flowers and trees in the garden.

I looked at the ground. The rain had formed small streams, washing over the earth as it flowed.

On the muddy ground, I thought I saw footprints.

Indeed, they were footprints.

A trail of footprints stretched from my window all the way to the mango tree. But beyond the tree, I could no longer see them.

I searched for the footprints with my eyes, but I couldn't find them.

It was as if the person had simply disappeared the moment he reached the mango tree.

The situation amazed me on one hand. On the other hand, I felt as though I was giving too much importance to something insignificant.

Slowly, I began stepping away from the window.

Suddenly, someone knocked on my bedroom door.

I closed the window I had opened and walked toward the door.

It was a palace servant who had knocked. She was carrying a hot cup of atmit in her hand.

"Tanzan told me to give this to you," she said, handing me the atmit.

As soon as the servant left, I locked my bedroom door. I stared greedily at the atmit that had been sent to me.

Tanzan is such a careless man.

Perhaps losing his wife and his position of power on the same day had driven him into depression.

I know that many of the men in the palace would like to become close to me. Most of the time, because they see me with Tanzan, they don't dare approach me. But I can read the hidden feelings in their eyes.

With Tanzan, however, I couldn't see that kind of hidden desire.

He didn't seem to care about anything—not only about me, but about anything at all.

Nothing seemed to worry him. Nothing seemed to make him happy.

Even when there was a party, he wouldn't come. And if he did come, I would find him sitting alone, looking bored and miserable.

Seeing him alone made me sad.

"Run to him. Hug him. Comfort him," something inside me would tell me.

Sometimes I became confused.

Was I falling in love with him, or did I simply feel sorry for him?

And today, Tanzan sending me atmit because he had thought of me was strange.

It meant that, little by little, he was beginning to realize that I was the only person who kept hovering around him.

Perhaps he had even started thinking about me.

Maybe he dreamed about me.

Oh, no. Surely not even that.

I don't think he dreams about anything at all, let alone me.

He eats, drinks, and sleeps.

For him, yesterday is already dead. Today brings nothing new. And tomorrow will simply continue the same way.

His spirit is dead.

He has lost the courage to do anything.

He has accepted his defeat as though there were nothing left to fight for.

He doesn't want to struggle anymore.

He has lost the reason to live.

If Menkir had known that bringing Almiris back from the world of the dead would kill Tanzan's spirit like this, would he have brought Almiris back?

I don't think so.

He wouldn't kill one brother just to save the other.

One day, I heard Menkir and Almiris arguing with Tanzan.

"Wait. What has happened to you? Aren't you going to tell us what is wrong?" Menkir asked Tanzan.

"Did we do something to upset you?" Almiris asked.

Tanzan simply shook his head, telling them that they hadn't done anything to upset him.

"Then what happened to you? Is my return from the world of the dead what is bothering you?" Almiris asked.

Tanzan lowered his head without answering.

"Then speak! What is stopping you from talking?" Almiris said, finally losing his patience.

"Enough. Leave me alone. Just consider me dead," Tanzan said in a hopeless voice.

"How can you tell us to leave you alone? Don't we have a right to care about your life?" Menkir shouted.

"If losing your position is what has made you this way, we can work together and help you get it back," Almiris said.

"Why would I want the position I willingly gave up?" Tanzan replied, making it clear that he didn't want his power back.

"If losing your lover is what has made you this depressed, why don't we talk to you about it?" Menkir asked.

"What exactly are you suggesting?" I heard Tanzan ask.

"Henok doesn't have any shortage of women. He's handsome, so every woman who sees him falls for him. We can persuade him to leave Oksi for you," Menkir said.

"I don't want her," Tanzan replied.

"Then what do you want?" Menkir asked, clearly becoming tired of the conversation.

"Nothing," Tanzan answered.

At that point, the two brothers became angry and left him alone.

Days passed.

But nothing changed.

Tanzan chose loneliness.

Whenever people began approaching him, he started avoiding them.

I was the only person he didn't run away from.

Whenever I saw him, he made me so sad that I could barely control my emotions.

My dear Tanzan, let me be honest with you.

Is it really only me who feels sorry for you?

I don't think so.

I noticed that everyone was trying to understand him and sincerely doing whatever he asked of them.

How, then, had this boy managed to touch everyone's hearts so easily?

That's simply the kind of person he is.

He is lovable.

He is someone who makes people want to love him.

Without realizing it, I gradually began admitting to myself that I loved him.

Even King Solomon had never made me surrender to love. He had only impressed me with his wisdom.

It seemed this was the first time I was actually falling in love with a man.

I already told you that King Solomon doesn't count.

He only deceived me with his cleverness. I didn't willingly choose him or spend the night with him.

I took a sip of the atmit and pulled a chair toward me, sitting directly in front of the window.

The atmit was extremely hot, and it burned my lips.

I began staring outside through the window.

The rain had started to weaken.

I took another sip of my atmit.

This time, I noticed something moving past the window, as if someone had just walked by.

I raised my head, but there was nothing there.

Immediately, a powerful wind began to blow.

The wind shook the branches of the trees, scattering the water that had collected on them as it swept through the garden.

I enjoyed watching the wind grow stronger, so I moved away from the window, climbed onto my bed, curled myself up, and lay down.

After finishing my atmit, I placed the cup on the floor and buried myself completely beneath the blanket.

The wind grew stronger. It began tearing dry leaves from the trees and blowing them against the window.

Gradually, rain mixed with powerful gusts of wind began falling. It pounded against the window so violently that it seemed as though the glass might shatter.

I closed my eyes while lying beneath the blanket.

The wind and the storm seemed to be working together to break the window.

I held my breath and waited to see what would happen.

Then I heard footsteps approaching my bed.

My hands immediately began trembling with fear.

My breathing became short and uneven.

I opened my eyes and stared at the blanket.

A dark shadow appeared as someone seemed to approach the bed.

Somehow, I gathered my courage and pulled the blanket aside.

To my surprise, there was nothing there.

Then I heard footsteps moving quickly away from the bed.

I looked toward the sound.

A grasshopper was running toward the door.

I looked back at the window.

The glass was covered with rain.

I thought I saw the shape of a person reflected in the window.

I walked toward it and looked outside.

There stood Henok in the rain.

His hair and even his clothes were completely soaked.

His head was lowered, so he hadn't seen me.

Raindrops clinging to his hair fell one after another, running down and washing over his face.

Amazed, I opened the window and was about to call out to him.

But he disappeared as if he had never been standing there in the first place.

I would feel better if I told myself that I had simply imagined it.

But what if he had never been there at all?

Perhaps it was an illusion created by my imagination.

Perhaps I hadn't actually seen Henok.

Maybe Henok hadn't even come anywhere near this place.

I closed the window and returned to my bed.

At that moment, I wished Tanzan were beside me so that I could hold him in my arms and sleep.

But what is so appealing about a depressed man anyway?

And yet, I fell in love with Tanzan precisely because he was depressed.

His silence and calmness captivated me.

Even when he speaks, he does so slowly.

His loneliness somehow makes me want to feel sorry for him.

I don't know.

Whenever I'm beside him, I want to help him forget his loneliness.

But sometimes I ask myself whether I stay with him for his sake or for my own.

Whatever the case, I have fallen in love with Tanzan.

But what about him?

He doesn't seem to have gotten over his love for Oksi.

Day after day, when I see him sitting alone and lost in thought, I feel as though he is thinking about Oksi.

And thinking about that makes me jealous.

Who is she that he cannot forget her?

Who is she that has buried herself so deeply in Tanzan's heart?

Who does she think she is?

Sometimes I feel like going to her and strangling her.

The rain outside seemed to have stopped.

After becoming tired of tossing and turning restlessly beneath the blanket, I got up again and stood.

I wrapped the blanket around myself and looked out through the window I loved so much.

Suddenly, I felt as though something was behind me.

I turned around.

And there was Henok.

I immediately couldn't hide the shock on my face.

But he simply smiled at me.

I quickly glanced toward the closed door.

It was still closed.

Then how had he gotten inside?

"How did you g... get..." I began.

Before I could finish, he placed a finger against his lips.

"Shhhhh," he whispered.

I could feel my lips trembling.

Should I say I was afraid of him?

He tilted his head and moved closer to my lips.

I don't know why, but I stood frozen and remained silent.

When he came as close as he could to kissing me, I suddenly seemed to wake from a trance and slapped him.

He rubbed the cheek I had slapped and laughed.

Then, before I could understand what was happening, a cloud appeared above us inside the room.

To my astonishment, it began raining inside the room.

Henok simply looked at me with a smile as all of this happened.

What kind of person could make it rain inside a house?

And what kind of person could enter a locked room without causing any damage?

Even the wise Solomon didn't possess such magic.

As you already know about me, matters of wisdom have never really been my thing.

I love wisdom, and I love wise men.

But I have fallen in love with Tanzan with all my heart.

I don't want to replace him with anyone or anything.

Henok continued smiling at me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and embraced me.

The moment he held my waist, I felt as though we were floating in the air.

When I looked down, I realized that my feet were no longer touching the floor.

Frightened, I grabbed Henok's arm tightly.

He smiled, looked down at me, and, still holding my waist, opened the window.

Together, we went outside.

It was cold outside, so I moved closer to Henok and held him.

But my heart was thinking about Tanzan, and I felt a pang of regret.

Even so, I was excited to see Henok's magic.

As we floated through the air outside, flowers began falling from the sky.

The flowers rained down upon us, but the moment they touched the ground, they disappeared.

It must have been another one of Henok's miracles.

The rain and clouds vanished, and the morning sun appeared.

The morning sun appearing before its proper time made me wonder whether I was hallucinating.

We rose higher into the air and began flying farther away from the palace.

As we moved farther from the palace, I became worried.

Who knew what Henok might do to me?

Perhaps he had even planned to take me away from Tanzan.

Poor Tanzan—how much more could he possibly endure?

As for me, let whatever wants to come to me come.

But I will never betray Tanzan.

If Tanzan ever accidentally told me, "I love you," I feel as though I would spend the rest of my life devoted to him.

But I don't think he will ever say it.

Still, I will tell him that I love him.

I imagine the day when I confess my love to him as something extraordinary.

Even thinking about that day fills me with happiness.

I can already feel myself bursting with joy.

When we reached a tree, Henok brought us down to the ground.

Under the tree, a clear spring of water bubbled from the earth.

As soon as we landed, I turned around and looked at my surroundings.

In the distance, a quiet, dense forest surrounded us.

The place where we had landed was a grassy meadow, with a single tree standing alone at its edge.

As soon as I escaped from Henok's embrace, I ran toward the tree.

The clear spring flowing from beneath the tree ran downward and eventually joined a river nearby.

The birds that had been startled by my running took flight from beside the river.

When I arrived, they had been bathing themselves.

First, one of them flew away.

Then the second one looked around the area, apparently noticed me, and flew away after the first.

I liked the place where I found myself, so I walked down toward the river.

In truth, it wasn't even large enough to be called a river.

It would be more accurate to call it a small stream.

The trees growing around it cast a pleasant shade that made the soul feel peaceful.