Counting Blessing

Chapter 4

Living like a single lady

“Ah… so there you are.” Jenna found her book stuck in between her bed and the bedside table. She picked it up and left it on the table, next to a family picture in a silver frame, taken in Vietnam.

          Jenna considered herself a lucky girl when it comes to travelling. She had visited twenty four countries so far. Jenna’s parents were both lecturers. Her mother met her father while studying abroad in England. Both are now in their early fifties and still love travelling. Being avid travellers, they would settle in a place for two or three years and then moved, and moved, and moved. Leaving their children at boarding school was the only choice they had since the children needed a more systematic education essential.

So Jenna and her brother, Ethan, basically grew up in boarding schools, in India, Poland, and then in Australia. But the cool thing about having moving parents is that not only they get to spend their holidays in different countries, they also get to visit places nearby. For instance, they have basically visited every state in Australia, from Adelaide to Perth. They even travelled to New Zealand, which is like 7 hour flight from Perth to Auckland.

Ethan was four years younger than Jenna. The two used to be very close when they were young. Then Ethan surreptitiously wafted out of her life. She couldn’t understand why at first, but she guessed it had something to do with his friends. Ethan had been socializing with a g**g of youngsters whom were known as troubled teens. That was something that troubled Jenna. Her sense of foreboding tells her that if he keeps on mingling with those friends, he might get himself into trouble one day.

Ethan now lives in Stoneleigh, which is somewhere down south, about five kilometers from her place. He was working in an accounting firm. That was all Jenna knew about him. Sometimes, out of blue, Jenna would receive his texts to let her know where he was and what he was up to, but never much about his personal life. But Jenna always receives a text from him on her birthday. Her brother never failed to wish her happy birthday every year.

           So for Jenna, no family, no boyfriend. Friends were either married friends, or boozy friends. Jenna couldn’t fit in to either group. Being lonely was something she had to adapt to in order to survive. Loneliness wasn’t something she was afraid of, she often tells herself. She thought she was getting used to it already.

           She thought.

           Jenna curled up onto her bed, her favourite spot, and was going to do what she always does to kill time - watch a movie. With a laptop on her mini foldable anti-slip bed table, and a cup of hot chocolate was just perfect necessity for a movie.

           The phone rang just as the movie was about to start. It was mom, the Queen of Hearts.

           “Hello mom,” Jenna answered the call.

           “Hello Jenna dear. How are you doing?” Mom sounded a little frizzy and distant.

           “I’m fine, mom. How are you and dad?”

           “Oh we are fine. It’s hot here, hot, hot, hot! I just can’t stop sweating. It’s nice to sweat but not all the time especially when I have just put on my makeup. It’s so b****y hot outside. Once you step out of the house, your sweat just pour down like a river. I am just terrified to go out for a walk. Can’t live without air conditioner and a car here,” Mom’s voice got louder and softer at times.

“Well, it’s the opposite here. I can live without air conditioner and a car. I walk to work every day. By the way, which place on earth are you and dad now?” From what mom said, they must be in some hot, exotic country.

“That’s why I call to tell you. No, wait. I’ve told you, haven’t I? We are still in Brunei. It’s a very small country just next to Malaysia. We’ve visited the palace of the Sultan of Brunei. It was amazing. I even shook hand with the Queen, can you believe it? The Queen of Brunei! Then we get to visit Malaysia, well, a part of east Malaysia. It takes only an hour drive to reach the place called umm…. Miri! It’s a small district in east Malaysia, with tons of nice food and we haven’t even finished trying. We might go there again maybe next weekend, it’s only about an hour drive,” mom said in a breath.

“That sounds fun. I wish I could be there too, for the food.”

“You should honey. Let me tell you, I absolutely cannot forget the food that I’ve tried. So is your dad. He was the one who suggested that we go there again, for more food, haha!”

“You know dad, he can never say no to Asian cuisine. I hope he still watches his weight, he was like almost 200 pounds last time.”

“He lost quite a few pounds now. He jogs with me every morning, and I’ve purged all snacks and sweets and processed food at home. He’s doing quite well, living a healthy lifestyle right now. I’ll send you a picture of…wait, is that a man’s voice I’m hearing? Is that your boyfriend? Goodness! Sorry I didn’t know. Am I interrupting you?” Mom was half shrilling.

           “Please mom, it’s just a movie. I’m watching a movie. That voice comes from a man in the movie,” Jenna replied as she slouched against the headboard.

           “Poor thing. So you are still all alone? No boyfriend? You are turning thirty soon. I have gone through two pregnancies and have two kids already when I was your age.”

           “Mom,” Jenna groaned. “I’m doing fine all alone. I can live without men. Besides, I’m going to be thirty in two year time. Two long years!”

           “Uh uh. I used to say that before I met your father. You know, many people say that just to make themselves feel better. It’s an unconscious conduct…”

           Jenna had a sense that her mother was going to go through an hour of lecture again, it is an occupational disease. She had to change the subject. “Right, so mom, are you guys coming to England by any chance?”

           “Ah yes, I think so. Your dad and I would probably be back in England after Christmas.”

           That familiar smart of sheer disappointment emerged again. “So you won’t be spending Christmas with us?”

           “I’m sorry, I’m afraid so. Our contracts finish end of this year so we have no choice. See honey, that’s why you should find a guy, not hiding behind Edna’s flowers. Your aunt Edna is smart, she ran off living with her boyfriend and leaving you behind those flowers…”

           There she goes again, the disease is getting worse. Mom seriously needs proper treatment. Like giving her a son-in-law, perhaps. “I love those flowers mom. There is nothing wrong with the flowers. In fact, I love working here. This place is peaceful, you can say nearly anxiety-free compared to the bigger cities.”

           “I know working in flower shop is good. You get to meet customers everyday… young and old, hopefully single men….”

           Suddenly, Jenna had an impish idea. A roguish grin appeared on her face. 

           “Mom, it has been more than a decade but do you still remember that you gave me and Ethan twenty bucks each?”

           Mom paused for seconds, seemed to be searching from her memories. “Why do you ask that?”

           “Nothing, just suddenly appeared in my mind. You know, one of those memories of those days in Canary Island. Dad still doesn’t know about it, does he?”

           “Uhhh… I don’t think so. Listen, honey I need to get going, you know, lots of things to prepare for tomorrow’s lecture and the line isn’t very good. Talk to you again. Love you, take care.”

           “You too. Bye!”

           Jenna put down the phone and laughed to herself. After all these years, mom is still worried about dad finds out about her clubbing secret. Although Jenna wished she could talk longer with her mom, but whenever mom started the boyfriend issue, she just had to find ways to end the conversation. Gently, she adjusted herself for a comfortable position on the bed to continue the movie that Katie and the girls were craving about - particularly the leading actor with sexy chiselled jawline.

Big C wins again

He sat alone in a small grotty rented room. The walls looked like they are going to collapse anytime. The rug was filthy, probably has been there for a decade or two. Creaky wardrobe, rusty door knob, detached socket, broken hooks, noisy neighbours… living in a dilapidated building with more than a hundred people, had been a nightmare. The guys lived next to him were drunk almost every night, making awful din that woke him up from his sleep.

They woke him up again tonight, it was thirty to midnight. The two were having a row over some money problem. He was incandescent at his neighbours, but more to himself for being insolvent. He hated this kind of life. He took out something from his drawer, and stared at the pack in his hands. It was a plain soft, white, powdery content in a sealed plastic.

No… I shouldn’t… he thought to himself, and threw the pack into the bin. That small pack costs him almost fifty pounds. He sat on his bed, couldn’t keep his eyes off the bin.

           “Take me, take me,” it lured. “Only a quarter won’t hurt…”

           His heart thumped anxiously against his chest, his hands started to shiver. He knew that he was about to make a sinful choice. The temptation was strong, and he was too weak to resist it – he had to give in. Slowly he pulled out his drawer, took out a small piece of paper, and picked up the pack which was supposed to be left in the bin. He did his routine. He felt wonderful. He felt he made the right wrong choice. But he also knew very well that after some time, he will bury his head in his hands again, crying out to himself, overwhelming with self-reproach and guilt. The big C has won again.

Like always.