The Emancipation of Shania

Collision Course

When Caleb and I met in my final year at college, I was newly broken up with my first boyfriend Liam, the boy I had lost my heart and virginity to 3 years prior. Liam! It had been a while since I allowed myself to think about him. He was supposed to be my happily ever after, but that dream had shattered abruptly one day. Five years later I still haven’t made peace with that. My mind travels back in time

8 years ago: Liam

Shania’s POV

“Look…just look once Shan. Is that a slice of perfection or what?” my relatively new best friend Riley whisper-screeches. I raise my head, un-enthusiastically, and look in the general direction of her gaze. We’re seated 3 rows down from the back of our lecture hall. The object of her fascination is with his group of loud, hard-not-to-notice band of bad boys.

I had met Riley on the first day at college, and she was also my roommate. Since our first meeting, I have had to listen to her constantly raving about the bundle of testosterone called Adam Park. Currently, Riley’s crush is standing in a an almost circular formation with a few of his football buddies, all equally manly and intimidating. What the hell do those guys eat? I wonder. I shrug, losing interest, then glance back down at my notes.

“Shania Collins, are you lesbian?” Riley hisses a bit too loudly. A few people in the rows in front of us turn and look at us. I make eye contact for a split second with a stunning goth girl as I slowly raise my eyes, then my head, putting on a seductive gaze and smile as I turn toward Riley.

 “Now that you know…” I pause and lick my lips, place my hand gently over hers, and continue…"Then you should also know I only have eyes for you”.

She rolls her eyes, showing me she knows I’m full of s**t. “f**k off, you’re not my type. Your boobs are too big” She turns forward and continues ogling the football players, sighing. I follow her gaze with the intention of shrugging and showing my disinterest again, just to irk her, One of Adam’s friends just happens to be looking in my direction at that time, and our eyes connect. I feel an unfamiliar, uncomfortable tingle throughout my body, and heat rushes to my cheeks. Hope he doesn’t think I’m ogling, I think to myself.

We are nearing the end of our first semester in college. Still, besides Riley and a handful of other friends we had made, I don’t know the names of most of the students in our group. I am probably the only straight female in the college who doesn’t know the names of the beloved football hunks. I just couldn’t care less. But I do care that one of those narcissistic fools would mistakenly assume I had any interest in them. I keep my gaze firmly on my notes.

Once the class is over, leaving the auditorium is not a quick task, even though we are seated close to the exit at the back. Thanks to Riley, who sits firmly in her seat and applies lip gloss, hoping to attract the attention of the exotic Mr Park.

Finally, the hunk squad is passing our row and Riley springs into action. I mean literally, she jumps out of her seat and steps out into the aisle. She flashes a dazzling smile at Adam, who is leading his team from the auditorium, then turns sultrily, throwing her generous red mane behind her, and walks off coolly. I shake my head in mock annoyance. I’m so focused on keeping up with Riley, happy to finally be able to leave the auditorium. I don’t notice how close the rest of the team are to my position. They’re being rowdy, talking, teasing and shoving each other as they head for the exit, but I am not interested enough to look. I should have paid attention.

The next few seconds play out in almost slow motion. Unfortunately, not slow enough to change course. The player I had made eye contact with earlier is walking up the steps, almost backward, as he banters with his team. The guy closest to him shoves him by his chest. He stumbles and starts to spin around to balance. He raises his right arm, bent at the elbow, as he pivots.  At the exact instant I step into the aisle, and his elbow connects with my nose, in an upward strike. I feel like bolts of lightning are whipping at the front of my face as my nasal cartilage fractures. My head ricochets off his iron-like arm, making my neck angle back unnaturally, finally tipping my balance. I start to fall backward, anticipating that my ass will soon impact with the step behind me, making it three strikes with one blow….

I hear someone scream “What the f**k?” but it sounds distant and drawn out, like a movie in slow motion. I raise one palm to my bloody nose and reach behind me with the other to cushion my tail bone from the concrete. “Shania!” I hear someone’s panicked scream, at the same instant I feel a rock-hard arm behind me, steadying me. Then everything goes blank.

I a breathing hard. Blood pours down my cheek from the gash on my forehead. I am in my closet, hiding. Hiding from the bad man who had caused the wound to my head. “Come out here, you fat little tramp”, I hear his footsteps closer to the closet and I know he has found me out. He is going to hurt me again. I cower, shivering violently.

”Shania, where are you, my little b***h?”  I swallow in fear, knowing I won’t be able to handle more after the beating my young body had already taken.

“Shania….” he calls out in a singsong, fake-gentle voice. He is right at the door of the closet, and the knob turns. I scream.

 “Shania…”. He calls again and I keep screaming. I raise my arms to protect my face…

“Shania….” I hear deep, concern in the oddly comforting voice. Strange, I think to myself. Daddy’s voice is usually menacing, not comforting…

I open my eyes and peer through my raised arms, as I become re-orientated to my surroundings. I am not 7-year old, overweight Shania, hiding in the closet anymore. I am overweight, clumsy, college girl Shania, who just got decked in the face by the hot football stud. The same stud who is now cradling me in his arms against his bloody (my blood) jacket, holding an ice pack to my face.

His eyebrows wrinkled with worry and he is looking at me intensely, with feral-like green eyes.  He has the longest lashes I have ever seen on a guy. Thick and black, and presently moist from…tears? I notice to my utter shock.

“Shania, Thank God you’re awake” his voice cracked. “I’m sorry. So very sorry” he continued. I barely hear him. My hazy brain is busy rewinding to the part where he called my name. What? Hot stud footballer knows my name?

Riley’s voice breaks into my reverie. “Shania, you ok?” For the first time ever Riley calls me Shania, not Shan.

Even in pain, and barely conscious, I can’t resist. I look straight at her and muster up a confused look. “wh…who are you? Where am I?”

Riley’s eyes widen in fear and she lets out a breath which sounds like a sob.  The hunk cradling me hisses, and his body tenses. He looks utterly devastated.

“What the f**k, dude? You broke my nose?” Just like that, my amnesia act is busted. Riley swoops down and punches me daintily on my shoulder.

“f**k! Riley, my neck!”

“You scared me, you little shit.” She turns to the confused hunk and lets out a flurry of words on a single breath. “Liam, we have to get her to the infirmary. Or to the hospital. Did anyone call 911? Shan, can you stand? Are you hurt anywhere else? God where were you looking! Look at all this blood. I won’t eat for a week now….” She is silenced, suddenly, in the most shockingly pleasant way. Adam Park pulls her into his arms and kisses her soundly. Well, hot damn!

I groan, happy for my friend. But considering I am sporting a now grossly deformed face, and blood is still trickling over my lips and chin, it doesn’t surprise me that everyone assumes I groaned in pain.

Liam….ah yes, I know hot football player guy’s name is Liam.. stands up lifting me in his arms. I almost shriek in shock. “Put me down!” I command before his spine snaps from my weight.

Liam, Riley, and Adam lead me to the infirmary. I notice Adam and Riley are holding hands. Go Riley! Liam has one hand around my shoulder, and the other across his chest, to my face, still holding the ice pack. I take a few seconds to ponder the storm raging low in my belly, and the warm tingle running through my spine, and the goose-bumps on my arms. I huddle closer into Liam’s side. He will assume I’m swaying dizzily from my injury. Let him. I deserve these few moments. He tightens his grip around my shoulder