20
Katherine
Once Monster leaves and I am alone again, I immediately start berating myself for being so weak and stupid as to have slept with him. When he looked at me for that moment of confirmation… when I nodded…
When I came so hard that practically gushed all over his c**k, I gave him my permission.
And that little bit of permission was my only damned bargaining chip. Now I am defenseless against him, worse than useless.
Tears well up in my eyes as I think about what I have done. Worse, I’ve devalued myself.
I feel… defiled. Used. Broken.
Torn apart, in a way that I can never get back.
I get dressed very slowly, blaming myself. Blaming Monster, for being exactly what his name says that he is. Crying over a loss that I can’t explain.
Not the loss of my virginity, because that i
