When I Stopped Loving You

Chapter two

“Conquest, you say?” His hand sliding up and down my legs that were wrapped around his torso.

“If you were really one of my conquests … you would know” he leaned in, his eyes still melting my soul as he placed a soft kiss in between my breasts.

He pushed back immediately, leaving me to the beating sound of my heart while I laid there staring at the ceiling and my mind still trying to comprehend how one man could have so much effect on me… even as I am trying to get angry at him.

“I'm going to let this go… but,just this time” he wore his shirt back in the most sexiest way ... .Jacob wasn't just an alpha.. he was a god.

“Don't you ever raise your voice to be again sweet checks…you know I like you better when you are quiet” he blew a kiss my way, reaching for his boots.

I couldn't just keep quiet today, I had to let him know i wasnt comfortable with this hide and seek game we have been playing. ‘Jacob, this has to stop…. If you are going to keep hiding me like a dirty old secret, then we need to stop this or at least take a break” i didnt want to, but i needed to get a reaction out of him.. And if he doesn't want to lose me he will do what he needs to.

I stood up from the bed, wrapping myself with the blanket once more… I couldn't even think of wearing my night gown,as it was ripped apart all thanks to the sexy god in my bedroom.

“A break?Is that what you really want? Can you really go a night without me touching you… uhhn sweet cheeks” he had that smirk on his face that always turned the bolts in my head.

“Ok… look, try to understand,I am doing this for us…do you really want people to gossip.. If i present you to the pack like this they won't approve” he said, the words hitting me like a hammer; sharp and poisoned.

He tried to reach out for me, but I flinched and pulled away as if he had struck me.

“You don’t mean that,” it seemed as though the room became foggy afterwards,as though I was breathing through cotton. My heart and mind were against each other, my mind kept on replaying his words over and over like evidence laid out on a courtroom table. But my heart…. my heart took on the role of a desperate lawyer,fighting to defend him before the verdict could be passed.

It’s not what you think Sarh, my heart whispered. He’s trying to protect you, he loves you. I clung to those excuses the way a drowning person clings to driftwood.

Jacob stood there with his arms crossed, his Alpha presence filling the room even though he wasn't shouting.. Even though he was calm. But that calmness was dangerous, it always was. It made everything he said and sounded reasonable and justified no matter what the other person thought or felt.

“You know how these people are,” he continued, pacing around me slowly. “ they talk, judge.. Gossip and always look for a way to pounce on the defenseless. I can't have them tear you into pieces because.. Because of how things look right now”

How things look. Not how things are?He doesn't know he is just making things much worse. I swallowed hard, my fingers curling into the fabric beneath me. My mind finally caught up, he wasn’t concerned, he wasn't trying to protect me… he was only scared, scared of claiming me, of being associated with me… and somehow that hurt more than if he had simply said he didn't want me.

“I don't need protection,” I said quietly. My voice surprised me. It didn’t shake. “I’ve lived in this pack my whole life. I know how they are” He stopped pacing and looked at me, his eyes digging into my soul. His eyes softened immediately, just like they always did when I started slipping out of the space he wanted me in… that softness was another weapon.

He stepped closer, lowering his voice.

“Sarah” he said gently, “ you’re missing the point. I’m thinking ahead. I’m thinking about our future.”

Our future? The words wrapped around me, warm and familiar. My heart jumped at them like a loyal dog responding to its name. This was his hold on me, he dangled us in front of me whenever I got too close to the truth.

“You just need to be a little bit patient with me … it's just a matter of time love.. A little while longer” he cupped my face with his hands.

A little while longer has turned into six nights and no mornings. Six months of being claimed in the dark and erased by daylight. I opened my mouth with the intention of saying just that, but the look on his face changed before I could.

“Why are you making this difficult?” he asked, not angry, but tired. As though I was the problem he had to manage.

The thought crept back in, maybe I was pushing too hard, maybe I was asking for too much. Maybe this was my fault.

“I’m not..” I started, then stopped. The words tangled in my throat. He tilted his head slightly, watching me struggle, waiting. That silence was intentional. It always was. It gave my thoughts room to turn inward, to twist.

“I just thought…” I tried again, softer now. “I thought maybe..”

He sighed, cutting me off, and that was it. That sound alone carried judgment. He brushed his thumb against my cheek, slow and deliberate, grounding me in his touch.

“I know,” he said. “You’re sensitive. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just… you need to learn when to stop overthinking.”

Overthinking…. That was it, what he thought about me. Lord, what have I done to myself?

I felt myself shrinking, folding inward, my earlier clarity slipping through my fingers. I hated how easily he could do this…how he could turn my pain into a flaw I needed to correct.

“I’m sorry,” the words left my mouth before I could stop them.

His shoulders relaxed instantly.

“There,” he said softly, satisfied. “That’s better.”

Better for him.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead, lingering just long enough to remind me of everything I still wanted from him. My chest tightened. My heart ached.

“Good girl,” he murmured.

The words sank into me like chains… an anchor.

He pulled away and started reaching for his jacket, already moving on, already done. “I have to leave now,” he said casually. “There’s a lot to prepare for today.”

Today… something about the way he said it made my stomach twist. He walked towards the door without looking back, confident that I would stay the way he left me. Confused,apologetic and.. waiting.

But as his hand closed around the doorknob, something inside me shifted. It wasn’t loud, It wasn't dramatic…. But it was enough for the fog to thin… and for the first time i wondered.. What would happen if I didn't apologize next time?

A part of me didn't want a next time while the other part wanted him to stay. The door opened and before he could step out, I spoke.

“Jacob…” he froze in his steps but didn't turn around.. And in that moment, with my heart pounding and my mind finally awake, I realized whatever I was about to say would change everything.