Rivals for Luna's Mate

Chapter 7: Insane

Some people only want power in this world.

It makes them weak and hurts their chances of living a good life. I had seen it with my own eyes. All the girls who pushed me out of the way to sleep with Xavier didn't know what they were getting themselves into. They were clueless about what power was.

I was surprised that he liked me, and I've said that before. It was weird.

I didn't know what love was before I met Axel. I didn't have any parents, siblings, or other relatives. Well, until I got here, I hadn't had any. Both giving and getting trust were hard for me.

I liked it here. I was as close as I could get to being free. I felt the sun on my face for the first time in over seven years when I wasn't tied to a bedpost or being pulled by Xavier.

He was a bad man with a lot of anger. He was the only guy I had ever dated. All it took was Axel to show me that what he was doing was wrong. The rest of the world didn't work that way. He was the only one.

I did love him for a while, but in a weird way. Xavier told me over and over that I was all he had left. He had no family and no mate—

We were perfect for each other.

All he ever told me was crap like this, and he did it for as long as I could remember. Since I was 17, I had a romantic relationship with Xavier. It wasn't so bad at first. Being with the alpha gave you power, which was what everyone wanted. I got what everyone wanted without doing anything. Xavier picked me.

I weighed somewhere around 120 pounds. I was about five feet and two inches tall. Most of my life, I lived in a house with a group of girls, kind of like a sorority. As we grew up, a nurse would come every three days to check on us. Most of the time, there were no adults around to watch. I didn't think this was strange because I didn't know any better.

No one felt like family.

So I thought I was lucky when Xavier chose me. Really, this sorority I joined when I was young was just like that. There was hazing and bullying, and there were rules about how to dress and what to do. If I had written down what I did, maybe people would have believed me.

But nobody did.

Those girls were wild and mean.

As I got older, I realized that some of these girls weren't part of the group. Some were stolen, some were turned down, and some thieves were caught. Of course, I thought, where do I fit in all of this? I couldn't have been taken away, right?

Xavier was nice at first, but as I got older, he became more aggressive. He'd shown me who he really was and asked me to forgive him. Soon after, he stopped feeling bad about what had happened and stopped caring.

It started to seem normal.

All of them wanted this kind of power, but it didn't come for free. I quickly got the idea that I didn't want it.

I sat on the dock of the lake on Axel's property, where a few boats were bobbing up and down. I'd never been so near a boat before. I didn't like the water very much.

I've never swam. I had no idea how that felt.

They dumped their bodies in the lake on Xavier's property. Girl deaths, drug busts, and hits on bad guys.

They added weight to their bodies, which made them sink to the bottom. Because that lake was so big, there must be a couple of hundred dead bodies in it by now. When they thought there might be too many, they began to burn them. I learned to know the smell of burning flesh when I was so young.

I thought I'd end up in the lake one day. It would be like getting out of prison. Even if they had to die.

I was wearing Shavi's white sundress. This morning I got out of bed feeling great. My feet moved around in the water, which made the plants next to me move. It was nice to get a sunburn, and the wind felt great in my hair.

It was nice to feel something other than pain.

A few nights before Axel killed my pack, Xavier and I had dinner together after he got back from meeting with the Weevuna. didn't know who they were or what they were talking about. I wasn't interested.

There was food on every part of the table.

I was very hungry.

Xavier had been gone for a long time, and while he was gone, I wasn't allowed to eat. I could hear my stomach growling, and the pain was almost too much to bear.

I could still smell the fresh wines even though they were gone.

I wanted the sliced turkey, the vegetables, and the warm rolls on the table. Everything made me feel sick, but I was so hungry.

I was the only person in the dining room.

His dogs were tied to the corner of the room's railing. No one in his pack could be found. If I stole a small piece of bread, it would be enough to keep me going until he got home.

I moved my hand forward slowly as I listened for movement and watched the dogs' tails to see if they could tell when someone was coming.

I closed my eyes as I chewed the fresh bread to enjoy the taste. Even though I had just eaten the first bite, my stomach asked for more. It was so soft and good that it was like eating a cloud.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a strong hand that grabbed my hair and pulled me to the floor. I fell down because I had no muscles to hold me up. I tried to get up off the floor with my hands until Xavier grabbed me by the throat with one hand.

"I thought I had taught you," His voice sounded like a hiss, and my body shook against his. He smiled and c****d his head to the side to look at my scared face, which I knew by then he loved. Wait until I start eating before you do. This is my home,"

"Yes-Sir. I'm sorry." I couldn't get the words out because he had such a tight hold on my throat. It was a dumb thing to do.

"No, you're not." He stopped and said, "But you will be," Xavier set me free, and I fell to my knees. I used up all of my strength. I saw him make himself a plate, and then he flipped the table, causing the rest of the food to fall to the floor.

All of these things were within reach of the dogs.

"I want you to be in my bedroom in twenty minutes. And perhaps I'll make you breakfast in the morning," Xavier snarled.

I was very upset. Xavier loved putting people down, and that was what he did best. He made me feel like I wasn't worth anything. I didn't want just that for myself. I had tense muscles and bones because I was worried about remembering.

Xavier still made a difference even when he wasn't there.

I moved my feet back and forth in the water, making small waves. It was so peaceful and quiet. Xavier probably wanted it because he thought this was what I was missing out on. It was nice to have.

A few small bubbles rose to the surface. When I was a kid, the boys used to tell me that the souls of the dead still lingered in the water and that the bodies that the warriors threw away knew when human flesh was nearby. As payback for what had happened to them, they would drag innocent people to the bottom of the lake and drown them.

I thought those were just stories told around a campfire.

They got bigger and closer together. Now, the stories didn't seem so made up, or maybe I just believed the old stories too much. My nerves told me to get off my feet, which I did.

Suddenly…

Someone's hands wrapped around my ankles and pulled me off the dock. I could feel the wood scratching and splintering the back of my thighs. I dove into the water, and around me, cold bubbles rushed to the surface. I could barely take a full breath, and my lungs were already hurting for support.

Before I fell in, my half-scream ended in silence.

I scratched my way up, and bubbles came out of my mouth. I yelled and kicked and did everything I could to get away. Still, I felt like I was sinking deeper and deeper into this lake's dark depths. I was still being held by the hands, and the more I kicked, the tighter they seemed to get on me.

My throat hurt and made me want to cry.

I looked at the ground. I looked down and saw a woman holding my legs. Her eyes were gone, and she looked so sad and scared. She had long, black hair that flowed through the water. Still, she was so pretty.

I tried to break free from her hold.

My lungs were begging for air as I looked up at the surface. I could see the sun shining through the water's ripples. I begged and pleaded with myself to swim, but I didn't know how.

To be honest, I had zero swimming experience.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but it felt like my brain was going to explode. I let out all of the air that was left in my lungs. She scratched at my legs, which hurt like hell. She scratched and scraped to keep me in the water with her, and if I tried to get away, she would cut me to pieces.

I could feel the water getting into my mouth. I tried harder, but it got worse.

I thought I was going to die.

I had Axel on my mind. I thought about all the things he had done to help me. How much I know that if I were still alive, I would hurt him now. Everything he did was to make sure I was safe. Axel loved me.

He did.

My death would hurt him physically and destroy him mentally, and after everything he'd done for me, I didn't want to let him down. And if we really were meant to be together, it would kill him.

I kicked as hard as I could one last time.

The hands broke free.

I pumped my arms quickly to try to get my body to move and swim.

My arms were quickly grabbed and pulled out of the water. As I fell to my knees on the dock, the sun warmed my cold skin. I coughed and choked as I tried to get the water out of my mouth.

As Axel patted me on the back to help me get rid of the water, the smell of his cologne filled my nose. I was shaking, and one of my hands was on the dock and the other was on his thigh. He sat down next to me and pulled me close to his chest.

I was shaking so hard.

"Sienna, what happened?" His voice shook, just like it had at dinner the night before. It was a call from him. I knew that I had scared him. "What the f**k just happened?"

"I--I," I had nothing to say. I knew there was something in the water because I was drawn to it. I couldn't say that to him. He would think I should be put in a mental hospital. I knew I'd seen the woman down there before, but I couldn't remember where. How did that happen? "A living person was trying to drag me under the water and drown me. It wasn't real, and it couldn't have happened. I can't swim, either." I said that it was partly true because I didn't want him to figure out that I was lying.

"The back of your legs, all the way down your legs," He stopped and stood me up, but stayed on his knees. "They are bleeding, how did you do this? What the hell happened?" Now that Axel was standing, I turned my head to look at him. My body shook so much that it was almost like having seizures. My mouth stopped making words all of a sudden. "You didn't walk in there by accident, Sienna,"

I was very scared.

"I'm sorry, I slipped," It felt wrong to lie to him. He was very likely thinking the wrong thing. But the truth was too hard to figure out. I didn't even understand it myself. "Something hurt me down there," I knew I hadn't convinced him because of the way he looked at me. I begged him with my eyes to just forget about it.

"If you hurt yourself because-"I was almost shocked. Did he think I'd do this to myself? After all he did to make me feel like he wanted me, he thought I'd take this way out? And if I could survive Xavier's torture, I certainly wouldn't risk my life here. "It's not safe, Sienna, you could've f*****g died down there! But I think you probably already knew that."

"I didn't do this on purpose," I stammered out between gasps. "I f*****g fell, okay? I fell and I can't swim," I said, ripping my arm out of his grasp. It seemed like Axel's asshole attitude came out whenever his feelings were in danger. "You think I'd kill myself just to escape you?"

"Is it just too far-fetched?" Axel put both hands in the air. I wanted the man who took me out to dinner last night and said sorry when he got home. "You despise me! No matter how hard I try, I can't make you feel at ease around me. Because you're so God damn nervous, your heart rate goes up tenfold and your hands do that thing where they try to hold onto anything. Sienna, I'm sorry I make you feel that way. It wasn't always like this, and it wasn't supposed to be like this! I wasn't a bad person. Now, I'm nothing else to you! Suicide becomes an option for you because you choose death over being with me."

"Sorry, Alpha, I can't help it. If you saw how I grew up and knew what men like you did to girls like me, you would understand!" I made my voice sound like his. I had no choice. "They've done things so bad that even the devil couldn't watch!"

Now, there was nothing but silence between us. I could only hear the water settling and the drops of water falling from my clothes to the dock.

"I am sorry," I didn't think I'd hear him say sorry so soon. "Please,"

"I hate myself because it's so hard for me to let you in. I'd like to! I can't explain how I feel, but it makes me want to love you and be next to you. Your voice is like a symphony and your touch is like electricity. I know that because of this mate bond, you feel all of this more strongly and it seems normal to you, but I do, too. This pull seems to get stronger the more I let it in. You can't treat me like this and expect me to love you any less; I refuse to be treated as if there is no other choice. I want the man you were last night!" I told him, though I couldn't look at him for more than a few seconds. He looked like he couldn't believe me, and he tried to find something to say. "But that might have been a mistake!" I walked by him so quickly that I felt like I should run away. I felt ashamed of how I looked in front of such a godly man. I put my arms across my chest to hide how wet it was, and I tried not to cry.

I saw Shavi looking out of the third-floor window. I could tell by the look of terror on her face that she had witnessed the entire thing.

Perhaps she had seen the person who had dragged me into the water.

Possibly I wasn't completely insane.