Separated In Love

Chapter 7

I look down at the hand holding me back, "Yes Ryan?". 

    "Can we talk?"

    "About?". He looks hurt as I release myself from his grip.

     "You know what". I just look at him. "Would you let me explain, it's a misunderstanding"

    "I know"

    "Nothing happened-" he cut short. "You know?" he asks. I nod.

    "I know you didn't sleep with the lady at the hotel, I know that".

     "Then what is happening, why were you locked up in your room?"

    "Because I am heartbroken, can I go now?"

    "Why wouldn't you talk to me? I thought everything was fine with us"

    "Is it!, Is it really fine with us or do you wish it was fine 'cause I don't think everything is fine, Ryan" I shout. 

    "What do you mean?"

    "What do I mean, hmm" I put my hand on my chin like I am thinking and start pacing. "Let me see. Ha!" I say sarcastically. "Let's start with the fact that you don't talk to me about anything, and the fact that you are somehow always too busy for me or is it the fact that you probably only see me as a s*x partner and not a wife, you always leave the bed after we've been together even before the separation. You think I didn't always know when you left the bed or that you always sneak back in when you think I would soon be awake? I always reason for you that it was probably work, but who is works at three in morning all the time. What is the reason now? That you don't want to rush things, that you are still busy, you want us to ease our way back to normalcy? Do you know much my heart breaks every time you leave the room? Am I the problem, his he not satisfied with me? Did I do something wrong? does he not love me? I hate what goes my mind and I especially hate how you make me feel!" I shout, "Do you get what I mean now?" I ask staring at him. 

    "You know I am busy, Mae with school and work. I thought you understood!" he shouts.

    "Is that all you are going to say? You are not the only one joggling a company and school, Ryan. I do it too and I still make time for you. That is what love and sacrifice is" I shout back. "You know what? I can not do this with you now, I am tired". I say and walk upstairs. 

    "You know I love you Mae" he calls after me.

    "Clearly not enough" I walk back up but stop and look back to him, "Just saying the word isn't enough anymore, Ryan" I state and go up. I can't help the tears that fall when I enter my room, it felt like a huge burden left my shoulders. I didn't know how much I needed to say those things to him. I climb my bed, curl up in a ball and fall asleep while still crying.

***

I still can not believe I spoke my mind to Ryan yesterday. Wow. I stare at the ceiling.

Ring Ring 

My phone chimes, Its a text from Ava and Raina on our group text.

How are you? - A

Talk to us, what is going on?  - R

Lucas doesn't know as well - A

Ryan wouldn't talk to me as well - R

I look at the text but ignore it. I don't want to talk about it but how do I make them understand that.

My phone signals another text, I pick it up and see it's from Paul. The same Paul who made Celine come over. 

 Hi - P

Nope, can not deal with that. My phone begins to ring, it's from Paul. I ignore the call and he calls again. I give in, I cut the call and text him.

I know you made Celine come over here, why would you do that? I thought we were friends even though we just met" - M

I am sorry, I really liked you an dI thought if I broke you and Ryan up, we would have a chance. It sounds stupid now and I am sorry. I would still like to be your friend" - P

I stare at the message, it sounds sincere. 

One more chance, that is all you get - M

Thanks - P

Why did you text - M

To apologize, Celine told me she told you it was me who sent her and I wanted to apologize and I also heard you were sick - P

Kind of but I am much better now - M

Cool, I am happy we are friends now. There is a fair in my street today and I wanted to invite you but I don't know if you would want to go, we just made up after all- P

Maybe this is what I need to take my mind off of things at least for a while. I think it would be fun to just hang out with someone who wouldn't ask me about Ryan or make me relief my pain.

Sounds like fun, I'm in - M

Really, cool, I would pick you up in an hour - P

Sounds perfect -M

I drag myself off my bed and walk to the bathroom. I look better, at least now I don't look like someone with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Even though I hate to admit it, lashing out at Ryan yesterday worked. I take a shower, scrubbing my body and wash my hair. I walk into my room, clear out the mess I have accumulated in my three weeks in hell. I finally open the blinds for the first time in weeks, 'Thank you...'.

I could have sworn I heard my blinds speak to me. I go to the closet and pick an outfit. To commemorate my being back to normal, okay, maybe half way back, I chose a black high-waist short, a pink turtle neck crop top, layered gold chains, wore my stud earrings and bracelets. Put on makeup to hide the evidence of sadness in my face, put my hair up in space buns and wore my thigh length boots. 

'I look good' I say to myself and smile. I carry my bag and make my way outside. I hear the gang in the living room and I sneak out. Paul was waiting by the car.

    "Wow, you look beautiful'' he says when he sees me.

    "Thank you" I smile and peck his cheek. The drive to his neighborhood is perfect, he put on some music and I danced all the way and like always, he made me laugh with his stories. I almost forgot about my problems at home, almost.

We finally get to his neighborhood and it is amazing, there are canopies everywhere with different things in them like in one canopy there is a shoot the bottle, there is also a pool of water meant for dunking people.

    "This is awesome" I tell Paul.

    "Thanks, we put a lot of effort into it". "Let me introduce you to my family" he adds. We walk up to a group of people under the what I assume is the drinks canopy, there is a bar underneath the canopy, cool.

    "Hi guys" Paul says greeting the people here. There is a black haired older man, he is average height but handsome. He has a striking resemblance to Paul, he must be his dad. I see where Paul gets his look from. The other person is a woman, blond and also beautiful, there is also a girl, probably around twelve but you would know she is going to be stunning when she grows older, the last person is a boy, maybe seventeen. He looks like the younger version of Paul, a heartbreaker obviously. 

    "Hi, son" The older man greets hugging him. His mom pecks his cheeks while brother fist-bump him. His younger sister just stares at me. 

    "Who are you?" she asks.

    "Oh, sorry. Guys, this is Mae, a friend from school" Paul says. 

    "Hi, it's nice to meet you all" I wave and smile.

    "Nice to meet you too, Mae, I am Jackson, Paul's dad" the man says shaking my hand.

    "Susan" his mother says hugging me.

    "This is Tom, my brother and Savannah, my sister"

    "Nice to meet you" They say together.

    "Jinx" Savannah shouts and I smile.

    "Is she your girlfriend?" Savannah asks smiling.

    "No, we are just friends" Paul answers.

    "Is she going to be your girlfriend?" Tom asks joining in the tease.

    "No" Paul answers rolling his eyes. "For the last time, we are just friends".

    "Your father and I were just friends too and here we are" Susan says.

    "Maybe that is how Mae and her husband started out" Paul says now smiling at the shock on their faces.

    "Her husband?" Jackson asks.

    "The one lady you bring home is married, great" Susan says.

    "What are you talking about, I brought home Liz" Paul counters.

    "Liz was the worst" Tom says and his family agree.

    "You are right" Paul says defeatedly. Who is Liz? 

    "You have to tell me about Liz" I whisper to Paul.

    "Another time but now what do you want to do first?" he answers smiling.

     "Shoot the bottle" I answer eagerly. We leave the tent and go play. I won the big stuffed tiger.

    "I didn't know you could shoot well'' Paul says.

    "You would be surprised at the things I can do" I answer smiling. 

The day went by so fast, I enjoyed every minute of it. I got to know Paul and his family a whole lot better. I played so many other game and drank so many things from his families tent.  After the kids went to bed, his parents and I decide to play a drinking games, we played drunk Jenga and Straight face. I laughed so hard and got so drunk. Paul didn't play as he is my ride back home.

    "I think it's time to take her home" Paul says and gets me on my feet.

    "No, we love her" his father says. 

    "I love you too" I reply.

    "Don't go!" his mother shouts as Paul leads me out of the tent.

    "Your parents are the best" I say as Paul guides me to the car.

    "Yes, I know" He answers and puts on my seatbelt for me.

    "Thanks" I hiccup.

    "For?"

    "Apologizing and bringing me here, I had so much fun".

    "Happy you did".

The drive home was quiet, I wound the window down to allow the night breeze sober me up, it did not. I can't believe I drank this much. The car stops in the driveway.

    "Let me help you inside" Paul offers.

    "No thanks, I got this besides, my husband is inside" I whisper like it's a secret. I wave Paul goodbye and walk to the door. I hit a wall when I entered, a fleshy wall. I look up and see Ryan standing there shirtless and cross. 

    "Hi, love" I greet smiling.

    "Are you drunk?" he asks.

    "Shh, don't let Ryan know, he would be angry" I whisper.

    "Okay, you are drunk, let's get you a cup of water''.

    "I don't want water" I say and I go up the stairs dragging myself. "When did the stairs get this plenty, I have been on it for like forever and I am not at the top yet" I complain.

    "Maybe because you are still at the bottom of the stairs". I laugh. Oh no.

    "I need a bathroom, stat!" I shout holding my mouth. Ryan carries me and runs up the stairs. The last thing I remember is throwing up on Ryan.

***

I wake up in bed with the biggest hangover ever. I am never drinking again. I open my eyes gently and thank goodness the blinds are down. I scan my environment and soon realize I am not in my room, it is Ryan's room. Why am I in Ryan's room? I feel a weight on my waist and look down to see a hand, I turn around slowly and my heart starts pounding erratically, Ryan is in bed with me, thank goodness he is sleeping. I see my lipstick on his chest and face, what have I done? I look under the blanket and see I am naked. We didn't do anything, did we? I am such an i***t. Now I know for a fact that I am never drinking again. We can't have slept together, if we did, Ryan wouldn't be here. What happened yesterday? The last thing I remember is playing a drinking game with Paul's parents. 

Paul, he would remember, now where is my phone? I gently remove Ryan's arm and quietly leave the bed trying not to wake Ryan up. I pick my clothes and phone from the floor and sneak out of the room. I send a text to Paul.

What happened yesterday? - M

You drank with my parents yesterday and got so drunk - P

And? - M

I drove you home, you said you've got this and I left - P

Thanks for yesterday, enjoyed it - M

I make my way to the bathroom in my room, my face is a mess, my lipstick is smeared all over, my eyes looks like I am going to a rock concert, no offence, and is that a hickey on my neck, what am I a teenager? I undress and notice hand marks all over my body, on my thighs, arms waist and even on my ass. What the heck happened last night? and soak in my tub. The smell of alcohol needs to be washed away. I close my eyes and dive under water in the tub, the water is cold like I like it. 

     ''Hi, love" 

     "Are you drunk?" Ryan said.

 I come out of the water, I remember something from yesterday. I keep this up and I would remember all that happened. I leave the tub before I prune, I pick my outfit, it's just sweats, comfortability is key right now. I make my way to the kitchen hoping Ryan is still sleeping, I need to avoid him till I remember what happened.

I make a light breakfast of toasts, eggs and coffee and eat in the kitchen. I make for Ryan too and cover it leaving a note. 

Thanks for last night

I go back to my room and lay in bed as yesterday came rushing at me like a wrecking ball. 

    "I need a bathroom, stat!'' I shout holding my mouth. 

Ryan comes running towards me, "You want to throw up?" he asks and I nod still holding my mouth.

    "Hold on" he says and carries me on his back. Too late. I throw up all over his back. He stops in his tracks.

    "Mae!"     

    "Sorry" I say timidly. 

    "It is fine" he says and carries me to his room, straight to the bathroom. He switches on the shower to cold. 

    "Undress and take a bath, I would be waiting outside" he says motioning to the shower. I remove my clothes, there is vomit all over it.

    "Let me leave the room first" he says turning his back to give me privacy.

    "It;s not like you haven't seen my naked"

    "Well..."

    "Don't you like my body anymore?" I ask crying.

    "No, you know I find you very beautiful" he says.

    "Then turn around" I say and he does. He sucks in a deep breath as he takes in my body.

    "You can join, you are shirtless anyway" I say giving him a drunk wink.

    "No"

    "But I threw up all over you" I reason.

    "It is fine, I can bath later when you are done". 

    "Ryan" I call as he is about to leave the bathroom.

    "Yes?"

    "The shower door wouldn't close" I lie.

    "You sure?"  he asks eyeing me suspiciously. I try the door again so he would see it didn't move. Truth is, I was holding the door slightly with my leg.

    "It was working earlier" he says and walks up to the door. I pull him into the shower and under the running water then closed the door.

    "Mae-" . I cut him off with a kiss.

Okay so let me get this straight, I tricked him into the shower with me and had s*x with him both in the shower and in his bed multiple times. I am an i***t.

An i***t.

    "Mae" I hear Ava call from outside my room.

    "Come in"

    "Hi girl" Raina greets. 

    "It feels like it's been a million years since we've been together like this" Ava comments.

    "Yes, I missed you girls"

    "If you did, why didn't you reply our texts?" Raina asks.

    "What texts?" I lie. 

    "Raina and I decide not to ask about what happened and just be here for you" Ava says and I smile.

    "Thanks guys"

    "So what should we do, we haven't hung out in a while"

    "Home spa, I need it now more than ever"

    "With everything that's happened, I agree" Raina says.

    "You look like you belong on the set of an horror movie" Ava compliments.

    "Thanks dear" I say sarcastically.

    "Home spa it is" 

    "And we should call three masseuses for extra comfort" I suggests. Ava makes the call to our spa and ordered a home spa treatment and masseuses. We ordered the premium service.

The girls and I are in my home spa, the girls from the spa are all set up and the girls and I are currently having our pedicure and manicure done. We have face masks on and we would be having a mud bath and our massages later.  

    "I think I slept with Ryan yesterday" I blurt out.

    "What?" Ava shouts. 

    "I think I slept with Ryan yesterday" I repeat.

    "You think?" Raina asks

    "I did for sure" 

    "What happened?" Ava asks. I give them the run down minus the main details.

    "Wow" Raina says looking me.

    "You are never drinking again" Ava says.

    "That is what I said too".

    "What did he say?" Ava asks.

    "I haven't seen him today" 

    "Avoiding him?" Raina asks.

    "Avoiding him"

    "I don't know what happened but this morning I have bruises all over my body" I slide the robe off my shoulder and show my upper arm and shoulder. 

    "Things got rough, huh?" Raina teases.

    "That's your brother" Ava says.

    "Don't remind me, I am telling myself it's a random guy" Raina says.

After our massages, we go to the cinema for a 'The Office US' marathon. Popcorns set, chocolates set, candy and all other sweats set, lights out, blankets and pillows all round each of us, we start the show. I sat at the very top of the row of seats, Raina, two rows down and Ava on the row after me before Raina. Halfway through the first season, Ryan, Lucas and Larson walk in. 

    "Hi guys" Larson greets.

    "Shh" Ava and Raina shout back. My eyes is glued on Ryan, why did he have to be shirtless.

    "Why are you guys shirtless?" Raina asks.

    "Back from tennis and the pool" Larson answers.

    "That doesn't explain anything" Ava voices my thought.

    "We felt like it" Lucas says.

As the guys walk up to us, the light from the screen shines bright and you could clearly see the scratch marks on Ryan's body. The girls look at me and wink, the blood rushes to my face. Lucas seats with Ava, Larson with his girlfriend and Ryan walks up to me.

    "Hi" he greets. I nod, I don't trust my mouth right now. He seats besides me and shares the blanket with me. Why does this cinema couches have to be so big.

    "Remember when last we were here" he whispers in my ear while his eyes is still on the screen. I suck in my breath. Why is he doing this to me.

    "What happened last night?" I whisper. He looks at me his eyes darkening. 

    ''You don't remember?" he asks smirking. I nod. That's a lie, I remember it all. "I would reenact it for you but I think my body needs to heal first" he whispers. "And yours too" he says lightly running his finger on the bruise on my arm, my body reacting to his touch. He kisses the bruise on my shoulder as well. Why did I have to change to this small strap crop top after my massage, I should have stuck to the sweats. He casually puts his hand on my laps under the blanket.

    "Why did you sneak out this morning" he asks.

    "Who wouldn't, I had just slept with the guy I was angry at"

    "Thought you said you didn't remember?" he asks. His eyebrow raised and smirking, he looks at me.

    "This doesn't mean everything is fine with Ry" I whisper to him, "You still hurt me". His grip on my laps tighten.

    "I know but I willing to change if you would let me?" he whispers back. I look up at him.

    "I don't k-" he cuts me off with his mouth. 

    "I love you more than anything else and I want to show you that. Another chance and I wouldn't blow it, I promise" he says. Maybe I believe him, maybe he as really changed, I did wake up with him in bed today or maybe it's the kiss working but I find myself nodding.

    "I am not saying I forgive you or anything but I am willing to give you another chance" I say.

    "Thank you and I wouldn't blow it this time, I promise" he says smiling. I draw him to me and kiss him. You could feel the emotions in him as he returns the kiss with so much passion.

    "If you blow it and hurt me again, I am going to kill you and I mean it". He smiled.

    "I am not joking, Mr. Stop smiling"

    "I know you not joking" he says and kisses me. I smile into the kiss, happy that everything is fine at least right now.

    "Now, care to tell me who you were with last night and why you got so drunk.

    "I was with Paul" I answer smiling.

    "Same Paul from the restaurant, Paul that told Celine to come here?" I nod.

    "We are friends now" I say casually.

    "Friends, huh?" 

    "Yeah"

    "So what were you doing with your new friend  yesterday?'

    "He took me to a carnival on his street and introduced me to his family"

    "He introduced my wife to his family, I will kill that guy"

    "Chill, he told them I was married" I say laughing.

    "I always knew Paul had a good head on him". I just stare at him and laugh. I am happy things are fine again and I have a feeling it's going to last this time.

We watch the series and sit quietly, laughing when necessary. Raina has her head on Larson's shoulder while Lucas rests his head on Ava's shoulders.

    "When do you think that will happen? I ask Ryan pointing at Ava and Lucas. 

    "A week, tops. Lucas just needs courage to ask her out" 

    "I give it a week too, he should send her a text if he is too shy" I suggest.

    "A text? Wouldn't she hate that?"

    "She would and it would force them to talk" I say smiling happy with my logic.

After the movie, we all sit at the dining for dinner.

    "We should go on a trip" Ryan says out of the blue.

    "A trip?" I ask and he nods.

    "Yeah, for a week at a resort but..."

    "What is the but?" Lucas asks.

    ''I don't want to see you guys all through the week. It's just Mae and I as far as I am concerned" he concludes. 

    "I like that logic. Just me and my wife for a week" Larson says looking at Raina.

    "Your wife" Lucas shouts.

    "You got married?" Ava and I ask at the same time.