Forbidden Christmas

CHAPTER 20: After Midnight

Maya's Pov

The workshop was warm, lit by soft lights Derek had strung up. A space heater hummed in the corner. He'd laid out blankets on the floor near his workbench, pillows stacked against the wall.

He'd planned this. Prepared for it.

"Hey," Derek said when I walked in. He was still in his Christmas pajamas, a coat thrown over them. His hair was messy. He looked nervous.

"Hey."

I closed the door behind me. The estate was dark through the window. Everyone asleep. Just us and the quiet night.

"This is nice," I said, gesturing to the blankets.

"I wanted somewhere comfortable to sit. To talk." He rubbed the back of his neck. "That sounds like a line. I don't mean it like a line."

"I know what you mean."

We stood there awkwardly for a moment. This was different than all our other moments. No one was about to interrupt. No one could walk in. We actually had time.

"Come sit," Derek said finally.

I sat on the blankets, back against the wall. Derek sat next to me, close but not touching. Both of us suddenly shy.

"Merry Christmas," he said.

"You already said that."

"I'm saying it again. In private. Where I can actually mean it without everyone watching."

"Merry Christmas, Derek."

He reached over and took my hand, the same way he'd done a dozen times today in secret. But this time, we didn't have to let go.

"Thank you for the bookmark," I said. "I meant what I said earlier. It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure if it was too much. Too presumptuous."

"It's perfect."

"Sophie almost caught me making it like three times. I had to hide it under wood shavings whenever she came into the workshop."

"She suspected something."

"She always does. She's too observant for her own good." Derek smiled. "Gets that from her mother."

"Do you miss it? Being married to Catherine?"

"No. I miss having a partner sometimes. Someone to share things with. But not her specifically. We weren't right for each other. Took me a long time to admit that."

"But you stayed. For Sophie."

"For Sophie. For stability. For fear of being alone. Lots of reasons that seemed good at the time." He turned to look at me. "Being with you feels different. Scary but different."

"Scary how?"

"Scary like I could actually fall all the way. Like this could be real. Like I could get my heart completely shattered."

"I could shatter your heart?"

"Easily."

I squeezed his hand. "I won't."

"You can't promise that."

"No. But I can promise I'll try not to. I can promise I'll be honest. I can promise I won't run." I paused. "Unlike someone I know."

Derek winced. "I deserved that."

"You did."

"I'm sorry. For leaving. For calling us a mistake. For hurting you."

"I know you are. But you can't do it again, Derek. I meant what I said. I can't handle being abandoned again."

"I won't. I promise. No more running." He pulled me closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "I'm all in, Maya. Completely. Terrifyingly. All in."

I leaned my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Steady. Strong. Real.

"Sophie's really okay with this?" I asked.

"She's adjusting. It helps that she loves you. That she knows you're not trying to replace her mom or anything."

"I would never."

"I know. She knows too." Derek pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "She made me promise to make you happy. Said if I don't, she's taking your side."

"She said that to me too. Best friend code."

"So I'm outnumbered."

"Completely."

We sat in comfortable silence for a while. The heater hummed. Outside, snow started falling again, visible through the workshop window.

"What happens after Christmas?" I asked. "When I go back home?"

Derek tensed slightly. "What do you want to happen?"

"I don't know. Long distance? You visiting? Me visiting?"

"I want to keep seeing you. However we can make it work."

"Even with the distance?"

"Even with the distance. Even with the complications. Even with everything." He tilted my face up to look at him. "I'm not letting you go just because it's inconvenient."

"That's good. Because I'm not letting you go either."

Derek smiled, that rare full smile that transformed his whole face. Then he leaned down and kissed me.

Soft at first. Gentle. Like he was asking permission.

I kissed him back, my hands going to his hair, pulling him closer.

The kiss deepened. Derek's arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his lap. My back pressed against his chest. His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw to my neck.

"Maya," he breathed against my skin.

"Yeah?"

"If we keep doing this, I'm not going to want to stop."

"Good."

"We're in my workshop. Where anyone could see through the window."

"Then we should turn off the lights."

Derek pulled back to look at me. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

He stood up and turned off the overhead lights, leaving just the small strand of Christmas lights glowing softly. Then he came back and pulled me close again.

"We should talk about this," he said even as his hands moved down my sides. "About expectations. About what this means."

"Stop talking."

"Maya—"

I kissed him to shut him up. He groaned against my mouth, his hands tightening on my waist.

We spent the next hour not talking. Just touching. Kissing. Learning each other. The space heater kept us warm. The blankets cushioned us. The Christmas lights cast everything in soft shadow.

Derek was gentle. Patient. He asked if I was okay about a hundred times. Made sure I was comfortable. Made sure I wanted this.

And I did. I wanted this. Wanted him. Wanted to feel close to someone without walls between us.

Afterward, we lay tangled in the blankets, both breathing hard, both smiling like idiots.

"That was…" Derek started.

"Yeah."

"We just—"

"Yeah."

"In my workshop."

"Your very romantic workshop."

He laughed, pulling me closer. "I love you."

The words hung in the air. Heavy. Real. Terrifying.

I looked up at him. "What?"

"I love you. I know it's fast. I know it's complicated. But I do. I love you, Maya."

My eyes filled with tears. "I love you too."

Derek kissed me again, soft and sweet. "Say it again."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you, Derek Hayes."

"I'm never getting tired of hearing that."

We lay there for a long time, just holding each other. No talking. No thinking about tomorrow. Just being together.

Around two in the morning, my phone buzzed. Sophie.

"If you guys are done being gross in Dad's workshop, you should probably go to bed. Separately. Before Mom wakes up and comes looking for you."

I showed Derek the text. He groaned.

"She knows everything."

"She's watching us right now, probably."

Derek looked toward the house. Sure enough, Sophie's window was lit. We could see her silhouette waving.

"Your daughter is a menace."

"She gets that from me."

I started gathering my clothes. Derek did the same. Both of us moving slowly, not wanting this to end.

"Tomorrow?" Derek asked as I buttoned my coat.

"Tomorrow."

"I meant what I said. I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

He walked me to the door, stealing one more kiss before I left. Then I ran across the yard to the house, snow falling on my hair, my heart so full it hurt.

In my room, I climbed into bed and looked out the window. Derek was back in his workshop, looking up at my window like he always did.

I grabbed my phone.

Maya: "Tonight was perfect."

Derek: "It was."

Maya: "Thank you for the bookmark. And for everything else."

Derek: "Thank you for giving me a second chance. For not running when I did."

Maya: "I told you. I'm not going anywhere."

Derek: "Good. Because I'm keeping you. Fair warning."

Maya: "I'm counting on it. Goodnight. I love you."

Derek: "I love you too. Sleep well."

I set my phone down and stared at the ceiling, the bookmark on my nightstand, my heart still racing.

I'd come to Colorado for Christmas with my best friend. I'd never expected to fall in love.

But here I was. Completely, terrifyingly in love with Derek Hayes.

And for the first time in my life, I wasn't afraid of it.

I was just happy.