Paralysis

16th Level

_ Let’s see... room 98... 99... 100... 101... 102!

Knock knock knock

I wait a moment and he comes to open the door... wearing just a towel. I instinctively turn my head away. He’s quite a looker, but he’s no match for Guillaume.

_ Oh! It’s you..., he says, looking embarrassed. What can I do for you?

_ I wanted to invite you to try the dishes you so kindly gave me

_ Y-yes, of course... just let me get dressed quickly

_ Of course

He closes the door and I relax a little. Men these days, they haven’t been taught any modesty. Two minutes flat and he comes rushing out of the bedroom… in a suit, dark blue.

_ So, where shall we taste the dishes?

_ Where you sent them, of course

_ In your bedroom!? OK

I give him a slight smile and we head towards my room. Once there, we sit down and eat in an eerie silence. I eat very little, whereas he tucks into the dishes at breakneck speed. After a while, he decides to break the ice.

_ It’s kind of you to have invited me to dinner...

_ Thank you, for the flowers and the food...

_ Don’t thank me, I was just trying to make up for my lack of tact earlier

_ It was me who wasn’t very polite to you, leaving you like that

A heavy silence settles over the room once more, until I decide to take the plunge.

_ My husband’s ex-fiancé has reappeared and has scarred me for life...

I clench my arm, holding back the urge to burst into tears or have a panic attack.

_ You can take it slowly if you like. Don’t push yourself...

_ I’m fine, I say, taking a deep breath. Samira Goldsmith... subjected me to all sorts of torture on my marital bed, whilst my husband was locked in a coffin... buried alive in the garden...

I cry as I tell this story; I can’t help it, even without going into the details.

_ Calm down for a moment

Her voice is calm and reassuring. I listen to her and calm myself before continuing.

_ At the hospital, they told me he had amnesia... he didn’t even remember me. As far as he was concerned, he was still engaged to that... nymphomaniac...

_ Why aren’t you with your husband?

_ He’s decided to live with the woman he thinks is the love of his life… and I can’t stand the sight of her…

Leonard’s gaze is insistent. He wants to know more; it’s obvious. But I don’t know if I can… His expression softens.

_ We can stop there for today. It sounds like a very long and painful story. You should take a pill for your headache and get some rest. I’ll leave you now, hoping to see you again very soon.

He stands up, wishes me goodnight, and leaves. I undress straight away and lie down under the duvet. I don’t really feel like sleeping, for fear of having nightmares, so I give in to a short and very light sleep.

The weeks go by and still no news from Guillaume. Léonard and I are gradually growing closer. I’ve continued to confide in him; we have a sort of consultation every other day on the roof of the building. In the meantime, we often meet up in the hotel restaurant to get to know each other better. I know he’s married, but he hasn’t lived with his wife for nearly a year. Apparently, she’s been cheating on him without a second thought, yet he’d like to get back together with her.

Given how often we meet, I suspect he wants more from me... but I’m not thinking of starting a new life. I only love Guillaume and I don’t think I could love anyone else in the same way. Besides, it really gets on my nerves knowing he’s in someone else’s arms, without me being able to do anything about it.

According to Léonard, my nightmares and my fear of needles are entirely justified; it’s post-traumatic stress disorder, and it’s also the reason I can’t go near her, much to her delight.

Tonight, Léonard and I are going out for a walk after dinner. We walk, talk and laugh in the streets lit by tall streetlamps. We chat about this and that, when suddenly I freeze on seeing... my worst nightmare, just a few metres away from me. It’s been nearly two months since I last saw her, but she still has the same effect on me; she makes my blood run cold...

_ Is there a problem, Khrystal?

_ S-Samira, I said in a low voice

She turns round and notices me. A huge, scheming smile spreads across her face. She walks towards me gracefully, never taking her eyes off me. I’d like to run away, but I’m paralysed with fear...

_ Good evening, my love, she said sweetly

_ Madam, you should go..., said Leonard, but she didn’t listen to him

_ It’s been a long time. I haven’t forgotten you, you know; I haven’t forgotten the good times we had together...

I close my eyes and try to convince myself that this is all just a nightmare. She moves even closer to me and presses her chest against mine. We’re about the same height, so our chests meet. She keeps talking, but I’m not really paying attention to what she’s saying, until...

_ ...I’ll take good care of Guillaume, well... until I get tired of him, again. I’ll probably end up killing him because I wouldn’t want to know he was in someone else’s arms...

I see red. I lose my cool and my fist flies out on its own. I open my eyes; she’s on the floor, covering her face with one hand. She gives a faint smile. What have I done!?

_ SAMIRA!...

Guillaume rushes over and takes her in his arms. Guillaume... He glares at me.

_ What have you done to her?

_ I-I...

I start crying my eyes out. I can’t take any more. I run in the opposite direction. I run as fast as I can without stopping. Léonard runs after me but eventually gives up. I run, crying; it starts to rain, but I don’t stop.

I run, and it feels good.