Life After Loss

Chapter 4

You have an interview with Stephan Housely. Be punctual and try to be there 15 mins earlier. Look and dress nice.

Ximora came through when it came to the job. I had my doubts about this, but now it felt real when she confirmed to me that I had an interview with the head of the company. From the moment Dahlia found out, she took it upon herself to buy me a new suit and tie so that I looked ravishing at my interview. I knew not to wear my usual sweats, and I had a couple suits that would have sufficed. My girlfriend was being extra. She even paid for me to get my hair braided so that it wasn’t a nappy short afro.

“I bought a tie specifically so I can learn how to tie one!” Dahlia exclaimed. “I want to be like one of those housewives that has to get their husbands ready for work.”

“But we’re not married.” My hands were planted on her hips as she worked on my tie in a sloppy manner.

“Not yet.” She narrowed her eyes at me.

“How do you know I want to marry you?” She spoke about it often, but she knew my stance on marriage. I didn’t believe in it. I blame myself for having her believe in these promises we spoke about at bedtime.

‘’You don’t want to marry me?’’ She flipped the question on me. I was going to respond truthfully, but that messed up my entire plan, so I smirked. My smirk could mean anything. Luckily for me, I knew she saw it as a positive thing. Once she fixed my tie, she leaned up a bit to plant a delicate kiss on my lips. ‘’That’s what I thought.’’ She leaned away, pulling my tie coquettishly along with her. She made breakfast, she packed me lunch, she made sure I had every necessity. It reminded me of my first day of school when pops wanted to make sure everything was perfect. He made me wear khaki overalls with a green shirt underneath. I was a snaggle-toothed kid. I would never forget it because the picture of me smiling wide was on the fridge. Pops loved that picture. Told me every time he cleans, he would pause to stare at the little boy who held so much innocence in his eyes. He told me that I had the world in the palm of my hand. Now when I look at my hand, palm facing up, there is no world. There was emptiness.

‘’You’re going to do amazing.’’ Dahlia complimented when she caught me staring at myself in the mirror. I was distracted, leading a potential conversation in my head that I feel would pop up in the interview. I always tried to prepare, make sure my mouth wasn’t running as fast as my mind. One thing I refused to do was fumble and act like I was nervous to be there. ‘’And when you get back, we are going to celebrate.’’ She purred, I felt her arms wrap around my hips and her head leaned into the crook of my neck. ‘’I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.’’ I loved hearing those words.

I whispered. ‘’Let’s make our dreams a reality.’’ I turned my head to kiss her forehead, then stared back at the mirror in front of us. Hmm…maybe being married to her wouldn’t be so bad.

Ximora allowed me to use one of her cars for the interview. Dahlia wasn’t on board with this idea as she typically didn’t like me using anything of another woman’s in the first place. I understand that, but my thought process was Dahlia needed her car to get back and forth to work and take her kid places. She offered to let me use the vehicle, but I couldn’t take her transportation away from her. Ximora had three vehicles, for what reason, I have no idea who needed that many vehicles, but it came in handy when I needed to use one for the next couple days to get around. This didn’t come free to me. Ximora needed me to keep her car clean, the gas filled, and to make sure I drove around cautiously because if she found her vehicle damaged in any way or form, she would cut my balls off and stuff them down my throat. Unfortunately, I believed her.

When I imagined pulling up to the destination, I thought of downtown. Everyone walked the sidewalks to get where they needed to be in their suits and ties and pencil skirts. I imagined briefcases and people power walking with a coffee in their hands, maybe even talking on the phone. Like in the movies. Instead, the area was not remotely downtown. It was more on the rural side of town that I thought no one ever came out this way. The building was brick and small. When Ximora mentioned it was a small corporation, she truly meant that. As I parked the car to admire the view, it wasn’t all bad. The back of it led into the woods, surrounded by trees. It was the perfect place to watch sunrises or sunsets. Parking lot was littered with vehicles of every brand in a neat manner. The grass was trimmed and it even had a beautiful garden of wildflowers. The sidewalks were tidy and the bushes were trimmed. It was a nice, little area. The windows were large and square, and planted on them was the company’s name and logo, X-Tech Enterprises.

Why did I feel so tiny walking to the entrance? Why was my heart beating fast suddenly? It was jitters, but I knew I could wing this. I had to shake off this feeling of nerves. Faking my confidence was my main focus because they would turn me away if I looked like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs.

I walked up to the entrance, forcing a smile on my face as I pressed the button. I shifted my feet, squaring up my shoulders and taking deep breaths. Why was I acting like I never had an interview before? I worked at restaurants, hotels, and a gas station before. Were those any different? I didn’t wear a suit and tie to my former interviews. I didn’t have this looming feeling of dread deep in my stomach.

‘’Yes, how can I help you?’’ It was a feminine voice on the other end. I didn’t realize the breath I exhaled.

‘’Um, yes,’’ I cleared my throat and spoke louder. ‘’My name is Ferris Rayland. I have a twelve-thirty interview today, ma’am.’’ Ximora advised me to come fifteen minutes or earlier, which I did. It was about to be twelve-ten.

‘’Ah, yes. Mr. Housely is expecting you. Please give me one second to buzz you in.’’ The voice responded.

The looming dread I was experiencing was because this was my career. This was not a dead end job that I was heading to for only a paycheck. I was nervous because I knew I had the potential to ruin this. It wasn’t a mega tech company, but it was a start that would open future opportunities for me.

I was ushered in with polite grins. The woman offered me drinks and snacks to make me comfortable. I couldn’t say no to a bottle of water and a bag of cheetos. The office itself was bland. Whites, pale browns, and greys was the entire decor. Everyone wore comfortable clothing and I was the only one out of place dressed to the nines. When we passed others, the men were dressed in regular jeans and t-shirts. Some women wore dresses and others wore slacks with a light blouse.

Everyone appeared personal here. I eavesdropped on conversations when older workers were discussing their children. An older man was telling his younger companion about his daughter’s wedding last month and how his new son-in-law was often showboating the gifts they received for their elopement. Another woman was telling her company about her newborn nephew and how he was giving her baby fever. Apparently she was well over her forties and single, so children was out of the question for her. Then there was a man going on about his wardrobe and how he wanted to change his style, he was feeling either steampunk or vintage. I didn’t want to know how old he was. I suppose it was a delight for everyone to be diverse in their own way. No one stuck out like a sore thumb…unless they were really, really weird. And creepy.

I was early to my interview, but they were taking their time. I had finished my water and my bag of chips, found myself stretching in my seat and continuous random conversations entering my ears. Some passed by me with a quick hello or nod, and I would return it. I tried my best not to scroll through my phone because I did not want Mr. Housely to believe that my device kept my interest. I wanted him to know I was attentive and alert. I was serious about this job, and he would get the hint of my dedication.

It was closing in on twelve-thirty by time a silver-haired man came towards me. I got up without thinking, my hand reaching out for a handshake. ‘’Mr. Rayland?’’

‘’Mr. Housely?’’

He bellowed a laugh, shaking my hand with a squeeze. ‘’You are on point. I like you already.’’ He flashed a glistening white grin that made me grin back, hoping my teeth were just as bright.

‘’I try to be, sir.’’

‘’Well, you can follow me this way and we can get this interview started. Ximora said nothing but good things about you, so I hope you live up to it.’’

‘’Good things about me? Coming from Ximora? I suppose I am rubbing off on her.’’ I joked, wondering how much longer could I keep up with this cheery facade. Mr. Housely led me to a room that was the last door in the long corridor that housed different offices and cubicles. Once we entered, he had shut the door behind him, gesturing for me to sit anywhere. I turned to him, ‘’If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Ximora?’’

Mr. Housely took a seat across from me. ‘’Her school often hosts career events and she’s always there.’’ That made sense considering her career coaching business. Maybe that’s how she had crazy network connections among different businesses. ‘’One day I went to one of the career day events and she came over to ask me about my business. She told me that she started a business as her own of being a career coach with an interest in becoming a career specialist. She actually helped get us a summer intern, so I trust her judgment.’’

I nodded my head, slowly. ‘’That makes sense. She’s very smart.’’ Ugh, I hated complimenting her.

‘’So, shall we get started?’’ Mr. Housely proposed.

Then the questioning started. They were simple questions to get to know me. The interview wasn’t as formal as I thought it would be so me arriving in a suit and tie was ridiculous. Most of the time we were joking and having a humorous time. I learned that Mr. Housely was quite easy to talk to. He didn’t appear intimidating and he made me feel comfortable during the entire interview.

What do you like to do in your free time?

My thoughts were banking on honesty or what he wanted to hear. Did I tell him that I did drugs, played video games, and slutted my girlfriend out? Mr. Housely took one look at this crisp suit I had on and conjured up a personality for me. Integrity was far from my strong suit, I didn’t want to let this man down. “I code a lot in my free time. Or I’m designing websites. I’m really into keeping my skills up to par so that I can keep advancing in life.” That sounded smart enough for him to eat the crumbs out the palm of my hand.

Have you ever worked in a field like this before?

“I have not. This is new to me, I’m a beginner, so I do appreciate that you wanted to take the time to meet me to give me a chance. I promise, I won’t let you down.”

Mr. Housely pointed out that he was liking my attitude so far. What skills can you contribute to the company?

Not sure if this is my favorite question. “Well,” I cleared my throat. “I’m a very punctual person, I try to be earlier than on time, so lateness is minimum to none with me. I am dedicated to my work, and I feel that my work drive will impress you — not saying that I’m the smartest here,” Which I probably was. I hate humbling myself. “But I’m excited to absorb and learn from everyone here. I can say so many good things about myself but we both know actions speak louder than words so I rather just show you how much of an asset I can be to the company.” And…sold! I massaged my lips together as Mr. Housely’s eyebrows rose, indicating he was impressed with me.

“When’s the earliest you can start?”

“I can start today if you let me.” I joked and we shared a laugh.

“How about we start you early next week? That way you can enjoy the weekend and be ready for a fresh start on Monday.”

I didn’t even have to think twice about it. “I like that, Mr. Housely.”

Mr. Housely snorted. “Don’t be so formal around here. You can call me Stephan.”

As we stood up, we shook hands once again, a permanent grin on my features. “Thank you for your time, Stephan.”

The excitement was kicking in soon as I left the premises. I was texting the group chat that I shared with my close friends, then the group chat that I shared with pops and Desirae, then I texted Dahlia. Told her to prepare for tonight because we were going to celebrate. I didn’t have much in my bank account, but I wanted to take them out to eat.

Yo, pops, can I borrow 80 real quick? I’ll pay you back on my first paycheck!

The old man had to come through. I got a job. A good paying job. He would be more lenient. As predicted, he was. He wanted his money back, obviously, but he sent eighty dollars to my bank account without asking why I needed it. Hopefully eighty dollars was enough to take my woman out. Then again, I won’t take her anywhere expensive.

Usually whenever we went out, Dahlia always had someone to watch the kid. Unfortunately, Zinnia tagged along. I had no problem with another man’s child, but eighty dollars was all I had on me. Unless Zinnia ate off the plate from whatever Dahlia ordered, the two year old was more than likely going to get something of her own from the kids’ menu.

In order to combat my financial situation, I took them to a small diner that sold burgers. The burgers were greasy and large and Dahlia made a comment about how she chooses the better date spots than I do. I thought she would appreciate it since I know how much she loved greasy foods. Dahlia wasn’t the healthiest eater, and sometimes that worried me. We ate out more than she cooked, and if she did cook, it was fried (but still delicious!). On top of that, I wanted a little extra in my pocket so that I could celebrate alone with a blunt, but I need the supplies.

Driving Dahlia and Zinnia back home was a quiet ride. I think Dahlia was a little disappointed that I wasn’t spending the night tonight. I explained to her that I wanted the weekend to be on top of things, to relax in solitude. I would be back to spend the night at her place after work on Monday.

As I drove off from Dahlia’s place, I remembered the one person that I forgot to thank. If it wasn’t for Ximora, I wouldn’t have this opportunity. Despite her being a pain in my ass, I do owe her a thank you and she would be proud of me for getting it.

Ximora lived in a quiet area, a cul-de-sac. The area was clean and the neighborhood was ten minutes from the city area. I never understood how she could live in a darkened area. Her house was nice. The driveway was littered with cars, three of them belonging to her, one belonging to her dad, the other her mom, and the last one her younger brother. Her entire family was well off, her dad was a plant manager, her mother worked in medical coding, her brother was still in high school, but he was an assistant manager at some fast food joint. If they were looking to adopt, I would happily take my grown ass to apply to be one of their adult children.

I parked the car in front of the mailbox, texting Ximora that I was outside her house. She responded with a question mark to which I simply told her to come outside. I headed up the walkway to the small porch. Their lawn was one of the prettiest I’ve seen, and that’s only because her father did not play about the aesthetics of his home. My favorite part would be the backyard. The corner of their backyard housed a beautiful pond with a waterfall filled with koi fish. I hardly came to Ximora’s house, but I knew so much about the renovations because the brat liked to brag about it.

‘’Hey, Lanridge…’’ I crooned out soon as I saw her step out the front door, a robe adorning her body that she closed to hide her pajamas.

‘’Why are you here this late?’’ Her tone didn’t sound like she had time for games.

‘’I just wanted to thank you.’’ I guess it was too late to play games. ‘’For the job interview. I know I got it. I start Monday.’’ I was cheesing hard. Even if it was too dark to see it. ‘’Stephan said that you told him nothing but good things about me, and you know,’’ I paused to cross my arms over my chest. ‘’I want to know what these good things were. I need to make sure you sold the part really good.’’

I watched as Ximora rubbed her temples. ‘’It’s really too late to try and give me a headache, Ferris.’’ Oooh, she used my real name! This must be serious. ‘’I’m very proud that you got the job. But you could have texted me this instead of pulling up in front of my house. I’m very swamped with so much right now and I have a big day tomorrow.’’

‘’Oh, my bad.’’ I blinked at her. ‘’Well, still thanks for getting me the interview and loaning me your car.’’

‘’Two hundred every two weeks.’’

‘’Don’t I get a discount for being your favorite person?’’

Crickets.

Yeah, this woman was not going to cut me any slack. The look on her face was pure exhaustion and ready to murder. I backed up a bit in case she did attack me. ‘’Two hundred every two weeks is feasible, I can do that.’’ I nodded at her. She looked like she was ready to dip back into the house until I leaned forward and stretched out my arms. ‘’Can I get a hug?’’ I asked. Ximora was not the type that liked being touched. We hugged once before a long while back, but she was so stiff and uncomfortable in my arms. She didn’t even wrap her arms around me, so it felt like a one-sided hug. Sometimes I wondered if she hated me and was putting up a front like I was. I tolerated Ximora, but I also didn’t want her to hate me. I wanted her to like me because everyone needed to like me.

Que the roll of her eyes, but she moved in to give me a hug. One arm wrapped around me, but I wrapped two around her. She was about to pull away, but I held her tighter and longer without a word. When I pulled away, I stared down at her, ‘’Get some sleep, okay? Dream about me too.’’ I smirked.

She scoffed at me, ‘’Yeah, I will. You just make sure you drive my car safely.’’