Crack For Certainty
1673 Words
Jasmine Lavander,she is beautiful with long black hair,a queenbee rather,intelligent as well as Enid. She noticed things before other people did.She noticed the way Troy laughed a little too loudly in class now,like he was trying to convince himself he was fine. She noticed how he stopped checking his phone between lectures. How he stayed behind after class, staring at nothing.And she noticed who he wasn’t talking to Enid anymore.
Enid.
That was the first clue.
They were paired together for a group activity,pure coincidence, or so it seemed.
“You okay?” Jasmine asked casually as they walked to the library.
Troy shrugged. “Yeah,just tired.”
“That’s not a real answer,” she said lightly.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Guess I’m not great at pretending.”
That honesty surprised him.
It surprised her too.
They sat across from each other, books open but untouched.
“You know,” Jasmine said gently, “you don’t have to explain anything to me.”
Troy exhaled. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Then don’t,” she replied. “Just be quiet with someone for once.”
That was something Enid used to say.
And without meaning to, Troy softened.
Jasmine didn’t flirt. Not openly. She didn’t touch him. She didn’t make promises.She listened.
She noticed how his voice dropped when Enid’s name came up in passing. How his jaw tightened when someone joked about relationships. How he deflected every attempt to set him up with someone else.
“You’re carrying something heavy,” Jasmine said one afternoon as they packed up.
He looked at her, startled. “Am I that obvious?”
“To someone paying attention,” she said.
They sat on the steps outside the building as the sun dipped low.
“I like someone I shouldn’t,” Troy admitted suddenly.
Jasmine didn’t react right away. She waited.
“She has a boyfriend,” he continued. “And she’s trying to do the right thing.”
“And you?” Jasmine asked.
“I’m trying,” he said. “I’m just not very good at letting go.”
That was it.
That was the crack.
Jasmine nodded slowly. “That’s hard.”
He laughed bitterly. “That’s one word for it.”
That night, Jasmine lay awake, staring at the ceiling.
She could see it clearly now.
Troy wasn’t broken. He wasn’t careless.
He was open,raw in a way people rarely allowed themselves to be.
And vulnerability, she knew, was dangerous.
Not because it was weak
But because someone else could step in and become the place he leaned on.
The next day, when Troy sat beside her again, Jasmine smiled a little warmer.
Not possessive. Not manipulative.
Just present.
And in her heart, she made a quiet decision:
If he’s falling apart. I’ll be the one he falls into.
She didn’t know yet how complicated that choice would become.
She only knew that Troy was vulnerableand she was close enough to reach him.
Troy didn’t notice when it started.
That was the thing about refuge,you don’t run toward it. You drift into it when you’re tired of standing alone.
Jasmine was just,there.
Not asking questions he wasn’t ready to answer.
Not offering solutions he didn’t ask for.
Just present, steady, unassuming.
And somehow, that was enough.
The Space She Gave
They started studying together more often.
Not because he asked. Not because she insisted.
But because when Troy sat across from Jasmine, his shoulders loosened. His thoughts slowed.
“You don’t have to talk,” she said once, noticing his silence. “I’m okay with quiet.”
He looked at her, surprised. “Most people aren’t.”
“I’m not most people,” she replied with a small smile.
And she wasn’t.
When Troy was distracted in class, Jasmine slid her notes toward him without a word.
When he forgot deadlines, she reminded him casually, without judgment.
When he laughed, it was real. When he went quiet, she didn’t rush to fill the space.
One afternoon, he muttered, “I feel like I’m failing at everything.”
Jasmine didn’t say you’re not.
She said, “That sounds exhausting.”
And for the first time in weeks, Troy felt understood.
He never said Enid’s name out loud.
But Jasmine knew.
She saw it in the way Troy stiffened when someone mentioned long-distance relationships. In the way his gaze searched rooms before settling into resignation.
She didn’t compete with that.
She didn’t ask him to forget.
She simply stayed.It was subtle.
He started walking with her after class instead of heading straight back to the dorm. He texted her when he couldn’t sleep,not to vent, just to ask about nothing. He sat beside her without thinking.One evening, they sat on the campus steps, the air cool and quiet.
“I don’t feel so lost when I’m with you,” Troy said suddenly.
Jasmine’s breath caught,but she kept her voice steady. “I’m glad.”
He glanced at her. “You don’t make me choose anything.”
She met his gaze. “I’m not asking you to.”
And that was the moment something settled into place.
Not love. Not yet.But safety
Jasmine became the place Troy rested his thoughts when they grew too heavy.
She became the silence that didn’t judge. The presence that didn’t demand. The calm that didn’t ask him to be healed.
And Troy,without realizing it,began leaning on her.
Not because he had moved on.
But because he was tired of hurting alone.
Jasmine knew the risk of that kind of closeness.
She knew she was standing in the shadow of someone else.
But still,she stayed.
Because sometimes being someone’s refuge isn’t about being chosen first.
It’s about being there when everything else feels unstable.
And as Troy laughed quietly beside her, lighter than he’d been in weeks, Jasmine wondered.
If I can be the place he survives.
Could I one day be the place he stays?
Jasmine entered Troy’s life the way Enid never could loud, confident, unafraid.
“Troy! Sit here,” Jasmine called one day.
“You don’t have to shout,” he laughed.
“I do,” she replied. “Or you won’t notice me.”
Enid watched from her seat.
Weeks later, whispers filled the room.
“Troy and Jasmine are together.”
After Troy and Jasmine officially became a couple, the classroom felt different to Enid.
Nothing had changed,yet everything had.
Troy still sat two seats away, still answered questions with calm confidence, still smiled politely when their eyes met. But the warmth he once gave her freely now belonged to someone else. Jasmine’s laughter often filled the room, light and carefree, and Troy’s attention naturally followed it.
Life continued to Enid and she didn't bother as she convinced herself.
Her conversations with Cavin grew strained. Calls felt obligatory. Silences felt heavy.
One night, Enid stared at her phone,waiting a call for Cavin,until suddenly she fell asleep.
In the morning,no calls and texts from Cavin.Enid decided to visit Cavin before he left going to Cebu.
A warm hug from Cavin
"Hey, babe. Miss me?”
“Of course,” Enid replied, though her voice sounded distant even to herself.
“You okay?”Cavin asks
"Yes,babe. I've got this from the grocery store i will cook your favorite food"Enid said to change her mood.
"i will just take a shower and i am ready to listen to all your stories,okay?" Cavin cheerful said and hold her cheeks,that make her blush.
While Enid is busy cooking, at the corner she saw the mobile phone of Cavin and she wanted to take some photos while cooking.
She tried different poses,cutie pose so that Cavin will surprise when he opens up his gallery.
Enid got her attention to an open convo with unregistered number.
" your are my only crush and i can be your boyfriend and i am willing to wait" messages from Cavin
"your funny,what i've said many times you already had your girlfriend right?She might be furious when she found out"replied by the unregistered number
"She will,if you tell her"replied back by Cavin
"You're silly,hahahh"replied again.As i scroll the convo ,a lot of exchanged messages. Days and time we have no communications and yet he is busy texting and calling others.I froze and shattered in tears,WHY?they started texting a week before my first day of school. How long do they known each other, see each other??. I dont know how to figure out things right now. I want to cry out loud ask Cavin whats the meaning of this. i deleted all my pictures and turn back his phone, seems nothing happened.
He just finished shower and ask " can i taste it babe i really miss your specialty"
"Babe, i need to go, someting messed up,mother called a while ago i need to send my Aunt to the terminal" i rushed get my bag and runaway..
"babe,wait a second" Cavin said.
I no longer look back as i hopped in the bus while Cavin was shouting and calling my name to stop.
On my way home i can't hold on my tears anymore and keep wiping it.How could he do this to me despite being faithful to our relationship.
One night, Enid whispered,
"Was that the sign few days ago,Cavin?”
"How stupid i am,i didn't notice",she nodded
Enid,skip classes.She mourns over her heartbreak that no one knows. Calls and texts from Troy asking why she didn't attend classes and how is she remain unanswered.
Enid thought that was the end of it.
She told herself it was nothing,just shock.
But the feeling lingered.
She found herself watching Troy laugh with Jasmine, noticing the warmth in his eyes, the same warmth she had once seen directed at her. It was then that the truth slowly surfaced, heavy and undeniable
The realization unsettled her. Guilt followed soon after. She had rejected him because of loyalty, because of certainty,yet her heart had quietly betrayed her.
- Writer
