Stray Echo

Allowed to Feel

POV: Echo

Once James had directed everyone’s attention elsewhere, Atlas wrapped me in a hug and gave me a moment to calm down before we joined the buffet lineup. Everyone seemed to realize I needed that moment and left us to it while they began filling their plates.

I took deep breaths of my mate’s scent, using it to calm the anxiety that was building within me. Once my heart had slowed and no longer felt so heavy, I looked up at Atlas and gave him a tiny smile. He kissed the top of my head and shifted me so that his arm was wrapped around my shoulders, and we joined the line for food.

I once again took a small scoop of everything, excited to try everything available, and Atlas grabbed both trays to carry to the table. When we got to the table, I could see that they had left two seats empty beside each other for Atlas and me to sit on. On the left side was Noira, with Blaze directly across from her. Travis sat beside him, with James on his other side, directly across from the empty seats. Seth sat between him and John, who sat to the right of the other empty seat.

I stared at the empty seats for a moment, faced with the decision between sitting with my new pack, my new family, or sitting with my old pack, the men who kept me going for ten years. The choice felt completely overwhelming, and I stood frozen on the spot while my mind went in circles. I began to tap my fingers on my thumbs in my usual pattern.

Atlas looked between me and the table, and suddenly Travis and James stood, grabbing their plates, and telling Seth and John to swap places with them. I blinked, realizing that I would be better able to socialize between the two groups, rather than choose one or the other. I peek at Atlas, who smiles down at me and I realize he must have mind-linked Travis and James to set the swap up.

Smiling appreciatively, I sat beside Noira, and Atlas slid my lunch in front of me. I could feel Noira’s excitement and giddiness that Atlas had arranged it so I could sit beside her. The sheer level and openness of her emotions causes my own to grow, and I fight to maintain my demure composure. It takes a moment to push it down and I space out for a second to focus on it.

“Little Warrior,” Atlas breathes against my ear, so quiet I can only just hear him, drawing me back to my surroundings. “Remember, you are allowed to feel.” I blushed as I looked at him through my lashes, and he smiled, motioning with a small jerk of his chin toward Noira.

Peeking at her so as not to let her see, I watch as her broad smile fades significantly. Blaze is holding her hand and appears to be rubbing circles across the back of it with his thumb, much in the same way Atlas does to soothe and calm me. She is looking towards him, and they appear to be having some form of discussion via mind-link when Blaze glances towards me and then back to Noira.

Frowning, I look back to Atlas. “She is worried that you wanted to sit next to the ex-betas and that you are upset that you are sitting beside her. Or that she has upset you in some other way. Hiding your emotions and withdrawing into yourself when you are feeling things, you don’t need to do that here. We want to see your feelings, good and bad. If you are uncomfortable showing us how you feel, try to use words to tell us when you can. We want to help you and love you, but we need you to tell us how you are feeling and what you need, so we know how to.” He explains.

“Oh.” I gasped quietly, realizing the defensive measures from Red Stone that kept me alive may actually hurt my new family in Blood Moon. I begin tapping my fingers on my thumbs, trying to think of how to make it better.

“If you want to sit with her, tell her as much.” He gently suggested, taking hold of my hand and running circles over the back of my hand, much like Blaze was doing for Noira. I glance at him, and he gives me an encouraging smile, and I give him a tiny smile in return. I took a deep breath and turned back towards Noira, hoping I could repair any damage I’d done.

“I’m happy that I can sit next to you and still be able to talk with John and Seth,” I mumbled. “I am looking forward to getting to know you better, and I…” I paused for a moment. “I really hope that we will be good friends.” I finished with a whisper. I’ve never had a friend before, and I’ve never been allowed to express my own needs or wants much either. Doing so feels foreign and dangerous.

I look down and wait for her response, and I gasp loudly in shock as she pulls me into a tight hug. Atlas allows my hand to slip from his as she does. I can feel my body stiffen, and I focus on taking deep breaths. Noira rubs my back comfortingly and hugs me until I am able to squeeze her back. When she finally pulls back, we both give each other a huge smile and turn back towards our lunch.

I take a bite of everything on my plate and listen to the surrounding conversation. From the conversation between James, Seth, and John, it sounds as though they have already joined the pack and are now members of the Blood Moon pack.

“I must say I am surprised that the two of you are as well trained as you are, considering you came from Red Stone. They are not known for their skilled warriors, and yet the two of you are able to hold your own against some of our stronger pack warriors!” Travis says, looking at both men with a mixture of respect and curiosity. It’s Seth who replies.

“After losing the previous Luna, the Alpha no longer cared about anything other than punishing those responsible by… taking his anger out on their daughter. Training our warriors and other pack necessities took the back burner, and I was not given the required funding or men to properly train the men. In order to keep the pack safe, I worked to make myself better and taught my son how to fight as well. We were the pack’s main defence, and one of us was almost always on patrol to ensure that at least someone knew what to do.” John nodded in agreement, looking exhausted.

“Brady was no better than his father, Jarrod. In fact, I dare say he was considerably worse. He put no effort or funding into the warriors and preferred to spend his time preoccupied with other things.”

My hands tremble as he shoots a glance at me and looks away immediately. I set my fork down to keep it from clattering on my plate. The ‘other things’ that Brady was preoccupied with were me and the near-constant abuse and torture he and his Luna ensured I suffered through. I can feel Tala’s rage flare for a moment before she floods me with love and strength.