Drowned In His Desire

4

"Hey, sweetheart," I greeted her. I handed her a coffee mug and sat down by her. "You hungry?" I offered her one of the chunks. She smiled up at me and took it, looking like a little lost girl.

"Kinda hungry," she said. "I'm sorry, Canyon. I'm trespassing but I needed to see you. I'm sorry I just barged in here like this."

"Dara, you can come here any time you like," I said. "You can come every day if you want to."

She smiled up at me again gratefully. "Thanks, Canyon," she said. "I may do that."

We ate our bread in companionable silence. I set the plate on the deck when I was finished, and used my free hand to pull her over against me. She folded her legs up and snuggled in.

"You feeling any better?" I asked her.

"Sometimes," she said. "God, I miss her, Canyon. People that aren't twins don't know what it's like. We had this connection. It's like part of me is missing, like someone took away a piece of my soul."

"I can only imagine," I said. "I will tell you that it gets better. You never stop missing them. I miss Cybill every day. I was a mess for a while. I couldn't get my head around it. She was so full of the joy of life. She had all this energy and love and then it was gone. I finally figured it out. The sharp pain went away. I remember the good things now. I remember all the times we laughed or cried, all the adventures we had together, all the experiences we shared and they're happy memories. When you lose someone like that, it's easy to be angry. I was angry at life, angry with God, but I figured out that just hurt me. You'll get better."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she wasn't sobbing. We finished our coffee and I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. She stood up and held out her hand to me. I sat there for a minute and just enjoyed looking at her. She really was tiny. She couldn't have been much over five feet and I knew she didn't weigh much over a hundred pounds. She had a little pointed chin, beautiful lips, the cutest little nose imaginable and her eyes were huge. Her hair was blonde on the outside and very dark brown underneath. I wondered which her natural color was. It was the blonde, as it turned out. She added the brown. It was very long, fine and silky. She was slender, but curvy. There was no doubt she was all girl. She had tiny little breasts but they fit her perfectly. Her butt was just fantastic. She looked a question at me. "What?" she said.

"Damn, you're cute, Dara!" I said. I took her hand and let her pull me up.

"Thanks," she said, blushing adorably. "You're quite a hunk yourself, Canyon. Do you have a girlfriend?"

I laughed. "Well, no. I date some, but nothing serious. Are you applying for the position?"

She laughed. "I might. Maybe after I... I... "

I hugged her. "It's okay, kitten. I was just teasing you."

She took my hand and we walked down the trail through the trees. "I know. Thank you for being my friend, Canyon. I don't know what Mom and I would have done without you this last week. You've just been a rock. You didn't even know us and now it's like you're my best friend."

"It's an honor to be your friend," I told her. "You're the sweetest girl I know."

She stayed all day and we ate a late lunch. She left just before sundown and I was sorry to see her go. Julia called me Sunday afternoon and asked me if I would meet her for a cup of coffee. We met at the diner on Fourth Street. She came in and gave me a big hug. We sat and talked for about two hours. We had a piece of pie and drank gallons of coffee.

She told me about her life. She had the girls when she was twenty-three. She divorced her husband when they were four. She caught him in bed with the baby sitter and that was it. She sold insurance and had her own business. Three other agents worked for her and she was doing well. I told her I'd give her my business if I could get competitive rates and she promised to give me quotes. I could tell she wanted to ask me something, but she seemed to be reluctant. Finally, she got around to it.

"You've made quite an impression on my daughter," she said.

"Well, the way we met was pretty unusual," I said.

"I know, that's what I'm worried about," she hesitated a moment. "She's very vulnerable right now, Canyon. I know you're not trying to take advantage of her or anything, but just remember that, okay?"

"I will," I said. "I promise that I won't hurt her in any way. I was thinking about taking advantage of you, though."

She laughed. "Well, God knows I would let you, but thank you. You're her hero, Canyon. I'm so grateful to you and she needs you right now."

"Do you think I should kind of keep my distance, just put a little space between us?" I asked her.

"God, no," she said. "I didn't mean that at all. Please don't do that. I was just meaning... if you don't... hell, I don't know what I mean. I just don't want her to fall in love with you because you saved her life and then you not have any feelings for her like that. Do you think you could have feelings for her?"

"I like her a lot," I said. "She's very young, Jules. She's just a baby. I love everything I know about her but I hardly know either of you. Things like that take time for me."

"You're wrong," she said. "She's a woman. I understand what you're saying, but for some people, it doesn't take a long time. She has a bond with you. You were there for her when she desperately needed someone. That kind of thing doesn't happen often, and I don't think either of us knows how strong that bond is. Will you just go slow and see what happens?"

"I think I have some idea," I said. "I feel it, too. We've shared something deep and emotional and I feel like I've known her for a long time. You don't have to worry, Jules. I'm not a monster. I'd rather cut off my arm than hurt that girl. Do you trust me?"