The Perfect Balance

Chapter 10

It's one in the morning when I hear a light, almost inaudible knock on my door. I get up and open it to find Diego standing there dressed in all black. His mischievous, hazel eyes look to be more green in the dim lighting of my room. "Please don't tell me you're still studying," he whispers as if the idea of me studying genuinely causes him emotional and mental distress.

"No, I'm reading," I correct him and he shakes his head.

"That's not much better but I'm not sure what I expected," he responds before glancing down at my apparel. I'm wearing pink piglet pajama pants, which cut off right before my white bunny slippers, and a light pink t-shirt. On the face of my shirt is a pig, and as you may have guessed, a squiggly tail is displayed on the back. I try to refrain from turning around in order to avoid any potential teasing from Diego. "Cute pajamas."

I pucker out my lower lip as I look down at them. Deciding to change the subject, I look at him. "You travel by foot?" I ask him.

"What?" he replies, mimicking my quiet whisper. I look out into the hallway, noticing the light in my brothers' room flickering on. I quickly grab a handful of Diego's hoodie and pull him inside, maneuvering around his body to lightly close my door. When I turn around, I see him staring at me with wide eyes and raised brows as if asking why I just manhandled him into my bedroom. The phrasing of the thought made me blush and I shake my head, averting my gaze.

"One of my brothers was leaving his room," I whisper in explanation as footsteps sound from the hallway.

"Nice save," he responds.

"Like I was saying..." I trail. "You walk around right?"

"My motorcycle would be a little obvious, wouldn't it?" he asks as he steps further into my room. He scans my light blue walls, finds an interest in my book shelf, and approaches it.

"You never did tell me what you do when you're out there," I remind him.

"You never asked," he explains as he skims the titles. "You only ever asked where I go."

"The two coincide, correct?" I respond and he shrugs.

"More or less, but I don't answer questions that aren't directly asked," he answers as he tilts his head sideways to read the rest of the titles. "Gee, for a girl with no relationship experience, you sure do read a lot of romance books."

My face reddens and I stumble over my words before sighing. "They're interesting, okay?" I mumble. He looks at me, quietly laughs, and shakes his head. I refrain from telling him about my vow to not read any romance books until I spark up some romance in my own life. That'd probably make things awkward.

"Is it all you read?" he asks in bewilderment, "...you've got at least fifty books with the word 'Love' in the title."

"Are you just going to stand there and make fun of my preferred book genre?" I ask him.

"Are you suggesting we do something else?" he asks evocatively as he runs his fingers along the spines of my books. The tone of his voice makes me feel like there is a hidden meaning behind his words and the look in his eyes leads me to believe that there is.

"What are you implying?" I ask as my eyes flit across the room, averting eye contact immediately. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him grinning largely.

"Nothing. I was just asking if you had any other ideas on activities we could partake in," he responds. "Your mind strays to the gutter pretty fast."

My face is bright red now and I'm blinking rapidly. "I wasn't even referring to anything of that nature," I try to lie.

"Sure you weren't," he responds. "So what do you do when you're not studying?"

"I read and work," I tell him.

"Do you ever go out?" he asks and I'm silent. "When was the last time you went out?"

"Tuesday," I trail and he rolls his eyes.

"Not work related," he answers and I shrug.

"I don't know," I tell him. "Why does it matter?"

"You've got to do something that isn't so...innocent," he tells me as he grabs Tiger, my little stuffed bear, off my bed. He tosses it in the air a few times before hitting it like a volleyball, watching it land with a bounce on my pillow. "Tell me, have you ever gone to a party?"

"I'm going to assume you're not talking about a birthday party," I mutter as I nibble on my lip.

"You assume correctly," he replies. "Unless of course that birthday party was in the form of a house party."

"No..." I trail.

"Have you ever tasted alcohol?" he asks and I shake my head. "Okay, what have you done that would be frowned upon by most parents?"

I shrug. "I don't know...nothing, I guess."

He turns to look at me with a curious look on his face. "You're, like, the epitome of innocence."

"No I'm not," I retort, crossing my arms.

"You're literally standing there with braided pigtails, pink pajamas, and bunny slippers and you're trying to tell me you're not innocent?" he asks as he slumps on my bed. He sits with poor posture, allowing his hands to sink down on the blanket surrounding him. This is the first time a boy's ever been on my bed. When I don't respond, he continues talking. "Orion, have you ever hugged a guy?"

Now here's a question that's embarrassing. Hugs are practically nothing! You can hug almost anyone without it being too weird. Kissing is understandable- there has to be some sort of connection for a kiss to happen, but a hug is practically harmless. But the answer to this question is the same as the rest. "No," I say, attempting to sound confident but failing horribly. Even to my own ears, I sound pathetic. What kind of sixteen year old girl hasn't hugged a guy?

"Have you ever liked a guy?" he asks me, not at all shocked that I haven't hugged someone of the opposite gender before. He furrows his eyebrows for a moment before he tilts his head. "Wait...do you even like guys?"

"Yes," I answer. "And yes for your first question, too."

"So you've desired to do all of those things? You know, hugging, kissing..." he trails curiously.

I feel my face redden as I rub my hand against my arm. "Yeah, I guess," I mumble. "What's with all the personal questions?"

"I'm just trying to figure out how you're still functioning," he tells me. "Most girls your age want a relationship right?"

"Some girls, I guess..." I trail.

"Are you one of those girls?" he asks.

"I don't know..." I explain. "Boys aren't really interested in me. The only boy that may have been was intimidated by my brothers."

"Your brothers... I forgot about them. Are they one of the reasons you haven't dated? You know, aside from your extreme nerdiness?" he asks with a smirk and I want to scoff.

"Kind of," I sigh as I take a seat at my desk, preferring not to join him on my bed.

"What else then?" he asks. "It's not your looks. It's not really your brothers. Are you, like, crazy?"

"No," I tell him. "At least I don't think I am." I'm still a bit surprised at the fact that he sort-of complimented me. By saying that I'm not single because of my looks, was he insinuating that I'm not ugly? And by saying that I'm not ugly, did he discreetly call me pretty? Or am I overthinking things?

"So no guy has ever walked up to you and asked you out?" he inquires and I shake my head. "Huh...weird."

"I guess I never put myself out there. At least that's what my friend Diana says," I tell him and he nods as if understanding.

"Have you ever gotten in trouble with your parents?" he asks me.

"Yes," I answer and his ears perk up as he moves forward a bit, anticipating a good story.

"What for?" he asks and I know before the words leave my mouth that I'm going to disappoint him.

"I got a D- on a quiz," I inform him and his eyes become half lidded as he looks at me.

"Wow, you should've been arrested," he replies as he moves back, returning to his original position.

"Did you really expect anything that bad?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Do you ever want to do anything rebellious?" he inquires.

"Yes," I honestly admit.

"Then why haven't you?" he asks.

"I never have any opportunities," I tell him with a yawn.

"There are always opportunities. You've just go to go out and get them," he informs me with a grin as he stands up. "I'm going to let you sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Night, Orion."

"Night, Diego," I whisper as he turns off the light. His footfalls fall silent after he closes the door. I hear the faint sound of a door opening and closing and I know he is in his room. I get into bed, moving my book from it's place on my pillow. I stare at my ceiling, thinking about what exactly teenage rebellion consists of.

Kids going against their parents. But maybe it's more than that. Maybe it's something else. Kids trying to establish to their parents that they're people too? And that they are their own person and they should have some say over their own lives? Whatever it truly is, I'm not sure. All I know is that I've never truly given it a second thought until now. Diego's words made me think. I look at the ceiling as curiosity bubbles in my stomach. I try to imagine going against my parents. I've always been a good kid. I rarely got into trouble growing up.

All the people in the books I've read sneaked out of their houses and went to house parties and even did things that could land them in jail if caught. Those books always grab my attention because they're exciting. Does that mean my life is boring? Maybe. Who am I kidding? Of course it is. I only do two things - school and work. I'm basically like an adult. Am I wasting away my teenage years doing things I'll have to worry about later in life? Yes.

Suddenly I realize something. I've never done anything rebellious because I was never given a chance to do any of those things. I never had a reason to sneak out of my house. I was never in touch with anyone who knew about parties. I've never had an opportunity to do anything my parents would frown upon. But now that Diego's around, maybe I'll be given some of these opportunities. Well, now that I think about it, just earlier he offered me a chance to sneak out with him. Maybe he was joking but perhaps if I bring it up to him, he'll consider it... Maybe I just might take him up on that offer. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?