Forbidden Thoughts

Chapter 8

I continued resting against the wall and gradually put my dress and panties back on. I waited a few minutes after Sean to step out of the small closet. I didn't need anybody, specifically my brother, to see me drunkenly stumbling out, my cheeks washed, and my body trembling.

“That was not a full seven minutes,” one girl sitting in the circle giggled. “I knew she wouldn't be able to please Sean. He is too wild for sweet little Olivia.”

Those words halted my movements for a second, scared that one of them would slip and tell my brother about it Monday at school, but then I remembered they were all drunk.

Jason would never believe them over Sean and me.

I may not be happy with what just went down between Sean and me, but that doesn't mean I'd choose to cause issues between them. I never wish to come between their friendship.

Her words lit a fire inside my chest, and I had to press my lips shut not to make a stupid remark back to her. Sean wanted to touch me, and then because of my i***t brother, our spicy brief moment was ruined.

He left me inside that closet demanding more from him, and once his hand slid between my legs, and touched the most sensitive part of me, that crush I once had on Sean came back full force.

I guess it never really went away. I was just trying to make myself feel better. It's easier to believe you stopped wanting someone than to know they could never want you. Maybe coming here was a mistake. My initial plan to show up here and show to Sean that I wasn't so innocent failed.

Suddenly, a delicate palm folded around my arm, dragging me backward, almost forcing me to tumble over, either from the number of drinks or from these ridiculously uncomfortable heels.

“Girl, I have been looking for you,” Megan grumbled. “I have done had to ditch your brother twice. His pissed,” she wheezed, and turned her eyes around, searching like she was prepared for him.

“I don't care,” I groaned, glanced around until my eyes landed on Sean watching his smile turn into a smirk while talking to a pretty blonde that practically had her ass cheeks hanging out.

“Well I care,” she puffed and pulled me towards the alcohol bar, poured her a shot, downed the shot, and her annoyed, drunken, hazy eyes focused back on me. “He followed me around and kept after me in that demanding, bossy tone of his to tell him where you were,” she hissed and fixed another drink. Liquid dropped onto the counter in her furry.

“Oh god,” I sighed, lifted my hand, and covered my face in frustration. I'll never be able to have fun with my big, overprotective brother, nor will I be able to show Sean I'm more than just his best friend, baby sister. “What did you say?” I urged her and grabbed the shot she was holding out towards me.

“That I didn't know where you went,” she exclaimed and looked sad. “I'm sorry tonight was about you having fun, and he is messing that up for you.”

“I'm used to it,” I replied, my heart stiffening when I glanced out of the corners of my eyes and saw that slutty blonde now pushed up against Sean's chest.

How could he be so calm after what had just happened between us? I was having to squeeze my thighs together from my wet panties and his over there, hands on another girl not even ten minutes later.

“It's still not acceptable. Jason has no right to do this to you, not when he is out parting every weekend and f*****g around girls like he is fixing to become a damn priest,” she snapped, her words full of hatred as she talked about my big brother.

I downed the shot. The strong taste of vodka burned as it slid down my throat, causing me to cough. “We can still have fun,” I told her, grabbed her hand, led her through the sea of drunken standing around teenagers, and towards where a few others were dancing.

I will not let what happened mess with my entire plan. I know I wished Sean to notice the changed Olivia, but really, I more so wanted to prove it to myself. That little scene in the closet will not define my night out to have fun with my best friend.

Megan and I had been dancing for around five minutes when a cute guy that I wasn't even sure went to my school walked up towards me.

“Looking hot tonight, baby,” the boy grinned as his drunken eyes followed down my frame. “That dress is seriously f*****g,-” his words her cut-off by my brother.

“Where the f**k have you been?” Jason demanded, eyes blazing with fury as they roamed over my body, probably checking for injuries. “Are you okay? You don't look so good. Come on, I'll take you home,” he sighed, and tried to seize my arm.

“No. I'm staying,” I growled, tired of him treating me like I was a little kid. “I'm only one year younger than you Jason, I don't need to be f*****g babysat. You go have fun, drink, f**k a girl, I don't care, just go away,” I whispered and jerked my arm away before he could capture hold of it.

“Olivia, I'm only trying to protect you. The boys here are drunk and will seek to take advantage,-”

“So you think because I'm so sweet that I can't kick a drunk boy in his balls if he dared try to touch me?” I cried, tears welling up I'm my eyes as frustration and embarrassment rocked through my body. “Now is not the time for this discussion. You are embarrassing me, Jason. Just go have fun and leave me and Megan alone. Stop following her around asking about me. You're not my keeper.”

“I'm your brother,” he growled, crossed his arms, silently letting me know he was not going to be moving unless I forcefully moved him myself.

“Exactly, you are my older brother by one year. We should be having fun together, Jason, not you trying to keep me locked inside our home like I'm some kind of Disney princess. This is your senior year, and we have never once partied together because you have this misguided notion I can't take care of myself without you constantly breathing down my back. I'm seventeen years old, Jason, I'll be a senior next year. It's time you let go of me a little. I'll always be your little sister, and I will always need my brother, but I also just need to be your sister occasionally. I want us to have fun together before you leave the house for college,” I whispered sadly. “The relationship between you and me hasn't been the same for years, we are no longer close, and that's your fault. You pushed me away, you forced everyone to think of me as this sweet, innocent little girl that I'm not anymore. You are the reason I only have one friend,” I hissed, before quickly swinging my eyes towards a grinning Megan and added. “No offense, bestie, you are the best.”

“Oh girl, I know,” she smirked, shrugged her shoulders, raised her nails, examined them, and then aimed her gaze towards my brother. “You need to listen to what your sister is telling you before you lose her.”

Damn alcohol really makes someone appear brave. I would have never been able to tell my brother all of that if I were sober.

But I don't regret it.

He needed to understand what he was doing to me and how his actions were causing me to feel about myself.

My brother, never the one for emotional discussions, narrowed his eyes on Megan and then onto me. “ Fine. Just do not leave with any motherfucker or ill hurt them and that will be your fault,” he snarled before storming off, his shoulder smashed into another boy who was talking to a girl, making his drink spill on her dress.

“What the hell, Jason?” the girl shrieked and tried to wipe aside the wetness. “You ruined my dress.”

“It's f*****g ugly anyway,” he growled and continued walking out of the room.

“Not cool, bro,” the dude shouted as he helped the girl with her now alcohol soaked dress.

“He is such an asshole," Megan mumbled as she watched Jason angrily walk away from us.

That could have gone a lot worse, so I'll take it.

At least I was free to have fun for the rest of the night, as long as Sean didn't do what he does best, be my brother's annoying sidekick and decide he needed to watch over me again.

The pulse between my legs hoped he did.