Better Days Ahead (BDA Series Book 1)

Chapter 3....Hell Is Better Than My Life

I woke up feeling pains all over my body and my cheeks hurt like crazy but most of all I was very hungry I was starving completely famished, the pain of the beating I received earlier covered me like a blanket my whole body hurts but at least the pain is dull.

I walked quietly into the kitchen looking around to see if he was here, but I did not see him around the kitchen side and the living room I guess he must still be in his bedroom.

The coast was clear, I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself, I also took some painkillers and made eight slices because I was really hungry and I do not know when I'll eat, if he gets even a whiff that I ate he will not stop beating me even through the night.

I ate quickly and started cooking dinner for him the last time I made dinner late he locked me in the room without food or water and he did not let me out for a week, how I'm not dead yet still remains a puzzle to me.

He would often come inside the room during that one week to beat me and he will force himself on me, he would further hurt me.

I decided to make macaroni and cheese with roasted chicken wings,

I rummaged through the drawers and brought out a pot, a spatula and all the ingredients I needed to prepare the food, my mom taught me how to cook just months before she died.

When I was twelve years old, before she passed on she made sure that I was always in the kitchen with her and helping her out. Sometimes she would even ask me to cook little things like spaghetti and meatballs, noodles, rice and beans with tomato sauce.

I made sure to keep memories about her and my father, my biological father close to me I love both of them so much but they both left me in this world with this man to hurt me and do to me as he pleases.

*flashback*

8 years ago

"Mom, please take me to the park." I begged giving her my best puppy eyes

"No!" She immediately declined and a frown found its way on my face and my dad could not bear to see me like that because I was his little princess, mom would get jealous when ever dad calls me that.

"Come on my little princess, let's go to the park." Dad said, he volunteered to take me to the park.

"Honey how many times have I told you not to call her that, if she is your princess then what am I?" Mom asked glowering.

"My dear lovely wife, you are my Queen." She immediately smiled at that.

"Now start going shoo." She said with a hand gesture.

"Are you chasing us?" My dad asked with a raised brow.

"Yes, besides if you do not leave now, you will go there late and you will have little to nothing time to spend there." She said with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Okay, sure, bye dear." Dad said with a wave.

"Bye." She then blew a kiss to us.

Just before we left I decided to ask her one last thing.

"Why did you say no to taking me to the park?" I asked ever so innocently.

"Because my little Angel, I have some work that I would like to finish and also I have to make dinner." She said smiling down at me and I smiled back.

I nodded my head and headed out with my father, I was not surprised my mom would rather work than spend time with me, at least not anymore, mom loved her work and took it very seriously a little too serious. When we got to the park, I saw a lot of people walking their puppies, a lot of them were very cute.

I saw a cotton candy stand and immediately ran to it.

"Dad I want one!!" I yelled as I rushed towards it.

"Okay princess." He chased after me.

He got me the strawberry flavored one, I took it from him and started munching on it, dad and I went for walks while carrying me over his shoulders, we giggled and laughed and had a nice time.

We got home later than we were supposed to but mom was so engrossed in her work to even comment on it, dad went to the kitchen and found some food in the oven rice and tomatoes sauce with a side of deep fried chicken.

'She really did make dinner' I thought.

*end of flashback*.

My dad was a very handsome man, very tall with a good physique, he had jet black hair and black eyes like mine, I do not look a lot like my father. I only took his height, the rest of my physical appearance from my mom, my dad was not that old he was around thirty nine then now he would have been forty eight, if he was still alive, I have so many lovely memories with him.

I secretly hid pictures of my mom and dad, because I do not want to ever forget what they looked like, once I start debating with my self on what they looked like I just go and take a really long and good look at their picture.

I kept the picture safe in my room in a box under my bed. I do not want my step father to accidentally find it because if he does he will not spare me, he will just go ahead and kill me.

I am sure he will make my death slow and extremely painful completely putting me out of my misery, where I will then go to hell for being the cause of my mother's death I do not really care if I go to hell because right now hell is better than my life, the so called life that I am presently living.

Once I reach the age of eighteen, when I become an adult I will flee from this house and live my life quietly somewhere else, I just have to bear this torture for only two more years.

I really hope I can pull it off, I have never tried to escape, if I do, 'where will I go?' I will just end up in foster care and I do not know which is worse.

I will endure this for the reminder of time I have then I will flee, I wonder why all this is happening to me is this the cruel and ill fate destiny has installed for me?

I really hope not because I will not give up, I am not weak even though I am indeed weak physically I will still fight till my last breath that is once I attain the age of adulthood of course or if I see a very nice family that will treat me like their own I would really love that.

I don't think I will ever be able to live a normal life, what if my foster family do what my so-called step father is doing to me? What will happen then? No!! I can not have a foster family.

I will run away only when I reach the age of adulthood I can not go through this all over again, I finished making dinner the time was already 7:00 pm and he is not back yet. I ate quickly out of the food I made, I guessed today is my Lucky day, I finished and went to my room, closed the door behind me and I decided to do my homework about thirty minutes later, some of the worst things happened to me.

My room door was thrown open, and in came my step father, he unzipped his belt and I knew what came next, I quietly cleared my book and un-dress, willingly giving in to him.

The last time I refused him, he was strangling me and was beating me all at once, he took off his boxers and did as he pleased. I did not want him to have the pleasure of hearing me cry, I am not weak.

I muffled my voice and tried to cry as silently as I could, while he used me like a rag, a piece of cloth used and thrown away, and I know that even after this what will come next will even be worst. He would stick stuffs inside me and use harmful s*x toys on me, it always hurt every time and I never failed to bleed, whenever I do bleed he will use the whip he got specially for me to whip me, he gives me twenty lashes for bleeding.

I would cry out, beg and plead with him but he never listens to me instead he will beat me even more. After he was done with me.

He gave me another slap before he picked his clothes from the floor and he just left me there naked and afraid, bleeding and battered like a worthless animal.

I crawled to the bathroom and I washed myself as much as I could, I wobbled to my closet and grab my tattered worn out turquoise nightgown and went to bed, hoping there will be better days ahead by now I have lots of marks and scars the whip left on my fragile skin.

Edited.