Circumstances of You & Me ✔

6 | A.S.A.P

A Koel is chirping outside somewhere, waking the lazy humans with its melody. Sunrise is touching my face as I gaze through the window with heavy lids, and I squint when its brightness hits my eyes. I take a deep breath, opening my eyes again. My eyes rove over the trees in search of that Koel. I see it on a branch veiled by leaves, I watch it raise its tone from steady to high pitch like it is calling for its mate to come faster. I wish I am still an 8 year old; in which I could mock it with Khu khu tone. A little smile stretches at corner of my lips but ceases immediately when a noise reaches my ears.

A noise which makes me want to run away. Not the horrific noise but a snuffle from Kitchen; where Mom is preparing something. I sigh sadly and turn away from the window.

One day. In one day, in matter of hours my life has changed from felicity to gloomy. I scan my dull room; it is perfect silence in the house; the house which was fully decorated with blooming happiness of flowers and glorious lights a day ago. But there is nothing now except ear piercing silence.

I resume packing my things, arranging my bangles and earrings in jewelry box. I am not in a good state, neither my Mom is. I was hurt when she said grimly to get out of her house yesterday. She, herself packed my things furiously when we got home from the hospital. She doesn't wanted me to stay in this house for a minute. I cried and begged her not to behave like that but all went in vain. I cried for whole night, I knew she cried too. Aadi consoled her that everything would be fine soon but she was in no condition to listen to us. We were not talking, whole night has passed without a word with her. Dad was already in a shock and I didn't want to hurt him more so we refused to apprise about my status yesterday.

Later, my uncle revealed the bitter truth. I wanted to see my Dad right now but he doesn't want to see me. I thought they would be relieved knowing that I am married now but after looking at Mom, I realized I had done a great-grand biggest mistake of my life which can't be undone. My eyes are burning with incoming tears, they doesn't want my financial support too but I can’t leave them like this. Wish I has Control Z for life too.

Nayan paid the hospital bill and cleared all my dues yesterday. He is going to pick up me at 10.30 am today; I glance at clock, it’s few minutes to 8.00 am now. I don't want to go with him but I need to go somewhere, anywhere, leaving everyone because I need to clear my head which is full of s**t. So I decided to convince my Mom that I loved Nayan. At least they would be happy that I married the man I love.

I'm twitching my hands as I stand at threshold of kitchen. I’m nervous, I’m afraid to talk to her but I should speak. Mom’s back is to me and she is preparing tea. She is wearing an old cotton saree with her hair up in a bun. A sniffle escapes from her and my stomach is dropping every time listening to that.

"Mom," I call with hush tone, she didn't respond so I try again, "Mom? I'm.. I'm sorry for not telling you the truth," I start.

"Stop it, Aastha." I jerk when she shouts, turning to me. Her eyes are swelled just like mine. She looks so old in this saree; she is a beautiful woman and I can't see her like this. She clears her eyes, her voice shakes when she starts speaking again, "I don't… want to listen to you, do you know how our neighbors are talking about our family?" she asks, tears are spilling from her eyes. Oh no.

"Mom, please don't cry..." I touch her shoulder but she shoves my hand away. My tears matches hers, I can't bear if she is behaving like this.

"What if something happened to your Dad yesterday? Huh? I..I can't imagine that Aastha..and.. I never expected that rebel move from you, why did you do that? You have disappointed us." I touch her hand again, trying to convince her.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I can't bear if anything happens to Dad but... Nayan... he loved me in past. We had a fight and then I met Sandeep. You know how he was, he was a good man so I bought him to you, Mom..." Lie.. all are lies.. but I continue anyway, "I never thought Nayan would show up like that but Nayan was a good man too.."

"Shut up!" Mom yells. A shiver went through my spine, looking at her outburst and I take a step back.

"What happened?" Aadi asks coming to kitchen.

"See her, Aadi, see her! How your sister is talking about men! She loved a man and they got in fight so she went after another man and now she married the same man! It’s sickening me listening to her!” mom shouts and slightly sways. Aadi is on her side the next second.

"Akka! Go inside, this is not the right time to discuss anything. Just go." Aadi orders me holding Mom to stand properly. A sob bubbles from my throat. I'm crying for my Mom, for my Dad, for myself.

"Take me to Dad." Mom sobs, gripping Aadi. They are walking outside leaving me all alone in my house. Not my house anymore. My chin is trembling and tears are flowing out freely. I look around our small kitchen, something is shining to my blurry eyes. I clear my eyes to look at the knife on counter.

Am I that weak to end my life? I shake my head, No, I'm always a fighter.

I clear my face and walk out of kitchen. Mom won't listen to me now, I should give her time. I nod to myself that everything will be alright and walk to front door to lock it. I need to stay strong. I grab all my things from wardrobe, my clothes, my accessories, my works, my footwear and my books and start packing everything. All the struggles I have gone through are now poking in my head now. Please stop! I scream inside but those memories won’t stop roaming in my head.

I exhale, breaking down into sobs. I was not even in a state to pay my monthly loan when my business gradually came to a loss. So I have no choice but to sell it to someone. I cried hard that day and was in dire need of a job to pay my monthly debits. Everything went in vain for so many days but finally one day, God has shown mercy on me by showing me Karuna's Boutique.

Karuna was a stranger to me, I have shown her my works and explained my problems. She got very impressed by my works and hired me right way as a Co-Designer. I was very happy and couldn’t express it, instead I cried and hugged her. Her business was so good after that and I was happy by saving money but it lasted only for seven months. Things happened. Not things, Sandeep happened. I didn’t have any interest in love, marriage, new responsibilities etc. but I was already 26. My family started prompting me about marriage and that’s when he came to my life. I finally thought I would get some help from him.

But now, my whole plans are thrown away into trash can by this man called An Arrogant Asshole, Nayan. A growl rose from my throat thinking about him. I stop arranging my books in bag when realize that I won’t be here when Mom comes back. I don't want them to hate me, I will come back soon in few days. I should make them understand so I take a pen and paper and start writing a Note to my Dad.

Again, I lied in the letter that I am in love with Nayan that he is a good man blah blah and will take care of me, blah blah. I also write that Sandeep is not the person whom we thought he is. I mentioned that Nayan doesn't have any problem with me, working again. I write some more lies assuring them that everything will be fine.

I'm about to sign my name when I remember something and start writing P.S.

Dad, you were the one raised me not our neighbors. They always want something to talk about, now they are talking about me. They will eventually go for another topic in few days. I don't care about them, Dad. I know, it’s not easy to digest what I did but please forgive me. I will be happy and you should be too.

I'm sorry for hurting you and mom.

Saraswathi.

I stare at my name, it’s not just Saraswathi now; I'm Mrs. Aastha Saraswathi Anand? Gosh, I hate it. It's like ASAP, Possible is missing though. Oh. I forgot, his last name starts with P, so it is ASAP then. I sigh, folding the note and keep it on coffee table in living room.

I frown when a thought strikes my mind, I’m going to transfer Aadi's fee to his account for every three months. But, his fees is about to pay by Nayan?

What? Nayan is going to pay Aadi's fee? Why would he Pay?

He put a stop to my marriage so he compensated for that and paid hospital bill too. Then why did I ask more? Because I thought he is rich? I stop folding my clothes when I realize that I sounded like money digger. Oh my God, am I?!

I don't want his money! But… I need money. I'm going to be his wife for two years so he is paying for that? s**t.

I'm feeling like a hooker! No! I'm not a hooker!

If not because of him, I would have been in Sandeep's house by now. Again my thoughts drifted to yesterday’s scene. How dare him! I won’t show any mercy, he thinks this is fun to play with emotions? He needs to pay for this! He agreed to pay too so I don't have to feel like this! I have to stop feeling guilty.

Doorbell rings making me jump, God, he is here already? Do I need to invite him inside? Wait, why am I giving respect to him? I shouldn't. So with Chin up and with a murderous look on my face I open the door and breathe in relief.

"Thanks for coming, Sunny."

He exhales, coming inside, "You are leaving now?" I nod moving aside to let him in. He stares at my luggage in living room and then takes a seat on couch. I'm still standing and waiting for him to say something.

"What is he like?" I look at him in confusion. "Your so called husband, Mr. Nayan Anand." he clarifies sarcastically.

"Don't make that voice with me, Sunny." I warn.

"How can you live with him, Saru?" he demands standing up.

I'm about to answer him but stop when I hear my mobile's ringtone from bedroom and there is a car halting noise outside at the same time. We both look at open window when a black Benz stops outside my house gate. So he is here. My phone starts ringing again. Can't he come atleast to my front door? Like he heard my thoughts, the car door opens and he removes his goggles and look at my house with distaste. He closes his car door with a thud and he is coming to the gate now.

"Rich bastard," Mutters Sunny beside me.

I'm going with him now? I'm leaving my house now? This is where I grow up, my heart feels heavy with sadness. I want to see my parents once before I leave, I want them to be happy. But how?

Nayan knocks on our front door and our gazes collide. His face is neutral so mine is, he is still standing outside. I clench my jaw, I don't want to invite him inside but I resist that and gesture him to come in.

"No thanks, I will wait outside."

And just like that he is walking to his car. Arrogant A-hole! He doesn't want to step into our middle class house! I want to slap him! Slashing him with an imaginary sword, I turn away to get my handbag.

Sunny helps me by carrying my bags outside. He sets them beside his car, Nayan is leaning on hood and checking his mobile. Can't he give a hand to carry my luggage? I clear my throat in order to make him look up. He did and smirked. I turn away. Can't he get it that he needs to open his car's trunk? He folds his arms and starts chuckling.

"You have to ask want you want, darling." He states. I want to kick him.

"She needs to put her luggage inside, moron. Can't you get it?" Sunny snaps at him.

Nayan expression changes to anger immediately. He turns to Sunny sharply, "You. If you say one word about me, I will see your end!" I panic when he warns so seriously to my cousin.

"Like hell I will let you." I say with same expression as him. We glare at each other for few seconds, and then he let the trunk open.

"You are going with a man like him?!" Sunny hisses at me while putting luggage in.

"Stop it, Sunny." I say, looking around my neighborhood. My neighbor from front house is already watching this drama. s**t. I want to kill her.

"All are watching, Sunny. Don't make that face, I will be fine. You are coming to Hyderabad in few days, right? You will be there for me, okay? Don't worry about me. Take care of my parents for few days." I plea him with tears in my eyes.

“You don’t have to say that.” He says seriously like he is controlling his anger. I hug him quickly and move away.

"Take care." He whispers.

I nod and glance at my house once. My home. My eyes are starting to burn again from crying. I close my eyes tightly to stop those and look at Nayan. He is glaring at a door where our neighbor stood few minutes ago.

I open the passenger door and sit inside. I'm ready to go, I wave at Sunny slightly. I can see the pain in his eyes, he quickly clears a tear which has escaped. It's hard for me to see a grown up man cry like that. Aadi is probably crying too. I want to see him once and I’m worried about my Dad too. But they don't want to see me, more tears spill out of my eyes. Every woman in this world cries after marriage. She cries happily because she trusts the man she is married to and goes with him. I thought I would cry with happiness but I didn't expect that I would cry with pain.

I'm sobbing in my hands when car stops suddenly, jerking me to front. I turn to Nayan, he is scowling at road in front and then I realize that he has halted infront of hospital. He brought me to hospital? I cry even more, clearing my eyes and open the car door and run inside like someone is chasing me.