The unspoken words

The deepest sorrow

    What weighs the most on the soul is always the hardest to throw out. Because the heavy stone is difficult to move from one place to another. By lifting the stone, it creates extra weight and instead of helping you, its transfer prevents you. Weight - the word itself says, is heavy and can not be thrown out. That is why it has existed in our soul for so long, we cannot throw it out.

    She could always find an excuse. To justify him in every situation and to take him out of every black hole in which he would fall. She has always been the strong point. Each of his mistakes was a perfect signpost for her. A perfect sign like the STOP sign - he stands on the street and screams through his red color, telling her to stop. But she did not press the brake, but continued to drive into the abyss. And that journey was endless. From every look she directed at him, there was an enormous love, but also uncertainty and agony that flowed through her heart like a lost and scared deer. She knew his eyes would not return the same way, but she still hoped, even though she knew it was a false hope. She knew that his eyes would never look at her with the kindness with which she looked at him. His hand will never caress her hair. He will never be able to serve as a shoulder to cry on, as a place where there will always be a warm hug. However, she did not want to give up the last shred of hope. She wanted to stay and glow in it. To burn like a spark, hoping that one day it will turn into fire. But there are two kinds of fire-life-giving, that is, one that inspires life in things, and destructive-one that destroys things. It was more likely that the spark would turn into a destructive fire that would ignite everything around it with its destructive power. She did not want to open her heart to him. She did not want to be introduced to her greatest weakness, and his greatest weapon - her love. Possessing that weapon, he would have one of the strongest means of fighting others.

But he did not know, nor could he know. Because she  have always tried to stay unobtrusive, unnoticeable, and yes, she succeeded. That is why he did not notice her. That is why he treated her the same as the others. He did not pay much attention to her. There was no reason for him to put her on a pedestal in front of everyone else, and she knew it. But she still lived under the illusion that she still meant something to him. And yes, she was right. It meant the same to him as the other people in the room. Equally, and maybe less. But not as much as he meant to her.

    She laughed at all his jokes, even when they were not funny. At his every word. She enjoyed his presence. She could not live without his presence, and he could live with her absence. She could not help but imagine his eyes before falling asleep, and he could not even think of hers. And so they are in a circle .... 

The smile you show on your face as you fall apart from the inside is the strongest smile. That way you can reject all those questions that you should and do not want to answer because you do not want to face the answer. Because that answer is something you would never want to hear.