I WANT YOU BACK

Chapter 3

HAZEL

Six months of being married to Zaide went by in a flash. I never thought I’d be able to endure it for this long.

“ You’re zoning out again, Hazel,” Millie snapped her fingers in front of my eyes.

“ I’m sorry. I just have something on my mind,” I sighed.

“ I’m always happy to listen, you know?” She said in a soft voice as she placed a chess piece.

“ I know but now that I think about it, you haven’t been working? Don’t tell me Zaide has stopped you from working?” I snickered.

“ You’re pretty happy about that. As much as I hate to admit it, whatever you’re thinking is what happened,” she sighed.

“ He’s such a pain in the neck,” she slumped into her chair with a groan.

“ It’s about time you stopped working. It’s alright to feel comfortable with spending his money,” I said, placing my own chess piece.

“ I wish I’d get used to it but often times, I just feel like no matter what, I don’t deserve it. It’s hard accepting things from him when I’m simply a maid’s daughter. Wouldn’t you have done the same in my situation?” She looked at me before making another move.

“ I can’t believe I lost… again at that,” I bent my head and clutched my hair.

“ You’re really terrible at chess, aren’t you?” She sighed. This was the tenth game and I doubt there’s anything I’ve learnt from failing again and again.

“ Well, chess isn’t my forte,” I rested my chin on my hand. “ My sister used to play chess really well though. She had tried to teach me a number of times but I just wasn’t skilled in it,” I smiled as I reminisced.

“ You two seemed to be rather close. I thought you’d hate her, honestly,” Millie was always honest, it was the one thing I liked about her.

“ Judging from your words, I’m guessing you already know a thing or two about Scarlett,”

“ Yes, so I’m curious as to why I can’t sense even a bit of sarcasm in your statement from a moment ago. You had every reason not to like her,” she kept her eyes fixed on the chessboard as if analyzing other possible attacks.

“ She was good at everything and I’d be lying to say I didn’t envy that about her. She was the perfect daughter, having the best grades, being unbeatable at sports, elegant, nice, composed, she even played both the piano and violin like a pro,” my face saddened as I spoke. “ She could be rightly defined as the epitome of perfection and beauty,” I summarized.

“ But never once did I hate her. I actually loved her more than anyone and anything,” I held on to my chest as I replayed everything that we once shared.

“ And this is exactly what I don’t get. You must have been compared to her a lot as a kid and you must have strived to surpass her, yet you loved her? It’s not really making much sense to me,” she scratched her head.

“ My parents always looked at her with warmth in their eyes. I was even told that my mom was so obsessed with my sister that after I was born, she hired a nanny to take care of me so she’d have time to attend to my sister,” I smiled in pain. “ Right from the very beginning, I had been like a third wheel in my own family and even as a young child, I barely spent any time with my parents and hardly saw them when it wasn’t dinner. If I wanted to catch a glimpse of them outside dinner, it would be when they are spending time with my sister,” I narrated.

“ I can only imagine what you passed through. So that means you were technically raised by maids as well?” She asked rhetorically and I still chose to nod my head. “ You and Zaide are similar then,” she mumbled.

“ Though I wished my parents would love me the way they loved Scarlett, I never once blamed her for receiving their undiluted love. Not to mention that she was the sweetest person to me,” I smiled remembering how she would protect me and sneak snacks into my room whenever I was placed on a diet. “ As crazy as this might sound, I looked up to her. She was my role model and someone I wanted to be like even if I knew it was just my wishful thinking so I followed her path and did everything she did,” I laughed at how stupid that was now, not that I regretted it.

“ I heard from Zaide’s secretary that you were quite the model student,” she knew a lot more than I thought.

“ While Scarlett shone with talent, I reached whatever mock achievements with hard work,” I slapped my hand across my face. “ I would play the piano for several hours a day till my hands hurt bad just so I could perfect a piece. I trained everyday just so I’d be the best on my team in sports but no matter what I did, it was just never enough,” I clenched my fists.

“ Maybe you were just forcing yourself to be who you’re not to please your parents. It wasn’t like you weren’t good enough, you simply were never appreciated by your parents,” she said.

“ Never once have I ever felt that anything was mine and I don’t think I’d ever get to experience that but I’m glad at least that I was able to share it with you,” a tear slipped from my eyes as I smiled at her.

“ Hazel…”

“ Damn, I can’t believe I cried,” I wiped my tears, embarrassed.

“ Is that why you want me not to feel that way?” She muttered.

“ Huh?”

“ Is that why you want me not to feel guilty for spending Zaide’s money? It’s not necessarily about the money, is it?” Looks like she finally understood.

“ You’re sharp,” I smiled. “ You might feel you don’t deserve it, I felt the same way about my sister being good to me but nothing beats having people who genuinely love and care for you. Even with everything I’ve endured by marrying your brother and the guilt I feel towards my sister, I still wouldn’t hesitate to hold her hand if she came back and reached out to me,” I let out a sigh. “ Guilt shouldn’t hold you back from feeling loved and accepted,” I concluded before getting to my feet.

Her eyes were fixed on me as I stood up like she had seen things in new light.

“ Thank you, Hazel,” she appreciated and turning back, my eyes widened in shock. This was the first time I had seen her smile. “ I really can’t thank you enough.”

“ Y-You’re welcome,” I stuttered.

“ Anyway, let’s head down to the kitchen. I’m feeling famished,” I patted my stomach.

“ That reminds me, why are you at home? Shouldn’t you be at work?” She interrogated me as she followed me from behind.

“ About that…” I laughed awkwardly, scratching my head.

Getting to the main living room, we bumped into the butler.

“ Just who I was looking for,” Butler Aizan smiled, holding some shopping bags in his hands.

“ Me?” I placed a hand on my chest confused as to why he was staring at me and not Millie.

“ Yes, Ma’am. You have a package from Sir Zaide,” he handed me everything in his hand. I got something from Zaide? What in the world was going on?