Consumed By Fire

Stepping Into The Flames

After giving Jake my number, I find it hard to distract myself from thinking of if he will actually use it or not. A couple of days go by and he doesn't text or call but we had already had plans to meet up tonight. Well, he let me know he would be working and I was going to steal as much time as I could with him. I got to The Lounge around 9:00 and found my usual table by the wall. I ordered a drink and sat back down when I saw Jared walk in. He was at the booth preparing to get the karaoke started for the night. He went to the bar to grab a drink and stopped by my table. "Taylor, right?, How are you? Are you going to sing tonight?", Jared asks. "Hi Jared. I'm not sure, I may be heading home in a few. So, where's your brother?", I try to sound nonchalant. "I really don't know. He called me up tonight and said he had to quit. Something about how he is drinking too much working up here.", he replied. My heart sank. So, not only did he not call or text me, he will not be working here anymore. "Oh, okay. I am going to hang out for a few more minutes and I'll let you know if I decide to sing.", I tell him.

I check the time and it is now just after 10:00. I am about to head home when I see Jake come through the back door with that smile I can't get out of my head. Wait, he has a woman with him... But I thought... No, you cannot get mad , Taylor. You are married! Is it shitty that he brought another woman here knowing that you were going to be here after he made it seem like he is interested? Yes, but he has every right because you are not really available now, are you?? How are you jealous right now, he is not yours! I am pulled from my thoughts when Jake walks directly up to me and says, "Can we sit with you?". "Sure, why not?", I respond. Then Jake proceeds to press his forehead to mine and asks, "Are you coming back tomorrow?". I began shaking my head no while he was nodding his head yes causing our noses to rub. What is happening? He comes in here with someone else and then flirts so openly... I'm so confused right now. Maybe he does only want to be friends and he is just super flirty. I mean, I know that I didn't go out for years but is all of this a common way to become friends with people these days? Oh God, please tell me I am not meeting another couple of swingers... "Oh this is Hazel, Hazel this is Taylor.", Jake introduces and leaves it at that. Hazel took the seat nearest the wall with Jake pulling his stool as close a he could to me leaned in close and asked if I wanted a drink. Okay, I know I'm not hallucinating, there is someone else at this table that walked in with him but he is acting as if she is not even there at the moment. Seriously, what the f**k is going on? I leaned over and asked quietly, "Who is ole girl?". "She's my ex-wife. She is going through a tough time right now and I thought she could use a night out.", he says as if that is the most normal thing in the world. So, not swingers. "Oh, okay. What's up with that drink?", I say smiling. Jake comes back from the bar with a couple of beers and a couple of shots, jello shots to be spcific. They were called "Suck n Blow". The jello shot was in a tube designed for one person to suck and one person to blow. "Looked kind of fun.", Jake said as he saw me looking at the shots. "I'm game. So, do you want me to suck or blow?", I ask looking at him through my lashes. "Mmmmm, definitely suck.", he replied huskily. I knew he wanted me to suck on more than just that shot. I shouldn't have said that. I can't take that look he's giving me now. He looks like he wants to devour me right here, right now and I really wish I could let him. I have to break this tension before I start making out with him in front of everyone. I look over at Hazel who seems to be passed out on the table. "Is she okay?", I ask Jake. "She's fine, she's just had a little too much.", he says. "She looked pretty gone already when you walked in. You have to be pretty messed up to sleep in a place this loud.", I observe. My curiosity get the better of me, "Can I you something?". "Sure, you can ask me anything.", he replied. Making eye contact with Jake I ask, "Was I too forward in giving you my number?" "No, not at all. I have been busy with Hazel showing up out of the blue. She's having a tough time and just left an abusive relationship.", he says. "I'm glad to hear that wasn't too forward of me. I was wondering if you were applying that three day rule guys have about calling or something." We fell back into normal easy conversation and what songs we would sing next. We were pretty cozy at the table when Clyde walked in with a group of guys I didn't recognize. Oh damn, I was having so much fun too. I guess I need to go and speak to Clyde. Ugh, FML, FML!

I make my way over to Clyde, "Hi Clyde." "Taylor", he gives me a look. "What?", I question. "You were awful cozy with your new friend over there.", he accuses. "Umm, do you not see the chick passed out on the table? She is here with him.", I defend. "We were looking through music on our phones trying to pick songs to sing.", I say rolling my eyes. I hate lying but technically everything I said was true if not a little out of context. "Whatever, come over here and meet these guys I brought over from Depot Club.", he gently tugs me toward three men and presents me. "This is my wife, Taylor. I told you guys you would meet her here.", he continues the introductions but I am not listening. I just catch something about being from Texas. I just want to go back over to sit with Jake. When he is done, "Nice to meet you. How do y'all like it here?", I ask only half paying attention to the answers. After a couple of minutes of meaningless small talk I look at Clyde and ask quietly, "Is that all?" "That's all, you just watch yourself, you hear me?", he says scowling. Watch myself, huh? Was that some kind of threat? Well, watch this... I made my way to the table with Jake, who was now facing away from the table with his legs spread apart. I stood in front of him and then turned around backing myself between his thighs and resting my elbows on his knees. Jake did not even flinch at my action and he made no attempt to move me and damn if that doesn't turn me on. I can tell that he is willing to take this as far as I want to go. During the next break, a slow song starts playing and Jake asks me to dance. As we are swaying to the music he looks over to his left shoulder, where he's missing an arm, and says, "This doesn't bother you at all?" "No, not at all. Why would it bother me?", I say. "It bothers some people.", He says looking me in the eye. "Well, some people suck. When I look at you, I only see you.", I say honestly. As the song ends, I notice that Addy has arrived.

Making my way to the bar, I stand next to Addy, "You got off early tonight, huh?". "We had like six customers so Cam called it a night.", she answered. "So, I noticed you were dancing with Jake, again.", she says with a questioning look. I return her look, "I was... he's a nice guy. We're friends." "I am not judging you, baby girl. I just think you should be careful.", Addy says sounding concerned. I assured her that everything was fine and that I would not do anything crazy. Then I notice that Jake is walking through the crowd, to make his way back to the table. Someone has just pulled Addy's attention away from me and I lock eyes with Jake as he approaches. Both of us smiling, as he walks by he leans over and pecks my lips with his. Surprised, I jerk back and look around. It didn't seem that anyone was paying attention. "What are you doing?", I mouth at him. "I can do much better than that." he says as he walks away. I continue to stand there with Addy chatting and she gives no indication that she saw the lip contact between Jake and I. Jake makes his way over with Hazel in tow. "I need to get her home.", he says. "Oh, hold on, I will walk you out.", I say with a smile. I feel Addy grab my arm, "Taylor, I think you should stay here." "It's fine, Addy. I am just walking my friends out to the car. I'll be right back, I promise.", I say giggling. "No Taylor, you really should stay here with me. I just don't think it is a good idea.", her eyes are pleading that I stay. "Okay, fine. I'll stay. Goodnight, Jake. I will tak to you later. Be safe.", I pout. Addy is acting weird. So now, I'm pretty sure that she did see Jake kiss me. Why else would she act that way. "It was nice to meet you, Hazel.", I say as they head for the back door. It's probably a good thing that Addy stopped me. I had planned on walking them out to see how much better he could do. Addy gives me a knowing look and nothing more is said about it.

After Jake and Hazel left, I remained at the bar with Addy and eventually Clyde and the guys that he brought in make their way over to us. The guys start making small talk with me while Clyde is distracted and talking to someone else. One of the guys ask me if I want to dance and I agree. As we are dancing he begins to question me about Clyde. "So, why would he not be out with you?", he asks with a creased brow. "He's used to do things on his own while I am at home.", I answer honestly. "Well, I don't get it. I don't think I would let a woman like you out of my sight.", he says in a flirty tone. Here we go again... "Aren't you a smooth talker?", I say in a bored tone. "Not really, I'm just being honest and was a little surprised that he had no objections when I asked if he minded if I dance with you. Here take my card and call me if you decide you want better. I'll be in town for another few months.", he says placing his business card in my hand. "I won't call. I don't know what you think you can get from me but I know your type. The guys that work out of town for months at a time... You probably have a family in Texas.", I challenge. "I get where you're coming from but I am as single as they come.", he assures me. "Then you must be the other type of guy that works out of town. Never gets tied down so you're always free to play in whatever town you're in. I can respect that but, I also can't get caught up in that. You're a good looking guy, I'm sure you'll find someone to warm your bed, It just won't be me. I am not as single as they come and I have two children." The next thing I know one of the other guys is cutting in and I look over to Clyde who is starting to look a little irritated. I'm not going to lie, I find it amusing. I was not even dancing close with these guys. When the song ends, I make my way back over to the bar and Clyde has an attitude. "What?", I ask. "I don't like the way they are looking at you.", Clyde says. "Ha, that's funny. You don't like the way they are looking at me and yet you agreed to them asking me to dance.", I say rolling my eyes. "Look, I am not interested in those guys and we were not even dancing close. Who cares how they look, as long as they don't touch me.", I reason. Clyde grunts his agreement and the guys make their way over to where Clyde, Addy and I are standing. I was called up to sing and by the time I returned, things had gotten heated between Clyde and one of the guys from Texas. Since I was singing, I had no idea what had transpired. "I'm just saying, man... I don't think you know what you have there. If you're not careful, someone is going to take her off your hands.", the guy says to Clyde. "Let me tell you something, my buddy, nobody will be taking her off my hands. Do you think you are going to take her off my hands?", Clyde slurringly snarls at him. "Unfortunately not me, she made it pretty clear that she was not interested in me.", he told Clyde. At this point Clyde is ready to fight and I am fed up. I look up at Clyde, "I am going home." Without wating for a reply, I make my way to the front and say goodnight and hug Jared. "You gone, girl?", Jared says. "I am leaving before the i***t writes a check his face can't cash.", I say. "It looks a little tense over there, what's going on?", he asks. "He brought some guys in that he met over at Depot Club and introduced them to me. He told them to dance with me and then got mad about it.", I say shrugging. "You gonna be okay?", he asks. "Oh me, yes. I'll be fine. I'll see you soon.", I say.

The next day I am anxious for Clyde to get out of bed and leave for the day so I can fill Rose in on everyting. When he finally leaves, Rose and I take the kids outside to play. As we sit out on the patio I turn to Rose, "Do you remember when Clyde said I was fliriting with that guy all night?" "It wasn't that long ago, I remember. What about it?", she asks. "I totally was flirting with him. He is so handsome and so nice. I am having a hard time getting him out of my head.", I confess. "You know I hate Clyde. I have never liked him with his inappropriate comments and billigerant behavior. He doesn't treat you right and I just want you to be happy. So, tell me more about this guy.", she says excitedly. I fill her in on meeting Jake and some of the conversations we have had. Then I show her his picture online; "He IS a cutie!", Rose says. She looks at me with concern in her eyes, "Taylor, you are not yourself anymore. I do catch glimpses of the real Taylor from time to time when Clyde is not around. I'd love to have my sister back, whatever that takes." I reach over and hug my sister. "So, Clyde is going to Mississippi for work next week. He'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon and will not be back until Friday. Jake's birthday is on Wednesday and I was thinking of offering to take him to dinner. If he says yes, do you mind watching the kiddos for me?", I ask. "You know I will, Taylor. What if someone sees you out with him though?", she says. "That is always a possibility but I will not be taking him out in town. If someone happens to see us, I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there. Rose, this feels different. I can't really explain it but I just have to see if my gut is right about Jake." Rose looks at me empathetically, "Taylor, I have your back. I want you to be happy but please be careful. I also don't want to see you get hurt." Then as if maybe he felt us talking about him, Jake called.

"Hi Jake, how are you?", I answer. Chuckling slightly he says, "I'm good Taylor. Is now a good time to talk?", he asks. "I can talk for a bit, we are just sitting out on the patio, watching the kids play.", I answer. "We?", he questions. "My sister, Rose and I.", I answer. "Yes, you told me about Rose, she lives with you, right?" I confirm, "Yes, that's right." We make small talk about plans for the day and then Jake starts to ask more specific questions. "So Taylor, what is it that you do because I do not meet very many that work?" I can't help the laugh that escapes my lips and my thoughts just tumble out with the laughter, "Where do you meet women because I don't many women that do not work?!? I thought we all kind of had to these days." "Well, I gave my exes a choice to work or not. Both decided to stay home with the kids.", he says. "Well that is not how the dumbass sees it, he says if he has to work than so do I. Honestly though, I am not a stay at home mom type. I enjoy working and I refuse to get caught up in a situation like my mother who was a stay at home mom and then housewife. My dad never allowed her to work and then one day after nearly 30 years of marriage, he left her for his cousin's wife. She was nearly 50 years old having to start from scratch. No, I will know that if anything happens, I will be capable of taking care of me and mine. To answer your question, I have been with the same insurance company for the past 8 years. I work in a contact center and I am currently the lowest level of management at the company. I am serious about building a career.", I say. " Wow, that is pretty impressive. You are not like any woman I know.", he says. "What do you do?", I ask "I'm a Computer Draftsman but I was recently laid off due to the housing market crash and that is why I was working at the bar.", he said. Providing more of explanation as to why he quit the bar gig he confesses, "I just couldn't do it. I didn't like being around all the drunk people and so I would drink to be able to tolerate it more." We moved on to other topics and he asked about my plans for the night. I told him that I was staying in but would be out tomorrow night if he wanted to meet me. He agreed and after talking for a couple of hours, we ended the call.

The next day Clyde gets up in a fowl mood. Thank God he is leaving this afternoon. I'm not sure that one week is long enough. "What is up with you today?", I ask Clyde. "You know I am leaving today and my stuff isn't packed yet. I thought you would do that last night. It looks like you need to do some laundry.", he snaps. "You're not leaving until this afternoon and I have plenty of time to do laundry before you leave. It's not like you are incapable of doing the laundry yourself. I work all week just like you do.", I retort. "You don't work like I do, you sit on your ass all day.", he said. Just do the damn laundry and pack him up, maybe he'll leave earlier than expected. I grab my phone and earbuds and start on the laundry and other household chores while singing and dancing around the house. As I am loading the dryer my phones starts ringing. I look at the screen and see Jake's name pop. "I'm sorry, It's not really a good time right now. I'll call you back later.", I say instead of answering normally. "Okay, sure. I'll talk to you later. Bye, Taylor.", he resonds. "Bye.", I say ending the call. If Clyde noticed the phone call, he never mentioned it. Once the clothes were dry I placed Clyde's suitcase on the sectional sofa beside the recliner he was sitting in. He was watching a race on the TV and not really paying attention to me as I folded and packed the freshly cleaned work clothes for him. I lifted a shirt out of the laundry basket and accidentally spilled most of Clyde's glass of water. Some of the water splattered on his leg. Clyde jumped up and grabbed the glass and flung the remaining water in my face. "Why don't you watch what you're doing you dumb b***h!", he spat at me. Rage fills my entire body and I lose it. "f**k you! You can finish packing yourself. You worthless piece of s**t. I am leaving and will not be back until you have left for Mississippi. Rose, please text me when he leaves.", I then stomp out the door.

I don't go too far from home. I pulled into a parking and and sent a text to Jake.

T: Can you talk?

J: Sure give me a call.

When Jake answers the phone I tell him about my day and how furious I am at the moment. The nerve of Clyde to treat me like that. He always treated me like that. He loved to try to make me feel small and insignificant. Then Jake asks a question that I was not expecting' "Taylor, what do you want from me? You are a married woman and I just need to understand what you expect from me." I answer him with honesty, "I'm not sure, Jake. All I know is that I think you are absolutely adorable and I want to get to know you better." "Adorable?", he questions. "Yes, adorable. Absolutely adorable and that is a good thing.", I say. "I can honestly say, I don't think anyone has ever described me as adorable.", he says disapprovingly. "Are you still coming out tonight?", I say. "About that, what would you say to coming over and watching a movie and we could order some pizza." "Before I answer that, do you live alone or have roommates? That asshole knows a lot of people around here.", I say. "I am staying at my sister's house right now.", he says. "Oh, okay. Well I think I just saw the dumbass drive past so he must be on his way to Mississippi. What time did you want me to come over?", I ask. "I have some things I need to do and I need to take my youngest son home.", I will text you when I am on the way back and you can meet and follow me to the house.", Jake proposes. "Sounds good, I will see you soon.", I agree.

I go home and tell Rose about the change of plans. "Are you sure about going to his house, Taylor? You know mom is coming over to spend the night, tonight", She says. "We're just going to watch a movie and have some pizza. I won't make it a late night.", I tell her. I hop in the shower and get dressed in a t-shirt and pair of shorts. I have just gotten my hair straightened and make up on when Jake texts me.

J: Can you meet me in the church parking lot in 15 minutes?

T: Sure, I'll see you there.

I go and check on the kids and give the a kiss on the forehead as they sleep before heading over to meet Jake. Jake pulls into the parking lot with a smile and I begin following him home. What am I doing? This one is going to be trouble, I just know it. Taylor, you will not sleep with him tonight. If you do that, there may be no turning back, so just don't. Do I want to turn back? What if I give in and that's all he wants from me? I should probably take the advice I had given some of girlfriends in the past, If you like him, don't sleep with him. I am pulled from my internal turmoil when we pull up into the driveway and park. Jakes gets out of his car and walks over to my truck. I get out slowly and make meet him about halfway. He takes my hand leads me inside the house where I see a beautiful woman standing at the counter. "Taylor, this is my sister, Mary. Mary, this is Taylor.", he says. Mary says, "So you and your husband live over in Otter Crossing?", she asks. I am so embarrassed. He told her that I am married?!? I guess there was no point in taking my rings off before coming in. "Yes, we moved in about a year ago.", I say, trying to smile. "My fiance did a lot of work in that neighborhood when they were building it.", she said. "Oh really, I like it there, it has been a nice neighborhood so far.", my response is simply to be polite because I am feeling awkward as hell right now. "Well, we are going to go upstairs and watch a movie, is this our pizza?", he asks his sister. "Yes, that's yours. It was nice to meet you Taylor.", she said. "Nice meeting you.", I replied thankful that we are heading upstairs. As we enter Jake's bedroom he says, "I'm sorry but I need to take a shower. I can put something on for you to watch while I shower if you would like." "Oh, I'll be fine, I'll just sit and wait.", I say. Jake rambles through his dresser and collects the clothing he needs and heads into the bathroom. I feel awkward again. He knew I was coming and yet he waits until I get here to take a shower? It shows trust I guess. I wouldn't bring a stranger to my home and just leave them in my room. Thankfully he showered quickly and returned to the room. He sat on the bed opposite me and turned on the TV. When he pulled up his DVR list it was clear that he has young children. "Horton Hears a Who?", he asks. I smile and nod, "Sure, I haven't seen this one yet.", I say. Jake starts the movie and stretches out on the bed. He pats the bed to his right and says, "Come here so I can hold you." I snuggled in beside him and laid my head on his chest as the movie started. I look up at Jake to see that he is looking down at me and then... he kisses me.