Faithless (Filipino)

~ Chapter Three ~

Wala ako sa aking sarili nung pumunta ako sa ball. Para akong binuhusan ng tubig sa nangyare kanina.

Anong ginawa ko?

Anong ginawa namin?

Mali yun! Maling mali yun!

Elvin just kissed me even tho it was on my cheek it's still considered as a kiss!

Akala ko ba wala na? Akala ko ba okay sila pero bakit nagawa niya yun?

Kahit na gustong-gusto ko siya hindi parin dapat nangyare sa amin yun.

Nakakaguilty kay Jennica.

Just now sa ball nakita ko sila na magkasama at parang okay lang si Elvin, sadyang ako lang yata yung affected sa aming dalawa pero bakit ganon? Bakit parang wala lang sakanya yung ginawa niya kanina?

"Irene kanina ka pa tulala okay ka lang?" Tanong ni Ysa.

"Ha? Oo okay lang." Sagot ko na wala sa sarili.

"Mag ready ka na malapit na tayo magsimula," Paalala ni Ysa atsaka tumango ako.

Tumingin ulit ako kay Elvin ng magtama ang mga mata namin, nakangiti parin siya ng mailang ako at umiwas.

Yung puso ko ang lakas ng t***k.

Siguro dala na rin ng kaba at takot na masira ko ang relasyon nilang dalawa ni Jennica.

Inalis ko sa isip ang nangyari sa amin nung tinawag na kami sa stage at pumwesto na kami nila Ysa, Gab at Phil sa stage.

Ako sa lead guitar at vocal, si Gab sa drums, si Phil sa piano at si Ysa ang bass.

Lahat nagsisigawan ng magsimula kami, hindi ko alam kung anong meron pero parang tagos na tagos yung kanta?

'I am not the kind of girl

Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion

'But you are not the kind of boy

Who should be marryin' the wrong girl,'

Unang linya palang feeling ko para sa akin talaga yung performance namin kaya naman feel na feel kong kantahin yung speak now.

'I sneak in and see your friends

And her snotty little family, all dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid

Somewhere back inside a room

Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

This is surely not what you thought it would be

I lose myself in a daydream

Where I stand and say'

Out of the crowd iisang mata lang yung tinignan ko mula sa malayo at alam na alam kong damang dama niya ako kasi kahit siya ay seryosong nakatingin sa akin.

"Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out"

And they said, "speak now"

I played my guitar with feels making the crowd cheer loud on me and my bandmates, I don't know but somehow I feel myself crying gently because this Valentines Day my heart longed for his love.

'Fond gestures are exchanged

And the organ starts to play

A song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains

It seems I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be

She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen

Somehow I almost laughed because I saw how annoyed Jennica's face was when she saw Elvin was smiling out of our performance or because it was me? I can't help but smile a little while singing out loud of all this loneliness I feel.

'But I know you wish it was me

You wish it was me, don't you?

"Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said, "speak now"

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

Your time is running out

And they said, "speak now"

"Sa mga single and sawi sa crush nila, Everyone! Let's sing our hearts together!"

I cheered because almost everyone was standing alone and I'm glad that I wasn't the only one.

'I hear the preacher say

"Speak now or forever hold your peace"

There's a silence, there's my last chance

I stand up with shaking hands

All eyes on me

Horrified looks from everyone in the room

But I'm only lookin' at you

I sang and sang looking deeply into his eyes saying out all of this feeling I hid from long before, and whatever happened to us this day will be the last memory I would keep and would finally forget him to avoid any conflict that will happen.

I am not the kind of girl

Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion

But you are not the kind of boy,

Who should be marryin' the wrong girl

So don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said, "speak now"

And you say, "let's run away now

I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door

Oh, baby, I didn't say my vow

So glad you were around when they said, "speak now"

"Thank you, everyone and happy Valentine's day!"

Nung nakababa kami nila Ysa sa stage tinignan naman ako nito ng may panghihinala. Ngumiti lang naman ako at ginulo yung buhok niya, akin nalang muna to.

"Ano yun bakit ang bigat sa feeling?" Tanong niya.

"Ha? Diba dapat kumanta na fe-feel ng iba?" 

"Hindi eh nag ra-radiate yung feelings eh." 

"Sus wag mo na pansinin yun, doon kana sa Jay mo mag date na kayo!" Tulak ko sa kanya at kumaway kay Jay, senyas na pwede niya ng kunin tong chismosang bestfriend ko. 

Tinignan naman ako ni Ysa kung okay lang ba ako na iwanan niya kaya naman ako na kumuha sa kamay niya at binigay kay Jay.

"Go enjoy and the night guys." Offer ko sa kanila kasi nakakahiya naman kung makikisawsaw pa ako tapos  Valentines pa naman ngayon, I'm sure may naka scheduled plans na sila.

Instead of watching a lot of people dancing I turned my feet around to go outside and feel the cold air. 

Bitter noh? 

Nakita ko na kasi silang dalawang masayang nagsasayaw. 

I'm not sure what he feels about me but it's good that I've learned to distance myself lalo na sa nangyare kanina. I can still remember clearly how that felt and how I slapped his face out of shock, because it was embarrassing and wrong at the same time.

"Happy Valentines day self." Naloloka kong sabi sa sarili.

"What an encouraging self-love." Sabi ng isang pamilyar na boses.

Pag tingin ko it was Hayden next to me. He seems a little bit weird and scary for me or it was because of his aura that I'm scared?

"Anong ginagawa mo dito diba dapat nasa loob ka?"

"Bawal ba dito?" Tanong niya sakin at hindi ako nakasagot.

"Stop making rules it's annoying."

"Excuse me?" 

"Daan ka lang.."

"Nanga-asar kaba?" 

"Napipikon kaba?" Pilosopo niyang sabi kaya naman naisipan ko nalang umalis nang magsalita siya.

"Babalik ka? Masasaktan ka lang." Napahinto ako at inis na lumapit sakanya atsaka kinuha yung basong dala niya.

Nung inamoy ko confirmed Alcohol.

"Diba bawal to? Pwede kang ma suspend dahil nagdala ka nito."

"What? Dahil ba masama yung reputation ko ganyan kana manghusga?"

"So what do you mean nagpapainom sila ng alcohol sa loob?"

Ngumiti naman siya sakin ng nakakaloko at kumindat.

"Good guess,"

Susugod na sana ako when he held my hand to stop me. Kinabahan ako kaagad what is he doing?

"Ano ba delikado yung mga tao sa loob." Giit ko sa kanya.

"You'll be in danger." Seryosong sabi niya.

"Hayden let go!" 

"Binibiro lang kita," Tapos ngumise ulit siya.

Abnormal yata to eh seryosong seryoso siya kanina tapos biglang mag swi-switch yung mood, nakainom nga!

"You know what lasing kana I'll take you to the nursery nalang." Sabi ko pero hindi siya nagpatinag nanatili lang siyang nakahawak sa kamay ko na para bang may hinihintay.

"May hinihintay ka ba?" Tanong ko sa kanya at tumango naman siya.

"Sino?"

"Sila," Turo niya sa dalawang taong ayaw kong makita.

Right before Elvin and Jennica saw us, Hayden suddenly took a grip from my neck and kissed me romanticly in front of them.