Half Of Rhea

The Betrayal

“Sage… Did you know that he was using p?” She asked calmly her tears had stopped.

…..

The atmosphere was thick with tension and Sage looked like she was seriously trying to decide if she should talk or run. Her eyes darting towards the doorway then back at Rhea.

“I have to explain mate…” she replied softly and apprehensively. Her hands were out in front of her in a classic defensive stance, even though Rhea wasn’t moving towards her. Sage took a cautious step forwards gaging her responsiveness.

Rhea was looking at the bench unable to process. She was unsure how much more betrayal she could take. Her head was shaking from left to right unable to comprehend the ramifications of this revelation. The person she had trusted the most, had knowledge on her situation, which would have helped her a lot sooner to make up her mind, about her relationship. Not only that, but it threw into light answers to Zane’s erratic behaviour and aggressiveness. That would have helped in dealing with his supposed ‘come-downs’.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice cracked with emotion. In some ways she felt more deceived by her friend then by her partner.

“It was a long story friend, I had only heard through the grapevine and I know he’s involved with gangs somehow and I thought the less you knew the better. I just hoped you left him without bringing the drug use into it.” She sighed exasperatedly. “You don’t need mobsters on your arse as well as everything else.”

“Are you kidding me mate? You know that would have made a huge difference to me.” She was confused and hurt, still not sure why her best friend had not told her everything that concerned her family and most importantly her son. Rhea was well aware of the notoriety of the gang and its members. She wasn’t going to add to their danger but at least she could take necessary precautions. She was quite laxed when it came to security, up until recently.

“It will put you in danger if them or anyone else knew that you knew what was going on friend.” She grabbed Rhea’s hand and held it. “You have to forget that you know anything.”

“Seems like there’s a bit I have to forget now and push to the back of my mind.” She replied dejectedly.

“NO mate, we can still go to the police about how he hurt you, you have bruises and swollen legs, broken furniture, they’ll take you to the hospital to do a r**e kit.  You can be free, free from him! You just have to be brave enough.” She pleaded with Rhea, a look of sorrow and regret in her eyes.

“I’m not brave Sage, I’m broken.”….. She paused and looked into Sage’s eyes. “You need to go mate, I need some space and time to think.”

“I don’t want to leave you Rhea, I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I was only trying to keep you safe.” She gripped her hand tighter.

Rhea pulled her hand out of Sage’s grasp and looked more sternly at her friend.

“I need time mate.”

“O-okay then friend. I-I’m here for you Rhea-rhea….. Just text when you are ready to talk or come up with a plan and I’ll be straight here k… please look after yourself and lock your doors.”

Rhea turned to face the window and nodded, not wanting to look at her friend anymore. Her heart was sad and the tears that came, weren’t for her predicament anymore, they were for the loss of trust in her friend.

She had given up everything and all her support from her family, to make this relationship work with Zane and now she was left with an abusive, p smoking i***t and no friends or family. She wanted to pull her hair out, she was so angry at herself, for letting her life dive into such a f*****g mess.

She heard the door shut and without realising it, Sage and her kids had left. Rhea went back to bed, with the door open she could hear if Laken needed her. She closed her eyes and drifted back off to sleep. That was how the next three days passed. Rhea would wake up, do the bare minimum and then go back to sleep. In between Laken was at kindy or watching cartoons or on the bed next to her playing on the ipad. She barely ate, her stomach unable to hold much down. The dog was getting restless and all she could think about, was the impending arrival of Zane.

She wasn’t sure what the time was, but her mind wanted to shut down again, so she headed with a cup of tea back to her room and heard a banging on the door. She froze. Lots of people had tried to visit her or ring and she had just blocked everyone out. There were missed phone calls from Zane and his family, texts from Sage, messages from Rhea’s parents and siblings. All remained in her notifications, she didn’t even dare to read or look at any of them. She had no remaining energy to hold up the façade of being ok, she didn’t have the will power to lie, so she ghosted everyone.

The banging on the door this time was louder, Laken was at kindergarten, so she didn’t have to worry about hushing him up. She peeked through her side window and saw what appeared to be a big man. She didn’t recognise him but he turned and saw her peeking through the curtain at him.

“f**k!” she swore. Now that he had seen her, she had to open the damn door.

She quickly whipped her hair up into a messy bun and carried her tea to the front door. She opened it and a very large, rough man with a beard looked down upon her. He said nothing as he took a long look at her.

“Hi how can I help you?” She enquired sipping her tea, trying to remain calm. Ever since Sages revelation on the drug dealing gang, Zane was caught up with, she had tried her best to forget it. Now facing this guy she knew something was up. The man was dressed in tight black jeans, a white shirt and high cut chucks. He wasn’t tall but he had an aura around him that screamed, don’t f**k with me.  Rhea was so occupied staring at this guy that she missed the man at the side, who had stepped out in front. He took Rhea by surprise and she stepped back. He was a much smaller man, with a scruffy goatee and sunken eyes, he was chewing gum and smirked at her.

“Why hello little lady, we are looking for Zane. Is he home?” This stranger had a grimey way of speaking and Rhea felt his eyes travelling up and down her. She pulled her cardigan closer together holding onto the hot drink with her other hand. He ran his fingers through his greasy short black hair and she wondered if it left a handprint on her doorframe, as he leant over it staring at her.

“Um no sorry, I haven’t seen him in days and I don’t know where he is.”

“We tried ringing him but we are getting no answers, are you sure he’s not here?” He took a step into her house and Rhea grabbed her cup tighter, ready to swing it at his face.

“I told you he’s not. You are more than welcome to come and take a look around, but I’m not lying.”

Her words came out stronger then she felt and she tried to hide her trembling fingers from the two men. The big guy put his hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“That won’t be necessary miss. Thank you for your time.” His voice was deep and commanding. He steered the younger gentleman around and directed him out of her doorway. Rhea could see his fingers digging into the young man’s shoulder. Instantly the young man had dropped that side and winced at the pain. The older man was clearly the one in charge.

“Sorry for any inconvenience, we didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No its… um… It’s fine.” Rhea gave a fake smile and shook her head at him.

“Have a nice day.” He tipped his head slightly towards her, not relinquishing his hold on his comrade.

They turned their backs on her and walked out of her front gate. She stood in the doorway watching them leave. She hadn’t heard from Zane and didn’t answer any phone calls from numbers she didn’t recognise. She locked her door and went to grab her phone. She scrolled through messages she found the one from an unknown number that had texted afterwards saying it was Zane. They had left a voice message she clicked on it ready to hear what was said.

“You have 4 new messages, first message received at 442pm Sunday”, the voicemail lady said.

“Rhea! Its Zane I won’t be home for a bit. Lock the doors don’t answer it to anyone you don’t know and don’t let anyone into the house! Its f*****g important and if you hear this answer your f*****g phone!... FUCK.” The line went dead.

She hung up on her voicemail wondering what the hell was going on. At least she was safe from him for longer, but there was also this dread that something much worse was happening or coming for her and she couldn’t avoid it. Those guys had to be gang members, and Zane was in trouble. In the dark subset of her mind, she wondered if anything happened to him because of this gang, would it really be a bad thing? If they were to take him on a boot ride or dispose of him in some kind of way, she wasn’t sure she would even mind too much. She shook her head from the impure thoughts, knowing no good kharma would come from thinking like that. It was one thing to be apathetic, it was another to willingly wish someone’s demise at the hands of ruthless gang members.

She wasn’t heartless or cruel and even though cruelty had been shown to her she didn’t want to turn into a dark vengeful person.

19 more days passed with no news. Rhea was starting to worry maybe something had happened to Zane and wondered if she should make a missing person’s report to the police. If she didn’t maybe she might be looked at as a suspect? s**t, she hadn’t thought about that before. She picked up her phone and tried once more to ring the number she had last heard from him on. As it had so many times before, it went straight to voicemail. She left it as it was and decided the less she knew about where he was, the better, especially if it involved those dodgy looking guys and drugs. If the police came she would tell them everything she knew.

 After leaving events to unfold as they happened Rhea carried on with her life, she felt quite sick and that feeling hadn’t left her for a while. Knowing she hadn’t been eating properly and sleeping way too much, she tried to get back on track. She took bully for a walk, they had decided to call the dog bully because he was such a pansy, that it made them laugh. It was now blatantly obvious that the puppy was now a fulltime member of their family. He was another son and she had a responsibility to love and take care of him. She patted his ears and he toddled along next to her. The nauseous feeling came back and she threw up in the gutter, disgusted by her own inability to hold down food. As a positive side effect, she had lost more weight and even though she was skinnier, she felt weaker than she ever had before.  Some good food and rest was what she needed.

That night Rhea and Laken sat at the table eating nachos with cheese, salsa, guacamole and a spicy chilli mince beef. The sour cream was piled high on their plates and they tucked into the mix with cheesy doritos. Slowly Rhea had healed again and worked her way back into a normal headspace. She wondered if her resilience to traumatic events would leave a mark on her mentally. At this point in time, she had no options but to just keep moving forward.

As they were snuggled up falling asleep Rhea heard some knocking on her back door. She didn’t move a muscle, but Bull decided he would protect the house and started barking loudly. Giving away their location to the outsider, she heard more knocking this time on the front door. ‘Why can’t people just leave me alone’, she said to herself. Next came a voice she instantly recognised…..

“Rhea open the door please I need to come in.”

Her heart thumped loudly and she closed her eyes hoping he would go away. At least now there was no need to write that missing person’s report. He was very much alive and well, banging on her door.

“Rhea stop f*****g around and let me in!”

She stood up and went to the window. She opened it and looked down on Zane as he stood in the light of the outdoor sensor, covering his eyes from the fluorescent bulb that shone at his face.

“Stop yelling you will wake up my son. And no you can’t come in.”

“He’s our son, not yours and stop being a b***h and open the door.”

“You are not coming in Zane, now I suggest you leave before I ring the police.”

A dark look came over him and he swung his bag at the window barely missing the glass. Rhea retracted her head and looked at him again.

“f**k off you son of a b***h you don’t belong here, I am not your partner, I do not love you.” She hissed at him quietly, so as not to wake up Laken.

“We will see bitch.”

He turned and left walking out of her line of sight. Rhea quickly shut the window and went round double checking her doors and windows were all locked and there was no way for him to break into her house and get her while she slept.

After she jumped back into bed she tried to go back to sleep but the anxiety and panic remained, she turned the t.v low and stayed awake, listening for any sounds that indicated he had made his way in. his threat lingered in the air, which meant it was a broken interrupted sleep, filled with horrific dreams she couldn’t escape.

The next morning there was no sign of Zane. So Rhea and her boys went about their morning routine. She rang her brother and told him she was fine and there was no need to send a search party. She was just busy and her phone had no credit for over a month. It was a lie, but after he had threatened to fly to the main town and come check up on her, she had to reply to his messages.

She filled him in on Laken and Kindy, their new puppy and her weight loss goals and exercise but that she hadn’t been up to much because she was feeling sick all the time. They laughed and giggled reminiscing about old times and after a good chat Rhea felt much better, her heart a little lighter.

“God imagine if you were pregnant!” he laughed and Rhea laughed too but the familiar feeling of dread filled her.

“Nah there’s no way!” She reassured him. “Anyway I better get this kid to kindy bro, I’ll chat to you later. Love you!” she forced a super excited declaration of love out but on the inside she was terrified again. She hung up the phone and tried to think of the last time she had her period.

“s**t!... f**k, f**k, fuck.”