Soul of Freeman. 3rd Book of the Freeman Series.

Chapter 5

Allie beat her chest a few times, trying to get rid of a sudden cough. She was glad Dean was the only other person at the restaurant because she didn't want people to think she would contaminate their burgers.Dean put a bottle of water in front of her and sat on the opposite side of the booth.

"Thanks." Allie unscrew the cap and chugged the liquid.

"Are you okay?" Dean's eyelids were drooped in worry.

"Really?" She thought his question sounded sincere, but lately she couldn't trust his odd bipolar attitude.

"Is your food okay?"

"Mhm."

Allie lifted her burger and gave it a big bite. She didn't wait to finish chewing before stuffing herself with the golden and crispy potato fries. She noticed Dean's food was intact. He had bought the same thing as her but he wasn't eating.

"If you're not gonna eat your burger," she spoke with a mouthful, "I'm about to warn you, I'm coming for it."

The man huffed. She could tell he was suppressing a laugh. Instead, he forced his facial muscles back into place.

They remained silent although throughout the night he he would not take his eyes off her for a second. He watched her chew with intensity, making her wonder if he was on some kind of drug.

How could he be looking at her with such tenderness when five minutes ago he was acting so distant?

None of that mattered. Only food mattered at the moment.

Then, after all that intense staring, he spoke.

"I don't want you to date anyone else." The rapid way in which he blurted the words out, made it look as if he had given them not much thought.

"Okay, I won't date anyone as long as you don't date anyone," she smirked.

"I'm serious, Allie."

Allie swallowed and moved the beef stack away from her face although she didn't put it down.

"Did you fall and hit your head? I never knew you as this lying possessive asshole you've become."

"You know me." His body remained the same, but his eyes widened as if someone was kicking his shin.

"That's what I thought a month ago and that's what I want to believe. The truth is, I don't."

The girl blinked a few times and shook her sadness out of her head.

"Tell me about my babies. Are they eating?" She eyed his food tray. "And I warned you. I'm stealing your burger."

She reached over the table and picked up his burger with her left hand when he held her wrist.

"Wh...wh...where's your wedding ring?"

"My wedding ring is..." At first, she felt guilty for not wearing it. It was as if she had taken it off and closed a new chapter. She was going to tell him what happened to it, then she thought about how they weren't married. He didn't have the right to demand loyalty from her. "How dare you ask that question when you didn't respect our marriage?"

"Did you sell it?" He brittled and showed her his hand with his ring still on it. "We chose these rings together. We made a commitment to each other and you forgot about that so quickly."

She wanted to flip over her tray, bang her fists on the table, and punch him repeatedly. But he was the father of her children, so she slid out of her booth, and pushed herself through the restaurant's double doors.

***

The broken-hearted woman walked in a random direction, not really thinking of home. Being in her apartment would most likely feel as horrible. The sidewalk ended where the grass started but she kept walking. She tried to think of the car lights coming from the road in front of her, but the colors reminded her of the Christmas lights around the garden where her Dean asked her to be his girlfriend.

 It was almost a proposal. He could do no harm. Now she didn't recognize the man he had become.

 "Allie! Allie, come back!" Dean took wide steps behind her. "We're too far from the apartment."

 "I like walking." She hugged herself, protecting her torso from a small breeze.

 "It's too dangerous."

 The girl walked faster, but her lungs ran out of air and she began coughing again. The dry cough scratched her throat so she bent over the grass.

 "Hey, just breathe." Dean tapped and rubbed her back.

 "Don't touch me," she jiggled her shoulders.

"You're making it hard for me to be nice to you, Allie. While I'm trying to show you that I'm here for you, you're already pushing me out of your life."

"I'm pushing you out of my life?" She stood up straight and yelled. "You cheated on me, you kicked me out of the house, you're not letting me see my babies, you treat me like your w***e, you manipulative scumbag. I hate you."

Dean gasped. His eyes doubled in size and she could almost hear his heart beating out of his chest.

"No, no, you don't understand, Allie. Please, don't hate me."

"Do you want to know what happened to the ring? I got assaulted. Some kid forced it out of my finger, and stole my car. And you know what's funny? He was still nicer than you. He left me my phone and my wallet right after he punched me in the face."

Dean's eyebrows imploded. His head moved slightly, lost in all directions. A small hunch formed on his back.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetheart."

"Don't. f*****g. Call me that."

"New Zealand."

"What?" She wondered what new trick he had under his sleeve.

"Remember that? When we met you said you wanted to go there, but you didn't have any money for a plane ticket, so you got drunk," he chuckled. "You got drunk and...and you bought all these plants because you wanted our apartment to look like New Zealand, even though you've never been there. It was chaotic and I thought you were kind of crazy when you said you were going to turn it all into a functioning garden. I just wanted a quiet place to study, honestly. But in the middle of all that chaos, I saw who you really were and I began to want to be in that chaos with you. When I had you I told myself that I would protect you and that I would never let anyone take you from my arms. When I saw you with your neighbor, I wanted to drag you with me to New Zealand."

Allie's arms dropped to her side.

New Zealand. She didn't know why he brought that up so suddenly.

She analyzed his posture and his expression. Dean's short beard wasn't his style; it was messy. His eyes always looked lost and swollen. His white shirt underneath his jacket had wrinkles on the front area by its buttons. His Adam's apple was significantly protruding —he had lost weight. He was suffering.

Allie didn't know how to ask. She feared she was misinterpreting his words and reading under empty lines.

He got everything he wanted. Why was he suffering?

She started coughing once again, so she decided to leave the questions for another day.

"Could you take me back to the apartment?" She cleared her throat.

He took a deep breath and nodded, then guided her out of the grass.

*** 

Allie walked in front of Dean through a long hallway of doors in silence. They had been doing a lot that since Dean talked about New Zealand. Allie's cough and their shoe steps echoed in the badly lit chamber of scratched dirty gray walls. The small patches of low quality wallpaper revealed they had been pink at some point. 

"I'll drop you off at your apartment, then I'll go get you some medicine," said Dean.

"I'm fine. I think it's all the dust around the area. There's a construction zone behind the building," replied Allie.

"I'll still get you something just in case."

Allie pulled out her apartment key and stopped in front of her door.

"I'll go to the corner store before it closes." He checked the time on his phone.

"Sure, thanks." She watched him go into the dark toward the stairs, then inserted the key into the lock.

Before turning the silver piece, her throat closed and she coughed again. As beating her chest didn't work, she raised her head and massaged her neck. She had a clear view of the doorframe, where she frowned at the yellow petal on top. So she raised her arm and felt the stem of the mysterious flower taped to the wood.

She lifted the tape carefully and brought the long banana-looking flower down under her nose. The sweet smell was pleasantly overpowering her dust filled surroundings. It made everything better and just like that she remembered its name.

Kowhai. It was New Zealand's national flower.

Allie stared intensely at her door even though she wasn't really looking at it. Dean did try to tell her something.

Chris wasn't the one leaving a kowhai in front of her door every morning. It was Dean. Dean was reminded her about New Zealand, but it wasn't about the place. It was about feeling safe. Every time she wanted to run from her ex-boyfriend and from her own life, she always though of this mythical sounding country where perhaps she could hide.

He still loved her. She was sure that he was being blackmailed and when he came back from the corner store, she was going to make sure he knew she got his message.

She pressed the flower against her chest and let her heels jump a little bit. With a grin on her face she touched the key and unlocked her door.

A hand covered her mouth and an arm smothered her waist. She felt a big chest on her back and a voice that whispered into her ear.

"Time to talk," Chris kicked her apartment door opened and dragged her inside.

The girl dug her nails into the frame and made muffled screams, but the man's grip was stronger than hers.