Chapter 9: The Pull of the Altar.
881 Words
Chapter 9: The Pull of the Altar
The days following her return from Marco’s house were supposed to be a new beginning, but instead, they felt like a slow awakening. Elena hardly talked to Julian these days. With Marco back in her life, she had intentionally pulled away, truly believing that the distance would help her lose her feelings for the seminarian. She thought that if she threw herself entirely into her relationship, the quiet pull toward Julian would finally fade.
But reality didn't follow her plans.
After spending days locked away with Marco at his place, a strange, hollow sensation began to settle in her chest. The more time she spent with him, the more she noticed her feelings for Marco were reducing. The old spark was dampening, replaced by the exhaustion of trying to please someone who only wanted her on his own terms. And in the silence of that realization, her feelings for Julian kept increasing. It was like an unstoppable tide; the less she spoke to him, the more he occupied her mind.
She was constantly tempted to just confess her feelings to him, to lay her heart bare during one of their late-night calls. But the terror always stopped her. She knew it wasn't the right thing. He was a servant of God, and a confession like that would ruin the beautiful, fragile friendship they had rebuilt. So, once again, she kept it entirely to herself, burying the truth deep inside.
As April approached, the university campus began to empty out for the Easter break. The upcoming holiday filled Elena with a desperate hope.
"Please, Julian, you have to come home for Easter," she begged him over the phone one afternoon, her voice thick with an unspoken longing just to see his face in person. "St. Ann's isn't the same without you. I just really need you here."
But Julian’s sigh on the other end of the line was heavy and laced with regret. "I can't, El," he refused softly. "Our break is only two weeks long. The seminary is too far in the other state, and it would just be a waste of transportation fare to travel all that way for such a short time. I have to stay back and use the time to study."
Elena held the phone tightly against her ear, swallowing the lump in her throat. He was being logical, practical, and faithful to his vocation. But as she hung up the call, looking out at the empty dorm room, the distance between them felt wider than ever—not just in miles, but in the separate worlds they were forced to live in.
Finally, the Easter break arrived, and Elena packed her bags to go home. She reached her hometown on a Thursday—Holy Thursday—and the familiar, quiet streets of her neighborhood immediately brought back a rush of memories. As evening approached, she began getting ready for the Holy Thursday evening Mass at St. Ann's.
Standing in front of her mirror, a deep ache of longing hit her. She wished so desperately that Julian had come home for the break. If only he were here, she would have truly enjoyed the Easter season. At the very least, they would have been able to see each other again, to stand in the same room instead of looking through glass and digital screens.
Yet, even though they were states apart, Julian’s presence in her life never faded. He never stopped calling. Right on cue, her phone rang, his familiar name lighting up the screen. He was calling to check up on her, his voice warm as he asked if she was preparing to go to church for the evening liturgy.
Testing him, Elena leaned against her dresser and sighed. "I don't think I'm going tonight, Julian."
On the other end of the line, Julian let out a dramatic, playful gasp. "If you don't go to church tonight, Elena, I am going to divorce you."
Elena froze, her breath catching in her throat. The word echoed in her mind, sending a sudden, electric shock through her entire body. Divorce.
As Julian kept talking on the other side of the line, sharing a story about his own Holy Thursday preparations at the seminary, Elena completely tuned out his words. A bright, breathless smile broke across her face, and her mind began to race with a wild, hopeful realization.
Is he also in love with me? she thought, her heart hammering wildly against her ribs. I fell in love with him because of the way he treats me... because of how much he cares. And now he says he’s going to divorce me? You only say that to someone you consider your other half. He loves me too. He really loves me.
The sheer joy of the thought made her dizzy. She trapped the smile in her cheeks, listening to the comforting rumble of his voice through the speaker, feeling a renewed sense of warmth spread through her.
"Okay, okay, I'll go," she promised him, her voice suddenly lighter, filled with a secret happiness he couldn't see. "I'll go to church, Julian. I promise."
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