3
993 Words
ELLA
My first instinct is to slap him. The second one is to run.In the end, I do neither. I manage to compose myself. I recover faster than him, in
fact. Derek steps forward to shake his hand, but all Ethan can do is stare at me like I have a gnat on my face.
Derek clears his throat and that seems to wake him up.
“Is something wrong, Doctor?” my fiancé asks with an awkward chuckle.
Ethan shakes his head before standing up from behind his desk and taking the outstretched hand in his. I remember the inscription on the door of the office: Ethan Myers, MD. I should have known it was him. Although, how could I have known? I never would have guessed he was back in Missouri, or that he was working in this hospital as a doctor.
A freaking doctor! When did that even happen?
“Not at all. Nice to meet you, Mr. Woods, Ms. Meadows,” he greets. “I’m Dr. Myers.”
So, that’s how we’re doing this. Pretending not to know each other. That’s cool. I can work with
it.
We all take our seats and I try my hardest not to look into his gray eyes that are also determinedly
looking away from me. So much has happened since I saw him last. So much has changed. And yet, he’s still the same.
Good-looking, charismatic. He does seem older, though, more mature and sophisticated.
Especially with the stethoscope and white coat.
“I was informed you had a miscarriage, Ms. Meadows,” he begins. “Yeah, a week ago. She was three months pregnant,” Derek answers.
There’s a clenching in my heart as he says that. No matter how many times it happens, the pain of losing a pregnancy is unimaginable. It really f*****g hurts.
“Are you okay?” Ethan asks, his eyes fixed on my face. His expression is concerned.
I want to tell him to be careful. Derek is incredibly astute. The last thing I want is for my fiancé to notice we’re in the presence of my ex. Things are bad enough already.
“She’s fine. The baby, however, isn’t,” Derek replies gruffly.
Ethan raises an eyebrow in question. I can almost see the thoughts running through his head right now.
“She can speak for herself,” he muses.
I hadn’t even realized Derek was answering for me. I tend to take a backseat where he’s concerned. It’s a force of habit. Mostly because I expect him to make all my problems go away. He can’t do anything about this one, though. He wants children as much as I do.
“It’s just as my fiancé said, Doctor. I lost my baby a week ago. I was three months pregnant,” I explain.
“And has this happened before?” Ethan asks.
I take a deep breath as my throat tightens. I really wish I was anywhere but here, doing this with anyone but him.
“Yes,” I say, but my voice comes out in a whisper. “How many times?”
“Three times,” I reply. Ethan is visibly surprised. “The first time was terrible and I sought medical help, but the doctors told me it wasn’t serious. The second time it happened, we visited a doctor at another hospital. He took some tests and, like the first doctor, he informed me that there’s nothing wrong with my womb. And now, it’s happened again. I really need to know what’s wrong with me, Doctor,” I cry.
I was holding back at first but right now I don’t care that I’m in front of Ethan Myers. I hate him, but I also desperately need any help he can provide. Derek’s friend said Ethan is the best and got us in the next day to see him even though his calendar was booked for weeks out.
His eyes soften and I swear his hands twitch like he wants to reach over and comfort me. My fiancé is staring straight ahead with his jaw clenched. Derek doesn’t even try to give me a comforting word. I tell myself he’s in pain, too. Although I’m starting to wonder why I’m providing him with so many excuses.
“I’m sorry this is happening to you,” Ethan says softly in a voice no doctor should use with his patient.
I glare at him. Get it together, asshole.
He coughs into his fist before speaking.
“Miscarriages can occur due to numerous reasons—a chromosomal abnormality, hormonal irregularities. It could be your cervix or uterine abnormalities,” Ethan states.
“So what’s causing hers?” Derek asks.
“Tell me what happens when you have the miscarriage. How does it feel? And how long have all your pregnancies lasted?”
It doesn’t escape my notice that he’s ignoring Derek’s question. I don’t think it escapes Derek’s notice, either. Still, I answer his questions.
“The first time, there was a lot of blood. I had cramps and severe backaches. It was really painful. The pregnancy lasted about six weeks. The second time, it was slightly less painful and the blood wasn’t as terrible. I was pregnant for about a month. I had a dilation and extraction procedure performed back then. This time, though, it was barely painful. A little blood trickled down my leg. Derek rushed me to the hospital and the doctor informed us that the baby was gone.”
I’m trying really hard not to get emotional. I’ve had a week to cry and grieve the loss of my child. This miscarriage might not have been physically painful, but it broke something inside of me. I had begun to hope that maybe this baby would stay, that I would carry it to term and give birth. Three months of bliss and now it’s just gone.
Ethan ponders my words for a moment.
- Writer
