The first time I saw him was when I walked into my class and the teacher introduced me to everyone. His stare was innocent yet filled with curiosity, intensity, and passion. I became uncomfortable under that gaze as the other students' stares didn't seem to affect me, nor were they as piercing as his.
This is the first time I meet him but not the first time I have noticed him. He always walks by the park in the morning on his way to school and sometimes, on the weekends when he goes out. It was then I noticed him and he, me.
His staring began, then from the moment he noticed me and I him. but he never knew I noticed his staring.
His stares were at first inquisitive and curious, but then, it grew deeper, longer, and more passionate. Every time I felt his gaze, It brought me fear and expectations shaking me to my core.
Fear that I won't be able to talk to him and my father will notice this boy I keep glancing or staring at. Expectations that we would one day communicate or become good friends.
This has been my lifelong goal since my time in this world, but that feels like a dream.
It's a cold world when you don't have people surrounding you. Craving that closure from a person has always brought me fear and makes me confused, yet I want it.
Which was why I became excited when my father told me I would be attending this school. I swallowed back my joy as my father stared at me with his black, cold, dead eyes.
It took a lot of willpower not to squirm under his gaze, trying to keep my emotions in check so he wouldn't notice.
Cause to my father anything that brings me good joy must be destroyed. No matter what it is, I am not allowed to be happy.