TANGO (Dark Waters #4)

Chapter 2

Ty

“You seem off,” Moore side-eyed me as we prepared for a round of interviews for our new team, “like your head isn’t in the game.”

“I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Have you,” Moore lowered his voice as we passed by the meal hall at Camp Green, “spoken to Ivy?”

“No.” I wavered in my step. “She slept in her room last night.”

“No, she didn’t.” He shook his head. “But Abigail said she was fine when I asked this morning.”

“You asked?”

“When have I not had your six, on and off the field?”

“True.” I pushed the door open between two hallways. “Where’d she sleep, then?”

“She wouldn’t say, just that she’s okay. I waited around to see if I could spot her, but given we left at the ass c***k of dawn…”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to see how well these guys work in the morning. But thanks for that.”

“Hooah, brother.”

Twenty minutes later, we were in a room with three physically drained Dark Water recruits. Ray stopped at the door and looked in. He was the one who oversaw Camp Green and was a former Blackstone agent under Cole’s father. He gave me a nod, and I nodded back. I really appreciated his help with the recruits. I put my attention back on the three men.

One of them was Tommy Gear.

“Sir,” he sat straighter when we did the one-on-one interviews first, “I listened to what Dr. Knight said, and I took the time to understand exactly what I wanted out of life and if I can leave my family. My decision wasn’t taken lightly, nor should it be, and no matter how many times I talked myself out of not doing this, my heart wouldn’t let me. I was made to be a part of this team. I feel it deep inside, and I want the chance to prove it to you.”

“I’m glad you did that. It shows a lot about your character, Gear.” I had a good feeling about him.

“I assure you that my sister and mother have lots of help, and they both understood I needed to live for me now and not be on hold.”

There was something to be said for that, but there was still a part of me that wondered if he’d be better suited for the team at Dusk rather than Dark Water. That way, when he got leave, he’d be closer to home.

“Okay,” I nodded and looked at his file, “let’s finish with this interview and see how you do with the group one.”

“I’m ready.” He smiled, and I knew he was.

I’d taken a page from Ivy’s playbook and after we asked all the prepared questions, I went deeper into their minds on their group interview.

I really liked that Steven Lee was smart and quick on his feet. Chris Perez was funny and resourceful. Perez was the smallest of the bunch, and I knew that could be an advantage in the field. Gear answered our questions slower the second time round, he put more thought in his answers. I could tell he’d gone away and really thought about what it might mean to join Dark Water. He impressed me a lot, but even better, he won over Moore. Perhaps I was wrong about Gear. I now believed he was what we were looking for.

“At ease.” I closed their files and watched as they sagged into their seats and smiled, pleased the group interviews were over. “We’re going to step outside. Hang tight.” We removed ourselves from the room and went into another room farther down the hall. We didn’t have a window to watch them, but we did have a live camera feed. This was an exercise to see how they interacted now they weren’t trying to impress us or each other.

“I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life.” Lee rubbed his crewcut with a huff. They were all exhausted but hadn’t let it show, even to each other, until they were finished and somewhat alone.

“We all know how badass Blackstone is, and now there’s a new team that’s gonna work right alongside of ’em,” Perez grinned. “And we’re being considered? This is next level shit.” The guys in the room all gave a hooah.

“I like them,” Moore said quietly next to me. “I think we have something good here.”

“Agreed.” I kept my eyes on Gear.

Perez reached over and offered Gear a hand. “I know we were introduced, but I’m Chris Perez. I respect your answers about your family, by the way. I think it’s cool you included them in your decision. I only have a half-sister, and she’s eleven years younger, so we aren’t that close.”

“Thanks. Tommy Gear.” Gear took Perez’s hand and gave it a shake. “It’s mostly because my sister’s in a wheelchair, so I know my mom needs a lot of help. When I told her about the position I was being offered and that I might give up the idea to try out for this team because of my sister, she smacked some sense into me real fast. Said it was about time I started living for me.”

I glanced at Moore, and he felt it, too. Gear was the right kind of man we wanted for our team.

“That’s impressive.” Lee held his hand out to Gear. “I’m Steven Lee, “and I’m sorry for your sister.”

“She’s living her best life, and she’s super tough. She’ll be okay.” Gear smiled for the first time.

I turned off the camera, and Moore and I went back into the room to spend a little more time with our possible new team.

* * *

We were almost back at the house when Moore got a text message that made his face fall.

“Wow,” he huffed and texted something back.

“Are you gonna keep me in suspense?” I stopped at the first check-in and rolled down my window to give a face ID.

“Guess who asked to be transferred to Camp Green?” Moore sipped his coffee. “Dustin.”

“Dustin?” What?

“Yeah. And with his rank and at his age? That would only mean one thing.”

“Wants distance from Hill and Rivera.” I shook my head. “I wonder if that means Hill’s slipping even more.”

“My guess would be yes.” He held up his ID with mine at the second checkpoint.

“What the hell?” I caught sight of a flashy gold pendant when it slipped out from under his shirt. Moore said nothing as he tucked his ID into his bag. “Are you wearing Gadar?” I reached over, but he slapped my hand away with a laugh. “Don’t act like you don’t have some.”

“I mean I do, but I don’t wear it.” s**t, I still had a ton of Gadar gold left from Afghanistan. We sometimes used it to buy off the Taliban in sticky situations. It looked real but was actually just cheap stuff imported from India. It had saved our necks a few times.

“It’s a memory piece.” He patted his chest then rolled his eyes at my smirk.

“You look like a pimp,” I said, deadpan. “You look like the inside of Flavor Flav’s mouth. You look like LL Cool J’s gangster cousin twice removed.”

“Are you done?”

“No, I’ve got more.” I laughed, and he punched me in the shoulder. We used to make so much fun of the young Taliban men who liked to flash around their Gadar jewelry. They thought they were such hot s**t, but we all knew that fake gold only cost pennies.

“Before we go in, I wanna ask you for a favor.” I slowed the car as two soldiers walked by. They held up a hand, and we both waved.

“Sure, shoot.” Moore tucked his phone in his pocket and gave me his full attention.

“When I’m gone, keep an eye on Ivy, will ya? Have her six when she’s in town or off somewhere whenever you can. I need to know you’re with her when I’m over there.”

“We already have a date, so that won’t be a problem.” He grinned, and I eyed him. “We both agreed that we’re the most important people in your life, so we need to get to know one another better.”

“Oh.” I tilted my head at him and pondered if that was a good idea or not. “Just be careful, buddy. She can get inside your head without you even knowing it.”

He laughed. “Excellent. So many stories and only five days to share them all.”

“Remember story time works both ways,” I shot back, “but thanks. I need to know she’s okay.” I tapped the wheel and thought again.

“Are you second guessing going?”

“No,” I answered truthfully. “You and I both know I need to do this.”

“Yeah, we do, but does she? You need to make it right with Ivy before you leave. Going over there with any kind of s**t messing up your head is a recipe for disaster.”

“I know.” Huh. I suddenly realized that was one of the reasons I kept my family at arm’s length.

Once we parked, Doc Roberts met us at the door.

“Good morning, gentlemen.” He nursed a steamy cup of coffee. “Ty, Savannah says you’re looking for some hypnotherapy before you leave for Afghanistan?”

“I am, yes. Would you have any time for that?”

“Good plan,” Moore commented. “I know a lot of guys who find it helpful.”

“Yes, it’s becoming more and more popular.” The doctor smiled at Moore. “I have time now, actually, Ty. Shall we?” I handed Moore my files and followed Doc to his office.

I took a seat on the couch, feeling a bit anxious about what I was about to do. The idea of allowing someone to dig around in my subconscious made me uneasy, but I trusted the doc. After all, it was my idea. Hypnotherapy had been recommended to me more than once by guys I’d served with. Some found it useful when preparing for life after service, and others found it helped to clear their heads before a posting.

“Before we get started, I want to know how you’re feeling today in three words.” Doc’s voice was calm and low. I nodded and went with the truth.

“Nervous, excited, disconnected.”

“Interesting use of words today.” He scribbled on his tablet. “Let’s start with the first one. What are you nervous about?”

“I’m partly nervous about this trip to Afghanistan, which is odd, because normally I can’t get there soon enough.”

“All right.” He made a note of my answer. “Why do you think you’re nervous this time?”

“Because of…” I trailed off when I remembered who I was speaking to. Ivy’s uncle.

“Hmm,” he gave me a knowing smile, “you know.”

“I found out recently.”

“Then you should also know that when I’m in here, I’m your doctor. I leave all feelings for my family outside that door. I’ve done that for years and will continue to until I leave this profession.”

One thing I was sure of about Doc Roberts was that he didn’t lie. He was honest to a fault, and right now I needed that.

“Okay, I’m worried that if I leave, Ivy will think I’m choosing my own personal issues over her. She seemed upset when I talked to her about it.”

“Dr. Knight is an educated woman. This certainly wouldn’t be the first time she’s dealt with couples having to separate because of a mission. She’s often done couple’s therapy to help spouses who are upset the other has chosen to return to war.” He seemed to think for a moment. “I’m not saying she’s not upset, but I can promise you it’s not because she thinks you are choosing it over her.”

“Good to know.” I shifted on the cushion.

“You mentioned you were excited. Tell me about that.”

“I spent eight years in Afghanistan. I wanted to be there more than here in the States. I admit I love the idea of going back and living that life again, even if it’s only for forty-eight hours.”

“Good. Use that excitement when you go over there. That kind of controlled excitement is what you need to focus and get your job done.”

“Agreed.” I ran a hand through my hair while my chest tightened. “I’ve just never felt quite like this before. Like there’s a disconnect.”

“Okay, let’s talk about the disconnect. Elaborate for me.”

I couldn’t explain what I felt about that word. It was so tangled up in my head. My emotions were all over the place.

“I’m not sure I can.”

“Well, how do you feel inside when you think of that word?”

“Twisted and bent around something, like I can breathe but it hurts to.” I started to tap deeper into my feelings. “I hate the idea of hurting Ivy, but I need to go over there and figure this s**t out for not only Brown’s family but for me. I have no idea what I’m looking for or what I can bring back as evidence, but I need to try. I know if I don’t, I can’t move on. And if I can’t move on, I’ll lose her.” I looked over at him. “I can’t lose her, Doc.”

He nodded slightly but didn’t say a word, so I went on.

“I have two parents, and all they want to do is spend time with me. My sister and my niece moved here with my parents in hopes I’d give them a bit of my time, but I just can’t do that. So, I avoid them.” I inhaled sharply.

“But yet, this gorgeous, incredibly smart, funny, strong woman comes into my life, and suddenly everything changes. When she’s near me, I start to care about things I never did before. She makes me think about everything I do. Even about my family. She’s good for me, good for my soul. But I think I broke her last night when I told her I was leaving. I literally spun her off her axis. What does that say about me?”

“That you care that you hurt someone you care about.”

“Who I love,” I blurted, and my gaze snapped up to his.

“And there’s your answer.” He smiled warmly. “You’re disconnected from yourself because you don’t want to hurt or lose the woman you love.”

“Shit.” I leaned back, baffled by my confession. “What the hell do I do, Doc?”

“Tell her how you feel.” He closed his tablet. “Once you do, everything will smooth out inside.”

“If it doesn’t?”

“Well, that’s a risk you’re just going to have to take.”

“I don’t like those kinds of risks, Doc.”

“No one does,” he chuckled, “but that’s life.” My heartbeat sped up, and I tried to think about what I should do. “May I offer some advice from someone who has worked in this field longer than I care to share?”

“Please.” I gestured for him to go on.

“You need a clear head going over there, and that’s why you came to me for help, correct?” I nodded. “A clear head starts with a clear conscience. A clear conscience will be yours if you start with a young woman whose heart is just as vulnerable as yours. Tell her how you feel so if the unthinkable happens over there, you left Ivy with the knowledge she was loved. Who doesn’t want to know they are loved by someone?”

He was right. If I could give her anything in this world, it should be my love. She deserved that, at the very least. Everything inside me went calm, and I knew what I needed to do.

“I won’t lie, I’m terrified to even say those words. I’m afraid of that kind of commitment. I’m not sure if I’d be any good at it.”

“You never know ’til you try.” He smoothed his tie and stood, and I followed.

“I think I’ll skip that hypnosis.”

He smiled then moved to open the door and walked with me down the hall. “I’ll be here if you reconsider.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

“No, Ty,” he placed a hand on my shoulder, “thank you.” My brows pinched, confused on what he meant, but then I realized we weren’t in his office anymore and he was her uncle once again. “You’re good for her, too.”

“I think I needed to hear that.”

I smiled as I headed for the kitchen. As I walked past Cole, I caught him staring hard at his phone like he was trying to figure something out.

“Everything okay, Logan?”

“What the hell is that?” he muttered to himself. He obviously hadn’t even heard what I said, so I moved on and reached for the coffee pot.

“Hey, Savi.” I poured myself a coffee and followed her gaze toward Cole. “Have you seen Ivy?”

“No, but I know Keith has.”

“Where’s Keith?”

“With Ivy.” She, too, seemed a million miles away.

“So, Keith is with Ivy, but you don’t know where Ivy is?”

“Sure, I’ll get the cook to make that,” she murmured. I moved to stand next to her and watched her watch her husband.

“What is going on?”

“A new tracker apparently popped up on his radar.”

“Which means?” I prompted.

“All team Blackstone have trackers in their watches.” She stopped and thought about her words. “There’s a tiny pin embedded in the strap. It tracks their whereabouts when they’re in the field. They can turn it off when they’re on leave and whatnot. It’s not like they’re used to keep tabs on them that way.” She spoke quickly when I gave her a look. “They got them after Cole was…” She shook her head as if the memory hurt. “Anyway, there are six active trackers as of an hour ago.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Blackstone has five members.”

“Where’s the sixth tracker pinging from?”

“Mexico.”

“Could it be?” I didn’t want to say it, but I knew we both thought about Lexi.

“No, it’s impossible. Only five watches were ever made under Frank’s orders. They were given out by Cole himself to each member of the Blackstone team.”

“What does Cole think?”

“That’s the million-dollar question.” She stepped back and covered her face, as stressed as Cole seemed to be. “Don’t share what I told you with anyone yet. Cole needs to think. We don’t need any false hope right now.”

“I promise I won’t.”