Trusting My First Love

Chapter 22: Mixed

Matt's POV

By the way that Charlotte crept up to my room, it was obvious that she didn't like it. She just looked uncomfortable by the whole thing.

She was giving me so many mixed signals. I couldn't tell left from right anymore. I was fine either way. I just wanted her to figure it one way or another. Either keep us a secret or tell the whole damn world. I really didn't care.

I opened the door to my bedroom, and I thought she would get a little more uncomfortable or ask to leave almost immediately. Instead, I swear she was trying to stop herself from laughing. When she covered her mouth with her hand, I knew that's exactly what she was doing.

I was trying not to take offense to it. "What's so funny?"

She uncovered her mouth and rolled her lips together, but the smile still crept on her lips. "I would have never thought that Mr. perfect looking alpha would be such a slob. You

always look so clean and put together. Your room says the complete opposite."

Okay, yup, I was feeling a little offended. "It's not that bad."

She actually laughed out loud this time. "Matt, you can't be serious? Your floor is covered in clothes. There's books, magazines and dvd's everywhere. Don't even get me started about all the open containers of snacks on your table."

I was scowling at her. "Hey, I like options. I like to mix my snacks."

She started to shake head back and forth with a huge grin plastered on her face. "I'm sure that you do."

Why did it feel like she wasn't referring to the snacks. She was making a joke. While it was surprising in a good way, it actually made me worry that she really thought of me as a playboy, and I hated that.

I tossed one of my shirts at her. She instantly swatted it away before it hit her in the face. "Hey, now. I'm only teasing. It's actually refreshing to see that not every part of you is perfect."

I didn't like how she kept calling me perfect. It made me think that if she thought it, everyone else probably did, too. I tried to shrug it off by joking around just the same. "Well, don't tell anyone my secret. "

She closed her mouth and motioned with her hand that she was zipping her mouth shut.

She started to walk around my room to look at everything. I wasn't self-conscious when we were on our way up here, but I am now.

I remained oddly still. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until she asked me a question. "You really don't like me being up here, do you?"

I let out the breath I was holding. "No, I was the one who invited you up here."

She traced her fingers along my books. "Yeah, you did. It just doesn't explain why you basically stopped breathing for a second."

I was starting to stutter, which just isn't me. I've never had issues with talking. As the future alpha, my dad has made sure I can handle talking in front of large groups with as much confidence and clarity as I possible can. I just don't like it, and most people at school know I'm more of the silent type. Yet here I am, either saying more than I ever thought I would say or being a stuttering fool like I am now. "I.. I.. I, uh...I've never had a girl look at my things before. It's just different.... Okay, I've never had a girl in my actual room before."

She looked stunned. "That's surprising to hear. You know how rumors go around."

I sat down on the end of my bed, so my butt was resting on the frame. I wasn't about to admit that I would take girls to the guest room. I'm sure that wouldn't go over very well. "I try to ignore them. Most of them are only the half truth or so far-fetched that I'm not even sure how they were made up in the first place."

She came to sit next to me. "I know what you mean..... Matt, I think we should just be honest with Eddie... Just like I should have been honest with you."

What the hell did she mean about that? Was it about her family or her eyes? Did she know the truth the whole time? I felt my whole body tense up. "Okay, about what?"

Her body language matched mine. "I'm not sure if Eddie was trying to kiss me or not. He was acting strange. Truth is, I have no idea what his motives were. But I do think the three of us should sit down and talk about this. I don't like the idea of complicating your friendship or mine and his. I just want us all to be friends."

The very thought of him kissing her was hitting me in the worst way. A few days ago, I would have been all for the two of them getting together. All it took was one day for me to feel so completely different about it.

It wasn't fair for anyone involved. If I just admitted my feelings at least to myself, we wouldn't be in such a big shocking mess. I had no right to be mad. I knew how Eddie felt. Even before he made it known.

I relaxed my body. "You're probably right. You could have told me the truth earlier, you know?"

She nodded her head. "I know that I should have. I just didn't like the idea of upsetting you."

Those words were doing something to me. I felt tingles in the pit of my stomach. I liked the idea of her being worried about my feelings.

I put my arm around her shoulders. I was mentally prepared for her to shrug my arm off or to get up abrubtly, but she remained still next to me. I spoke quietly. "I know, Eddie. It's probably best for us to give him a few days to cool off. I bet you anything he takes off, and we won't see him for a few days. If he did try to kiss you, then he's probably hurt and embarrassed. He will just need a little time."

She seemed really unsure of giving Eddie time. It's like she wasn't sure if she should believe me or not.

She stood up off my bed, and my arm dropped to my side. She looked nervous all over again. "Well, we talked, so I should probably get going."

I wanted her to hang out longer. I didn't want her to go. I just didn't know how to tell her that without sounding desperate and pathetic. "Yeah, sure. Umm, did you want me to walk you home or something?"

She was trying to hide a grin again, which told me she was trying not to laugh in my expense. "I think I can manage. I know the secret way now. Getting out of here will be easy."

Well, she wasn't wrong. "Right, well, I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow. "

She started to walk to my bedroom door. "Yeah, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

She reached for the door handle and was on the brink of opening it. "HEY, do you think I could give you a ride to school tomorrow?"

I wanted to slap myself for how loud I got.

She let out a small chuckle. "Braya picks me up every day and takes me home. I let you today, but I don't want to make a habit out of it. My mom might get suspicious."

I was so disappointed. "Right, of course. I understand."

She lifted her hand up and gave me a small wave goodbye. Before I could think of another way to see her besides at school, she was out the door, and I was left standing there feeling empty.