ASSASSIN'S SANITY

CHAPTER 9

Present:

Tami sighed as she spat out the terrible taste of vomit from her mouth. She had been vomiting almost every morning now and she was feeling weaker than usual. She hoped it was not what she thought as she could not possibly be pregnant right now, that was not going to be good. She did not care if she died quite frankly but now that she was pregnant she cared a lot much.

The door opened up and a guard came in holding a child not more than seven. He was crying aloud and screaming obviously he was scared of big mean men carrying guns.

“Shut him up” The guard said, he looked pissed and frustrated “Please”

Tami took pity on the child and went to him. “Come on sweetie” The boy ran into her arms obviously preferring to be with her than the angry guards with guns. She held on to him patting him as he sobbed into her clothes. “You will be fine, don’t cry dear”

Patting him quiet Tami assured herself and him “We will get out of this alive.” She consoling the child probably growing in her belly.

☆☆☆

Past

“f**k you” Tami shouted pointing the gun at him.

Jeff knew she knew at this time that she had found out about him and his affiliation with the assassins. He knew she was angry but what he did not know was if she would actually pull that trigger. Over the years he had developed a lack of fear for death, that the barrel of a gun staring into his eyes did not have him shaken or scared.

“Today at work. I saw a picture one of the famous assassin plaguing the US and I saw his wrist. It’s the same as tattoo of my initials on your hand. It has the same self-made cuts.” Jeff sighed, how had he been sloppy enough to let a camera catch him, maybe it was fate? She said still pointing the gun at him “Tell me it isn't you, tell me you are not an Inferos assassin.”

Jeff contemplated lying but the lies did not slip out. He did not want to live a lie with the only true thing in his life. However he was sure that he would rather die than lose her. “I can't.” He replied

“But in Cuba you,” Tami paused, she suspected in Cuba but she let her p***y think for her, then soon her heart and now she was f****d. “You seemed innocent you said you were a photographer, you like taking shots…” The last word slipped out of her mouth slowly as she realised how stupid she had been. He had not even lied yet she chose to give him a lie in her head. “Did you know I was a cop?”

“Yes” He replied “So I let you…” She closed her eyes as she remembered all the things he had let him do to her body. Was it all a lie? “Why didn’t you just kill me?”

“I did not want to kill you, rather I wanted to throw you off, paint the picture of an innocent but troubled man so you would write me off as a suspect” Jeff explained “We have an insider in the FBI. I was informed.”

Tami let her hands drop to her side with the pistol still in her right hand “So it was all a lie? Did you even truly care for me? Was everything you said to me a lie?”

Was that really he issue? The fact that he may have never loved her that should not be her bone of contention. He was a murderer, an assassin.

“No” Jeff replied answered all her questions “I truly care about Tami. I did not expect to but I do. You are the one thing that does not make me feel like a f*****g beast, you keep me in check.”

“So you are saying since we have been together you have not assassinated anyone?” Tammy scoffed, hoping he would tell her, yes.

“Tami. I can’t lie anymore.” Jeff replied “So don’t will me to.”

“How did I get into this s**t?” Tami groaned turning away from him. She could not believe this.

“Tami I am messed up but that's what you love about me. One sick part in you does not hate the fact that I am an assassin. You had your doubts in Cuba but you were still quick to report back that I was not" Jeff replied, he tried to remain cool so as not to scare. If given the chance to attack her he would not, if she decided to shoot him at that point, he would just let her. He would not fight her and that was because he loved her to a terrible fault

Tami turned around to look at him, hoping her feelings towards him would change, willing hate to grow but nothing changed. She stood in the spot just staring at him as she took in everything he had said just letting it sink in, he was right. It sickened her to realise she was not angry because he was an assassin but rather because she believed he had been playing her. She realised it was the deceit that annoyed her and not the occupation. She realised she was messed up in the head for already forgiving him. She was sick for wanting to hold him rather than shoot him.

“You could shoot me right now and I would not stop you. You could call your colleagues and I will not run” Jeff replied looking vulnerable but still bold.

“Will you stop your line of work?” She asked as the tears she tried to hold back defiantly poured out “Will you change for me?”

“I leave the assassins I die.” Jeff replied “It makes no difference if you kill me here. It makes no difference if you don’t. If I leave the assassins or you turn me in now, I still die.”

Tami dropped her gun on the floor and turned to leave. She did not wait for him to say anything again, she just did not want to hear him talk anymore. He as well did not bother calling her back. She sighed as she grabbed her car keys and stepped out of the house. She needed space. She pulled out her phone from her pocket and dialled her father's number.

“Dad where are you?” She asked

“At the restaurant honey” Her father replied

“Can I come see you?” She let out a sob “I just really need some comfort.”

“Of course honey, are you alright” He inquired.

Tami avoided answering the question because she had no idea how she was supposed to explain everything to her father. “I will see you in some minutes” Was her only reply as she got into her car.

Why did it hurt her so much? She punched at her steering wheel and rested her head on it as she took deep breaths. Her mind was everywhere, some part of her wanted to go back into that apartment and finish him off, just kill the criminal but a larger part of her wanted to hold him and console him for finding himself in such a life but then again, he did not exactly hate the life.

In the next hour she was in her father's restaurant. It was his retirement plan, opening an all American restaurant and bar, where they sold Arabian, Nigerian and American Fast food, he was enjoying his life with his new black American wife, who also had Ghanaian and Nigerian decent. He father loved women of colour, African women to be precise.

The old man, whom age had been pretty lenient on was already seated at one of the tables waiting for her. Just like his daughter Mr Rashidi spotted dark brown eyes, she drew few of her looks from him but they behaved exactly the same. That was most of the reason why Tami and her mother were always at loggerheads.

“Tami” Zoey said hugging her. Tami figured that her father had told Zoey about her tone on phone. “I made you a cheese burger, fries and a milkshake it’s all in your dad's office. I just have some tables to round up and I will be there with you.”

Tami smiled thankfully. “Thanks Zoey”

Once Zoey was back at work, Mr Rashidi stood up and led his daughter into his office. It was small but lovely office with certificates and cooking trophies sitting on a neat shelf and a medium sized table in the middle of the room.

Tammi took a bite of her burger an as usual, it tasted heavenly. Zoey’s prized burger recipe was the best in the continent. Mr Rashidi always said that her charm rubbed off on her food. Zoey was a kind hearted easy going angel. She made sure Tami and her father had a good relationship and always accorded Tami's mother respect. It was admirable how was madly in love with her father Zoey was and Tami new it, not all young girls who married older men were gold diggers and Zoey proved that perfectly.

Zoey helped Tami's father with work and did not stay at home waiting to spend the old man’s money. Before opening a restaurant Tami’s father had worked in real estate, amassing a good amount of wealth.

Tami sighed as she took a sip from her milkshake. “Thank you Zoey” she said as her father kept his eyes peeled on her.

“You look like you've been crying, why?” Her father asked leaning forward on his chair and resting his hands on the table.

Tami opened her mouth to speak but realised that she could not tell her father. She sighed "I can't tell you but it’s about love, the way the heart works the way my heart works"

Her father sighed “I see, you feel your heart may be wrong in its choice of lover but you have been gushing about this same lover you have refused me to meet since Cuba.” He continued, “If it is anything to go by I believed you were awfully smitten.” He smiled “I say awfully because, you did not stop talking about him lord.”

“I didn't did I” She laughed

“Honey if you love a person, you love their faults and their flaws along with them. You love their baggage and if you can't fix it, you adapt.” He sat back “You learn to love the worst. Where the worst is too much for you, you leave.”

Tami smiled as she took a bite from her cheese burger. If her father knew what the true amount of baggage Jeff came with he would be giving a different advice but for some reason this advice although not what she needed was what she wanted. She wanted Jeff and her body and soul wanted him even with that dark, murderous and psychopathic part of him.