Could We Really Call It Love?

Meeting back up with Jordan

So, as I stated before, in order for you guys to understand everything completely, I have to take you back. I guess I'll start off with Jordan. So, when I first left college, I came back to our home state. Virignia. I never thought I would come back without my mother being there, and being back here without her made me miss Jordan. Way more than I thought I would! I mean it had been 4 years since I had seen Jordan. Why was I so bent on seeing him? I guess, no matter how long it had been, my soul knew that Jordan would always be my best friend. I didn't initially call Jordan or even text him once I moved back. Dumb ain't it? Well at the moment, I had so much that I had to do. My aunt Lisa has stayed at my mother's house for the last 3 years, and she was so depressed that she couldn't bring herself to store all my mother's things. So guess who had to fight through the tears to do it? You guessed it. Me! Surely, that was the perfect time for me to call Jordan. But I didn't have him with me when she first died, so I don't need him now. I packed up my mother's things for the first two weeks that I was home. The most depressing time of my life. Somehow, that hurt me more than her actual death. But, I needed to move on with my life. Bills weren't going to pay themselves. So after everything was done at home, I set out to find a job. I graduated with a degree in financing, and wound up getting a job as a finance manager at my local dealership. It's very rare that you go to college and then get a job with the degree you graduated with, but I did it. And that folks is how Jordan came back into my life.

I've been at Toyota for about 2 months now. I still haven't told Jordan that I'm back. I guess I just want to get my life in order first. Working here brings long-houred days but it's well worth the time that I spend not thinking about missing my mother. And one day it was about to be the most eventful day that I've had there thus far. " Welcome to Toyota. How can I help you?", said one of my co-workers. " Yes, I am looking for a new Camry xse. Do you guys have anything available on the lot?", said the familiar voice. I came out of my office to see the face behind the voice, and guess who it was? Yes, Jordan! I was so nervous, but I didn't think twice before I came out of my office. " I'd love to take over if you don't mind?" I said to my sales associate. It was so weird seeing Jordan now. I mean as a whole ass adult. Last time I saw him we were graduating from high school. He wasn't the handsome BOY from high school anymore, he was the handsome MAN now. And I wanted a piece of that, BAD. " Heyyyyy Jordan, omg long time no see. How have you been, my friend?" I said nervously as I gave him a hug. Ahhhh the hug. Jordan's cologne smelt so good it was breathtaking. As if just his looks hadn't already taken away my breath. His hug was so tight and it felt so safe and secure in his arms. This wasn't like the little one-armed hugs we used to give each other when we were younger. No, this was something else, it felt different. Almost sensual. I promise I didn't want to let go. " Hey Victoria, I've been good. I just moved back about two months ago. I didn't know you worked here. Hell, I didn't even know you came back to Virginia. It's good to see you here though. How do you like it?" he said with the prettiest smile I had ever seen. But I couldn't help thinking about why he has been here for two months yet hasn't tried to reach me? Does he not care about me anymore? Did I do something wrong to him? Or maybe he knows that I have been here for 2 and a half months and he's wondering the same thing. And, VICTORIA? He's always called me Vicky. He really called me by my full name like he didn't even know me! I knew exactly why I didn't reach out to him, but I would for damn sure love to know why this fool hadn't reached out to me. I started to feel myself getting upset but had to remind myself, no matter how I felt, I was still at work. " I love it here. I've been here about 2 months and I don't think there's anything here that I would change. I've also been back for 4 months now. I spent the first couple of weeks back getting all of my mother's items together. My aunt was too depressed to even eat, let alone gather all of my mother's things. Then I spent some time looking for a job, now here I am", I chuckled nervously. At first, I was't going to tell him how long I had been back. But, I wanted to see how he was going to react, knowing that I too had been back without contacting him. "Look, Victoria. I wanted to apologize to you. I wasn't there for you the way I should have been when aunty Rebecca died. I know this is no excuse, but we were in two different states. I couldn't just get up and leave to come comfort you, because I knew that if I did I wouldn't have left. I should have been a better friend to you. I knew you were back here in Virginia because your Aunt reached out to me. When I first got back, I used to sit in front of your house as a way to pay my respects to aunty Rebecca. One day, when I was visiting, your aunt was sitting on the porch. It was weird because I thought the house was abandoned. Your aunt hasn't seen me since I was a kid. Since your mom and her had that huge fight. When I reminded her of who I was, she embraced me with open arms. She was so frail and weak when I saw her. So I decided that every day I would go check on her and bring her meals to eat. I would wash her clothes and make sure to clean up the house. One day when I was getting up and ready to go over, she called and said that you were back home. I just knew in my heart that after all this time, the last person you wanted to see was me," he said with a sad but genuine tone. Now I really felt like an asshole and I didn't know how I was going to fix this one. " Well, Jordan, the one thing that I learned from the upsetting death of my mother, is that holding grudges is never worth it. I forgive you, but I also hope you can forgive me. The phone works both ways. The same way that you could have called to check on me, I could have called you when I was upset. I know my mom meant a lot to you as well. So I know that you were just as hurt as I was. I just felt like you should have been there more for me because she was my actual mom. But, I don't hold anything against you. I'm going to always be your Vicky. Now stop calling me Victoria." I said with a play punch to his arm, and then leaned in for one more hug. It felt so good to finally get that off my chest. I just did't know that moment was going to come that soon. I could have stayed mad, but where would that have gotten me? Nowhere but still without my best friend. " Well Vicky," he said as he was giving me a hug. " I'm so glad we both got to get those things out there to each other. You have always been my best friend and it was killing me that I felt like I couldn't check on you when your mom passed. Wheeww, a huge weight off of my shoulders." he said, sounding so relieved as he pulled away from our hug. " I feel exactly the same. Now, if you don't mind, I'd love to continue selling this car, I've had enough emotions for the day." I said with a huge laugh. Things were starting to feel like the old days between Jordan and I. So two hours later, Jordan was driving off of our lot in his brand new Camry. But, before he left, he asked me to come over for dinner. Omg I didn't know how to feel. I mean I still missed Cayden. But, when I was around Jordan, that really didn't matter.