Wrench

11 - A surprise for Mom

Wrench

“Mother, will you calm down.” It’s not a question; she’s been hyper all day. There’s something on her mind, but she won’t tell anybody what.

Dad thought maybe I could get through to her. He can’t. Hawk’s tried, even Roman’s tried. She won’t talk to them; she just keeps telling them that she knows they don’t care. It’s not like my mom; she never says things like that.

As I watch her scrubbing away at the kitchen counter, red-eyed from crying so damn much, I know it’s something serious.

I grab her arms, forcing her to look at me. “Tell me right now what the hell is wrong. You might be able to fob Dad and Hawk off, but I won’t let you do it to me.” I have a close bond with my mom. I’ve always been able to talk to her and her to me.

“Nobody remembered, Dominic,” A sob escapes her throat.

I hate seeing her like this; it’s just not like her. I know I’m a grown man now, but seeing my mother upset like this reminds me that I am still very much a child inside.

The necklace that hangs around her neck falls forward as she lowers her head and shi.t, I know what’s wrong with her, and I feel awful. No one forgot; we never would.

“I didn’t forget, Mom.”

She looks up at me with hope in her eyes. I grab her, pull her into my arms, and hold her tightly as she sobs.

All these years later, it still hurts her as if it were yesterday.

My mother had a miscarriage twelve years ago. She told no one but my dad until the day she could no longer keep it inside, and she told her best friend, Prez’s wife, Lynette. That very day was the day Lynette was kidnapped by her ex. The same day, Lynette found out she was pregnant. Both would have had little girls, both due around the same time. My mother named her daughter Destiny, keeping with the D names for her children.

However, Destiny didn’t make it past three months of gestation. My mother has never fully recovered from the loss, and every year, we have a little ceremony of sorts, just my mom, Dad, Hawk, Stryker, Coral, Roman, his mother, father, and younger sister, Dana, and me. Of course, Brooke since she came into my brother’s life.

This year?

Not one person mentioned anything to my mother, so why wouldn’t she believe we’d all forgotten?

The day usually starts as normal for all of us. Then we all meet up at lunchtime and eat together. At my mom's request, we pray for my sister afterward. We visit her little headstone in the Snakes private cemetery. There is no body, of course, but my dad had the headstone erected anyway, someplace for my mom to go so she could speak to her little girl whenever she felt like it.

After we’ve been there, we all drive down to my grandparent’s place. They’re getting on in years, and my mom always says it’s too much for them to travel to us. Not that they wouldn’t; my grandfather would do anything for his miracle child, as he calls my mother. Not that she was a miracle; they just had her late in life. We all let go of little pink balloons in their backyard for Destiny.

Probably sounds like a lot to do for a baby who never made it past three months inside her mother, but my mom means the world to all of us, and there is nothing we wouldn’t do to make her happy.

“It’s okay, Mom, everything will be okay.”

“How could Jack forget our baby girl, Dominic? How could he!”

Dad has really hurt her with this. She’s angrier with my dad than anyone else. I can’t blame her for that.

While holding my mom in my arms, I rattle off a quick text to my dad explaining what’s wrong with my mother and how disappointed I am in him. He shoots one back, telling me he forgot nothing, but we’re doing things a little differently this year, and he wants me to bring my mom to Destiny’s grave now.

I kiss her head. “Dry your eyes, Mom. No one’s forgotten Destiny, believe me. There’s somewhere we have to be. We’re doing things a little differently this year.”

She stares at me with narrow eyes but doesn’t question me; she takes my hand and follows me to my bike. Whatever my dad has planned, it better be good. He better have something special up his sleeve to make this up to my mom.

Don’t let her down, old man. This day means the world to her. Make it special.

* * *

I park my bike as close to my sister’s grave as I can. I jump off and help my mother down. Her mouth is hanging wide open, her eyes locked on the people surrounding my sister’s grave, my father, brother, Brooke, Stryker, Coral, Roman, Leah, grandparents, aunt, uncle, and half the damn MC. There are balloons everywhere, flowers, and a huge picnic table set out with so much food it would feed an army.

Soft music is playing from a small sound system next to the table. Everyone is watching my mother, gauging her reaction to what she’s seeing. She holds my hand tightly as I lead her toward her husband.

She reaches out her hand to him; he takes it and pulls her into his arms. No one could ever say my dad doesn’t love my mom because he loves her with a passion like none I’ve ever seen in my life.

“What’s going on, Jack?”

“Did you honestly think I’d forget our baby girl’s day? I would never, Taylor.” My dad strokes my mom’s face, tucking her wavy hair behind her ear. “You are everything to me. You have been since the day I met you. I am so sorry that I made you think I’d forgotten. I just wanted to do something special, and I thought it would be a nice surprise. I wasn’t thinking.”

My mother wraps her arms around his neck. He smiles and pulls her right against him and off her feet. She’s not short as such, but she’s shorter than my dad. “I love you, Jack.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

“Mommy!” Mom pulls away from Dad and smiles down at Dana. She looks adorable in her little pink dress, a balloon in her hand that she’s handing Mom.

Mom crouches down in front of her little girl and smiles. “Hi, baby.”

“Mommy, you sad?”

“I’m okay, baby girl. I’m not sad anymore because you’re here. Can I have a hug?” Dana nods, and I watch my mother holding her miracle child.

The day is spent at Destiny’s grave. We lay flowers and teddy bears like every year. We let off balloons, eat food, drink, laugh, cry, send up prayers. I watch along with everyone else as my mother sits on her knees in front of the grave and tells Destiny about her nephews, big brothers, baby sister, how much Mommy and Daddy love her, and how they’ll always be thinking about her.

My mother never has to worry about my father forgetting his daughter; he never will. I remember what it did to him when they lost her. I remember hearing him crying in his bathroom when my mother was out of the house. He’d never admit to it; my dad is a proud man, a strong man, a man who believes he should be strong for his wife and never show weakness in front of her.

I was a kid, but even I knew that he needed someone right at that moment in time. Hawk was out with his friends, and Mom had popped out to see the neighbor. I was supposed to be out playing with my friends, but I’d come home to get something. I can’t remember what now, but I followed the sound of my father’s anguish. I found him slumped on the floor of his bathroom, holding Destiny’s little blanket, one he’d bought the day he’d found out about my mom’s pregnancy. He was asking God why he’d do this to his Taylor. Even in his own grief, he thought of nothing but my mother and what she was going through. The way he was sobbing made my nose burn with emotion.

‘Dad?’ I’d been scared to say anything, but I couldn’t bear to see him like that. I was just a kid, and I knew how much he must have been hurting because I was hurting just as much. I blamed myself for Destiny and thought everyone else should, too. Seeing my dad like that, I thought that was my fault also.

He didn’t look at me. I don’t think he could stop himself from sobbing. I think the pain he’d been holding inside had finally cracked and broken free.

I slid to the floor on my knees. My dad was lying on his side. This big, strong man, who I thought was a superhero when I was a child, looked so broken at that moment.

I stroked his long hair. ‘Daddy, it’s okay, I’m here.’ I tried to soothe him, but nothing I said or did snapped him out of it.

In the end, I ran from the house to find my mother. I was so upset that my mom thought I’d hurt myself. She rushed home, following me. As soon as she saw my dad on that bathroom floor, she dropped down beside him.

Mom held strong for Dad that day. She dragged his big body up against hers, and she held him so tightly while letting him cry, and he cried for an age, it seemed.

When his tears finally stopped, he lifted and grabbed my mom’s face and said, ‘I’m so sorry, my beautiful girl. I’m so sorry.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. This wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t mine. It just happened, Jack. You don’t need to be sorry for finally letting out the pain you feel, either. You needed this, Jack. Destiny is gone, but we still have our boys; we still have each other.’

‘Dominic.’ His voice was a whisper, but I knew he realized at that moment that I was there, and I knew he felt ashamed for crying in front of me.

His eyes locked with mine, and I would be a liar if I said I hadn’t been crying. I had because I was scared that something was wrong with my dad. It wasn’t until my mom mentioned my sister’s name that I knew what was wrong with him.

He held his hand out to me. ‘Come here, my boy.’

I took his hand and got to my knees beside him. Dad held me, and my mom held us both. He kissed my head and repeatedly told me how much he loved me, Hawk, Stryker, and my mother and how he’d never let anything happen to us.

I never saw my father cry again after that day. It was as if once it was out, it was gone, never to be repeated. I thought I saw a tear in his eye the day he finally realized the guilt I’d been hiding from everyone. One stupid mistake when I was thirteen led to my mother losing her baby. At least, I thought it was my fault. Dad made me see that when I knocked into my mother that day and when my arm caught her stomach, it wasn’t forceful enough to cause a miscarriage. I’m not sure I fully believe I didn’t cause it, but Dad helped me let go of the pain, and I finally felt better about things.

“Hey,” I smile at Dad as he touches my arm, bringing me back to the present. “You all right?”

I grab him and wrap my arms around him. “I love you, Dad.”

He clasps the back of my head and tells me, “I love you, too, son. My pride and joy, you are.”

Crazy, isn’t it?

Big bad bikers hugging and telling each other they love one another, but we ain’t dead in the heart; we know how to love. My dad taught me to love my family unashamedly. Most would say that makes us weak, but you’re only as weak as you portray yourself.

I wish I knew how to handle what I’m already starting to feel for Elie. That will turn out to be my weakness; I can see it now.