Wrench

14 - I am your mother, Elie

Coral

We find Elie at her hotel. I had no idea if she would be here, but I knew where she was staying. I had followed her a while ago. I wanted to ensure I knew where she was if ever she needed me. She’s shocked to see us but allows us to enter her room.

The room is nothing special but the average hotel room, bed, dresser, and bathroom. Like I said, nothing special.

She looks beautiful dressed in jeans and a cream blouse with a cute little belt around the waist, showing off her slim waist and perfect curves. Her blonde hair is tied in a low ponytail, and her makeup is light. Right now, she reminds me so much of myself; it makes my heart ache. At least she doesn’t look anything like the monster who helped create her. That is beyond a blessing.

God, I have waited for this moment since I gave her up. I should have tried harder to talk to her, but I was terrified she would reject me. I have been a coward, and I can no longer be so. My child needed me.

I watch Elie slowly and curiously sit in the armchair beside the window. Stryker and I are sitting side by side on the small couch opposite. I clutch my husband’s hand for support because this is going to be so hard. My heart is pounding around breaking, and I honestly feel very sick right now.

“What can I do for you?” Elie asks.

She looks really nervous, and I see what she’s done in her eyes. What Stryker told me about Elie asking Nova for help destroying Hammer is true, and it crushes me to think that I let this happen. If only I’d tried harder to make her listen to me. If I had, this wouldn’t have happened because I could have explained everything. I will never forgive myself for not trying harder.

I cannot let Shepard harm her, and he will. If he finds out what she did, he will kill her while making an example of her. A good man, he might be, but he won’t allow anyone to get away with threatening his boys.

“I wanted to talk to you about Cindy.” I swallow hard as her nostrils flare. “I know you came here looking for your birth mother.”

“And I found her in the ground!” Her eyes are like fire. I have never seen such anger in such a young girl’s eyes before. She doesn’t get that from me.

Stryker squeezes my hand, giving me the strength to tell Elie what I came here to tell her. “You didn’t find your mother in the ground, Elisha, because Cindy wasn’t your mother.” Her eyes narrow, and her mouth opens to speak, but I can’t let her because I never will if I don’t get this out now. “I am your mother, Elie.”

Her eyes dart from side to side, and her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. She shakes her head and gets out of her seat, turning away from me.

I look at Stryker for a second; he nods and kisses my forehead. I have to be strong here. My little girl is just nineteen years old, and she needs me. I need to fix the mess she’s unwittingly gotten herself in.

I get to my feet on shaky legs and make my way toward the daughter I have pined for since the day I had to hand her over to Shepard, who then gave her to the people who became her parents.

“Elie?” I touch her shoulder, and she turns to face me, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“This can’t be true. I was told that Cindy was my mother. I saw her grave.”

“You didn’t read her birth date, Elie. She wasn’t yet eleven years old when you were born. She couldn’t have been your mother. You’re my little girl, Elie.”

My stomach turns as she holds her head in her hands and cries. I did this to her, and it is killing me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I expected anger for Elie to blow up at me, but there is no anger in her words right now. “Oh, God. That’s what you were trying to tell me in the restroom that day. Isn’t it?”

I nod my head.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t try harder to tell you. I wanted to, but you have been avoiding me. I didn’t want to force myself on you, but I should have. I should have also tried to make you understand why I couldn’t keep you.”

“I know why. I read your letter.” The letter. Good, they did give it to her. I never thought they would. “God, I don’t know what to think.”

I grab her face in my hands. I need to get through to her, and now. “I have always loved you, Elisha, but my parents wouldn’t allow me to keep you. I was just thirteen years old. They didn’t think I could cope with a baby at that age. However, they made sure you went to a good family. They were good to you, weren’t they?” Elie nods, and I don’t know who’s crying more, Elie or me. Both our faces are soaked in tears. “Please don’t hate me, sweetheart.”

“What?” She narrows her eyes through her tears. “You think I hate you? I have never hated you. I have loved you my whole life.”

I swallow back my emotions.

“I was always told how you gave me up because you wanted the best for me. You were a child, and I understand that you wouldn’t have been able to care for me. So I spent my life dreaming about you and the day I’d come and find you. How you’d hold me and tell me how much you loved me, and how I’d tell you that I loved you, too.

“But you have no idea what it did to me inside coming here and finding that grave. No one ever told me your name. All I knew was that it began with a C. Then my brother gave up your surname, so naturally, I thought Cindy was my mom when the old lady at the diner downtown told me about her, how she died, and all that. I died inside the day I saw that grave.”

I lower my head and cry. I did that to her, and it kills me like nothing ever has before.

“Please look at me.” I do; I look her right in the eye. “I can let go of that pain now,” She takes my hands, and my breath is held. “My mom isn’t dead; she’s right here in front of me.”

“And she loves you so much.” I grab her and hold her close to me.

Over nineteen years, I have longed for this moment. For over nineteen years, I have been without my baby. For almost twelve years, I have cried in my husband’s arms over the little girl I wished I had never given away. For four years, I have held my son and told him all about his big sister and how, one day, we’ll be together again. Now, it’s all coming true. I have my baby girl finally in my arms, and I am never letting go again.

“I love you.” She whispers in my ear, and it’s like music to my heart.

I stroke her face, and she giggles. Her little hands are clutching at my hips like she doesn’t want to let go any time soon, and that feels so damn good right now. “There’s something else we need to talk about.”

“Oh?”

I sense my husband getting to his feet and making his way over to us. “Yes. The fact you paid someone to paralyze Hammer.”