My Soulmate is Not My Type

Chapter 2: Envious

I stand stiffly beside Jae and the new potential idol, Ember. I try to ignore the whispering, giggling, and seductive body language as I clutch the stack of papers to my chest and pray for the elevator to reach the fifth floor. My eyes wander to her every so often and I take in her appearance. Her body is lithe and athletic, skin a smooth mocha with perfect make-up, and a head full of thick, black hair pulled into a ponytail. Her crop-top white shirt reveals a smooth stomach, and her low-rise jeans hug her hips snuggly. Off-white dagger pumps complete the look, and makes her about Jae’s height, but about an inch too short. In other words, she is stunning.

I hate beating a dead horse, but when I look in the elevator mirrors, I can’t help but compare myself to her. I have a small, round head, a short neck, and chubby cheeks. My hair is secured into an afro puff by a shoestring at the top of my head. My shapewear barely conceals the love handles and back fat in my purple blouse, while my black slacks make my hips look bigger than they did this morning when I changed outfits for the sixth time. But I must say, my triple D boobs look pretty nice and my butt is nicely round. Of course, the pumps I’m wearing might be giving my butt a little help. The bra is also doing its job lifting and cupping. I always have to remind myself that I may be big, but I could be bigger. If it weren’t for the bullying, nitpicking mother, and perfect bodied little sister, I may actually like myself a little more. But those are just excuses. At the end of the day, I’m responsible for my insecurities and I’ve taken no steps to change them. I’m just envious, I guess. I clutch the papers a little tighter and sigh softly. I hate that I hate myself.

The doors finally open and my reflection splits from theirs. I let out a soft laugh at the irony of our images drawing apart. My place in his world given a visual representation. We are in the same space, but always apart. They step off and I follow. I keep a decent amount of distance from them to avoid bumping into either of them with my paperwork. She puts a dainty hand on his shoulder and whispers something in his ear. He smirks and puts his hand on her waist, pulling her closer. He says something back to her and her ears turn a little darker. She gives him a playful smack, but makes no moves to step away. I fall a little further back to give them more room as my heart beats unsteadily in my chest. I should be a little used to this by now, right?

“Miyah, hurry up!” Jae calls over his shoulder and I realize they had made it to the conference room door. I hustle to join them only to have the heel of my shoe snag on the carpet. I fall onto the floor and a sharp pain shoots from my ankle up my leg. The papers are falling like snow around me and I feel the quick rush of humiliation. I hear the first few sounds of laughter, Ember’s being the loudest, followed by a few people asking if I’m okay. I hold back the tears in my eyes and try to ignore the stabbing pain in my ankle as I begin to gather the fallen papers.

I reach for a stack and see them snatched up. Jae is kneeling there with anger on his face. “What the hell were you spacing out for? Damn, it’s going to take forever to put these back in order.” He continued to curse in Korean and the tears spilled from my eyes before I could stop them. My ankle hurts, my feelings hurt, and my shoe is missing. I swipe the tears away as quickly as I can, but not quick enough for him not to notice, “Are you seriously crying right now? I should be the one crying! We have a meeting with producers for Ember’s debut in twenty minutes, yet I am here cleaning up the mess you made! Get your ass in gear and get these damn papers straight!” He shoves the stack he has in his hand at one of the male employees standing next to him and tries to pull me to my feet. My ankle twists from the momentum of his pull and I cry out in pain. He releases me instantly and I collapse back onto the floor. “What the f**k?” He mutters.

“My…my ankle.” I sob softly. Two male models help me to my feet and a female employee pulls a chair over for me to sit on. I pull my pants leg up to reveal my slowly swelling ankle. More tears stream down my face. Not because of the pain or the humiliation, but because of the fact that my ankle is getting fatter. Priorities.

“What’s going on here?” James, the CEO, asks pushing through the crowd until he reaches me. He sees my ankle and lets out a small wince. “Someone get her some ice.” He kneels in front of me and offers me his handkerchief, “Mymy, are you okay?” James has always been nice to me. Despite his status, he maintains his humble attitude and concern for his employees.

I fell and twisted my ankle. I’m sorry.” I say in a small voice. Someone hands him an ice pack and he places it gently on my leg. I flinch away from the cold, but it slowly starts to make my ankle feel a little better.

“It might be broken.” He says pressing gently at the swelling flesh. I gasp and he instantly stops touching it. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“There’s no need for that! You’re busy and you have a meeting in less than 10 minutes! I’ll take a taxi.” I frantically try to find my other shoe, which is placed in my lap by Ashely, a good friend of mine from marketing.

“Don’t be ridiculous. How will you make it there on your own?” He says, pulling his phone out of his pocket. I hear Wanda’s voice over the receiver and I feel pitiful as he asks her to take over the meetings for the day. I can almost feel her irritation through the phone making me feel even worse.

“James, seriously, I can go myself. I’m tougher than I look.” I give him a small smile and begin to rise to my feet carefully.

“At least take off the other shoe, sis!” Ashley shouts and I sit once more allowing her to remove it. The small crowd has begun to disperse now that the situation is under control, or no longer funny. They return to their business, telling me to take care of myself in passing, or ignoring me all together.

“I always say fat women shouldn’t wear heels.” I hear Ember mutter as she passes me to stand by Jae.

“I always say dumbasses should lose their right to speak, but no one gives a damn about that either.” Ashley interjects. Ember takes a step towards her and Ashley grins, ready for the fight. Ashley is a blackbelt in two types of martial arts. Ember would get her ass floored instantly.

Jae steps between them and puts his hand on Ember’s waist, “Calm down, Beautiful. We don’t have time for this nonsense.” He gives me a glare before turning to James, “I’ll take her to the hospital. You have more important things to do than worry about a glorified secretary.”

“Jae…” James’ voice drips with warning, but Jae just shrugs. I can see the vein in James’ temple throb, but he lets out a sigh and motions for us to get going. The shame creeps back in and I rise to my feet, careful to avoid pressure on my right foot.

“But Jaeeeee, you promised to be in the meeting with me.” Ember whines and clings to his arm.

“You’ll be fine on your own. Besides, you have more confidence in your fingernail than most people have in their whole body.” His eyes dart to me for a moment and I feel fresh tears bubbling up. James leads Ember back to the conference room and the two models that helped me into a chair help me limp to the elevator. Jae presses the button a little more aggressively than needed and mutters a line of words I don’t understand. The elevator arrives and five of our leading producers step off. The man in the lead, Mr. Jaylen Malik, grins at Jae and shakes his hand.

“Hey, my guy! Where you goin?” He asks, hooking his arm around Jae’s shoulder. The others mutter a quick greeting and head off to the meeting room.

“I have something to do right quick. Take care of my girl, though. She might be the next Beyonce.” He smirks and places his hand on the elevator door to keep it from closing. Myself and the models, whom I now know as Curin and Ali, enter the elevator. Ali holds the door's open button until Jae finishes his conversation. Jaylen whispers something in Jae’s ear and Jae gives a mischievous grin before entering the elevator. The last thing we hear as the doors close is Jaylen laughing.