Raven's POV
WTF?
That was the only thought running through my head. Mate? I stood there, frozen, as the world seemed to slow down around me. I reached inward, my mind racing. Eva, are you sure? I asked, my voice trembling.
I could practically feel Eva rolling her eyes at me. She gave a huff of annoyance, as if to say, Really, Raven? After all this time, you’re going to doubt your own nose? I knew she was right. I could feel the pull in my chest tightening with every step he took toward the pack house. But I didn't know how to take it.
I felt a rush of heat in my cheeks, a mix of terror and a tiny, sheepish spark of hope. Why would the Moon Goddess do this to me? Gary was the Alpha’s son. He was destined to lead this pack before the end of the year. He was like royalty, and I was just one of the Omegas.
Still, I couldn't help it. I stared at him, taking in his strong jaw and the way he carried himself. Suddenly, his eyes began to sweep over the yard. My heart nearly jumped out of my throat, and I quickly ducked behind a tall shrub.
Why am I hiding? I scolded myself.
I realized then that the wind was blowing in my direction. The cool breeze was carrying his scent straight to me, but it wasn't carrying my scent to him yet. I wondered what I would smell like to him. Would he like it? Then I caught myself. Raven, stop it, I thought. An hour ago, you didn't even care about finding a mate. Don't start acting like a lovesick puppy now.
Gary was at the heavy front doors of the pack house now, but suddenly, he stopped. He looked confused for a second, his head tilting to the side. Then, his eyes flashed a brilliant, piercing green—the color of his wolf. His nose went up, sniffing the air, and he started looking around like he was searching for a hidden treasure.
I’m right here, dear mate, I thought, a small, nervous giggle bubbling up in my mind. Up close, he was even more handsome and well-built than I remembered. He looked like he could take on the world.
He started walking, heading straight for the garden. His future Beta, Larry, was following close behind him. I gasped and quickly lowered my head, my hair falling over my face like a curtain.
“Raven, look!” Diane whispered harshly beside me. Her voice was shaking. “The Alpha’s son is coming right toward us. Oh goddess, are we in trouble? Did we do something wrong?”
I just shrugged my shoulders, unable to find my words. In mere moments, the sun was blocked out by a shadow. I looked at the grass near my feet, seeing two pairs of expensive boots. I slowly lifted my head.
Gary was standing right in front of me. For a second, he just stared. His eyes were wide, and he looked like he was in total awe, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. My heart soared. Maybe, just maybe, the bond was stronger than rank.
But then, the spell broke. His face twisted, turning from awe into absolute repulsion. It was like he had just realized he was looking at a piece of trash.
“An Omega?” he spat. The word sounded like a curse.
I looked up at him, my mouth opening to say something, anything, but he snapped before I could get a word out.
“Lower your eyes when you address me!” he barked.
I flinched and immediately looked back at the dirt. “Yes, sir,” I said quietly. My voice was small and shaky. I could feel the tears already stinging the backs of my eyes, but I told myself to be strong. I wouldn't cry in front of the crowd that was already starting to gather. Everyone was watching us now. Even Alpha Hilton had come out of the pack house to see what the commotion was about.
“When did you have your first shift?” Gary asked. His voice was cold, like he was interviewing a criminal.
Yeah, go ahead and air my dirty laundry, I thought bitterly. But I answered him. “Three years ago, sir.”
“And who are your parents?”
“I don't know,” I whispered.
Gary let out an incredulous laugh, looking over at Larry. It was like he thought this was a cruel joke played by the heavens. “You have no social standing, you shifted way too late, and you’re a lowly Omega,” he said, more to himself than to me.
Larry didn't help. He just stood there with a smug look on his face, shaking his head in disgust.
“This is an absolute embarrassment,” Gary said loudly, making sure the whole pack could hear him. “My Luna is supposed to be strong, beautiful, and of a respectable status. I need a woman who can lead beside me, not… this”
I wanted to tell him that I could be whatever he needed. I wanted to tell him I was smart and hard-working. But he held up a hand, his eyes steeled and hard as flint.
“What is your name?” he demanded.
My lips started to wobble. In the back of my mind, Eva began to howl a long, mournful sound that made my chest ache. I knew what was coming. I knew he wanted my name so he could say the words that would break me.
“Raven Crowley,” I answered.
Gary took a step back, standing tall so everyone could see his authority. “I, Gary Inker, reject you, Raven Crowley, as my mate and Luna. This decision I make willfully and of a sound mind.”
A collective gasp went up from the crowd. Beside me, I heard Diane whisper a shocked, “What?”
I let out a long, resigned sigh. I had always known deep down that this would happen. Why did I let myself be hopeful even for a second?
Then, the pain hit. It was a mind-numbing ripple that tore through my soul and my wolf. Eva whined painfully, a sound of irredeemable loss that made me feel like I was being physically ripped apart. My heart ached so badly that I felt breathless, but I gripped my skirt tightly. I refused to crumble to the ground. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
I looked toward Alpha Hilton. He was the man who had taken me in when I was an abandoned baby, despite my unknown origins. He had always been decent to me. But to my crushing disappointment, he just stood there. He stared at me with a look that said this was just the way things had to be. I guess I was good enough to be a pack member, but never a Luna.
I cleared my throat and looked Gary in the eye. My voice was firm. “I, Raven Crowley, accept your rejection, Gary Inker. This decision I make willfully and of a sound mind.”
Gary looked shocked. He actually looked annoyed probably because I hadn't fallen to my knees and begged him to keep me. He huffed, looking offended that I had matched his resolve, and then he turned on his heel and walked off.
“Everyone back to your posts!” Miss Freya shouted, her voice cutting through the silence. “The show is over! Get back to work!”
The crowd scattered, though I could feel plenty of eyes lingering on my back. Diane and I sat back down in our previous spot. She was quiet for a long time, just watching me.
“Are you okay?” she finally asked softly.
I nodded, staring at a patch of clover. “I will be.” I tried to force a small smile. “That’s what happens when you get too hopeful, I guess. Not to dash your own hopes, though.”
We both let out a sad, hollow laugh. We got up and finished our work in silence, the weight of the rejection hanging over me like a dark cloud. When night finally came, I went to the dining hall to get my dinner. I could barely taste the food, but I forced myself to eat every bite. I knew I needed the strength to survive this life.
Eva had been silent since the garden. Hey, I whispered to her.
Hey, she replied, her voice sounding tired.
How are you holding up?
Bad, Eva admitted. But I know there’s a reason this happened. The Goddess wouldn't just hurt us for no reason. I won't be upset forever.
I smiled a little. That’s the spirit.
I want to go for a run, Eva said suddenly.
I looked out the window. It was already dark, and I didn't know if the guards would let me out, but I told her I’d try. I finished my meal and walked across the large compound toward the gate.
The Inker Pack territory was impressive. The main house could hold sixty people, and there were dozens of smaller houses for families. We had an infirmary, a farm, and a garden, all surrounded by a massive fence. Beyond that fence were miles and miles of woods.
I reached the gate and saw a guard with a friendly, familiar face. “I want to go for a run for a while,” I told him.
He smiled at me, a bit of pity in his eyes. He must have heard what happened. “Sure, Raven. Just stay safe out there.” He opened the small side gate for me, and I stepped out into the cool night air.
It was so peaceful out here. The silence of the forest felt comforting. I went behind a large oak tree and took off my clothes, folding them neatly so I could find them later. I gave the reins over to Eva.
The shift happened fast. My bones cracked and reset, and within seconds, I was standing on four paws. I was a small wolf, reddish-brown in color, almost like a deep wine. It was an unusual color, but I was super fast.
I took off into the trees, my paws thumping against the dirt. My heart felt like it was breaking all over again, and as I ran, I let out a long, piercing howl, sending all my pain and rejection up into the stars.