Chapter 19
1491 Words
19
The familiarity of the woman’s face plagued Sam for the next couple of days. She was surprised she even had that extra time to think about it but it seemed like she’d manage to spark Lilith’s intrigue. Not that she blamed the other woman. There was something irresistible about unravelling something that didn’t want to be unravelled. To make sense of the unknown. An addiction in itself.
That or she was humouring her.
“What are we looking for again?” Lilith whined as she examined herself in a window reflection.
Samantha sighed. “A nice cot that’s not too expensive.”
“I don’t understand why we’re shopping for Catalina. Can’t she do that herself?”
“You didn’t have to come along,” Sam pointed out as she paused in front of another baby store and peered inside. “This looks nice.”
She didn’t pay much attention to Lilith’s grumbling and turned into the shop. If the other woman didn’t want to be here, she wouldn’t be. And yet, she’d jumped at the chance of shopping.
A small part of Samantha feared she came along because she wanted to be near her, but another part hoped that was why. Conflicted, she distracted herself with a stuffed elephant.
“Isn’t that cute?”
Lilith clicked her tongue. “Elephants are weird.”
“Why?” Sam wobbled the stuffed animal. “Hello, I’ve got a trunk.”
She earned another weird look and set the animal down. As much as she wanted to pretend like Lilith’s opinion didn’t matter… it did.
“What about this?” she proposed, grabbing a wooden train from the shelf.
“I thought we were buying a bed,” Lilith replied dryly.
“Yes, but some toys won’t go amiss. A kid needs toys.”
“A kid needs a home and Catalina is definitely not that.”
Sam lowered the train. “I know that, but what can we do about it? It’s not like we can go to the police.”
“True…” Lilith grabbed a colourful bib and held it up. “Hey, this is nice. What kid doesn’t want a cape?”
“That goes in the front. It’s to catch food and throw-up.”
Lilith dropped the bib. “Ew.”
“You’re impossible,” Sam mumbled as she picked up the item and put it back. “Oh, I see beds in the back.”
“Finally. Hey, did you figure out why the woman looked so familiar to you?”
Sam shook her head. “No. I keep seeing her face and that mole, but I can’t place it. It’s really frustrating. What do you think of this cot?”
“They all look the same to me.”
“Hmm…” Sam ran her hands down the spokes of the bed. “This is nice wood.”
Lilith choked on a snort. “That’s what she said.”
“Really?”
“Ah, come on, who doesn’t love a good p***s joke?”
“Lesbians.”
“I like a good p***s joke. Then again, I’m not a lesbian.”
A lump formed in Sam’s throat, but she managed to keep her tone casual. “Oh, really? How do you define then?”
“I don’t like labels.” Lilith wandered through the rows of beds, her hands dancing from railing to railing. She paused near a dreamcatcher and looked back with a smile playing on her lips. “I just like people.”
“Oh.” Sam pretended not to care but inside her stomach, butterflies came to life. She’d always assumed Lilith liked women but now she knew for sure… Maybe…?
“Although lately I haven’t really been looking around. I’ve already got my eye on someone,” Lilith said, smashing any fragile hopes Sam had.
“Right…” She turned away, pretending to look at a pillow. “I didn’t realise you were dating someone.”
“I don’t think she knows either,” Lilith joked. “No, I’m kidding. It’s been amazing getting to know her. Hey, this bed is nice too. It has blankets with moons.”
“Cool, cool.” To cover her disappointment, Sam patted the cot. “But this one will do. I’ll go talk to the shop assistant.”
Eager to escape the other woman, she coursed to the check-out to chat with one of the assistants. He asked a bunch of questions but Samantha no longer cared. It didn’t really matter anymore, not when she just wanted to get out and away.
Damn it.
This was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid. What happened? Over the course of a couple of days, she’d started to look differently at Lilith and despite her will, hope had been building inside her heart. And now she knew Lilith was already involved with someone, it all came crashing down
She finalised the sale and rushed out of the store, not checking whether Lilith was keeping up or not. Blinded by a rush of emotions, she just kept going.
“Hey!” A hand grabbed her wrist and brought her to a halt. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just remembered I have something else I need to do.”
“You just stormed out. Did that assistant say something to you?”
Sam yanked her arm free. “No, it’s not that. I just have to go, okay? I’ll see you later.”
She didn’t have any right to be so upset, but that didn’t stop her from feeling how she felt. She just needed to get away from Lilith.
With her hands clenched, she tried to escape but the other woman wouldn’t let her. Confusion knitted Lilith’s eyebrows together as she blocked her path.
“What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” Samantha exclaimed, a little too quick. “No, of course not. I told you, I have another errand.”
“You’re lying to me again.”
“I’m not.” Sam averted her eyes, but she felt Lilith’s gaze bore into her. Unable to contain herself, she exploded. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you own me or something.”
“What?” Lilith scoffed. “What the f**k are you talking about?”
Samantha knew she was digging herself a hole but she couldn’t stop. “I’m not your property, okay? I don’t have to tell you everything I do every second of every day!”
“I didn’t— f**k, Sam! That’s not why I asked!”
Lilith seemed insulted by her accusation, but Sam didn’t know how to diffuse the situation. She’d never been good at that, something she was sure Melissa would agree to.
She let out a tense breath. “Just leave me alone, okay?”
“Jeez, you should be careful when you sit down.”
Sam pulled a face. “What?”
“You might hurt yourself with that stick up your ass,” Lilith sneered. She threw her long hair over her shoulder and snapped her head back. Hurt flitted through her eyes as she stormed off. “f**k you!”
Guilt lashed through Sam but it was too late. Lilith was gone.
She let out a frustrated scream and kicked a lamp post. Immediate pain punished her stupidity and she hopped around, disturbing a young man and two old ladies. They glared at her as she tried to hold her tears back.
“Samantha?”
She didn’t even have to look to recognise the voice. After all the years, she critiqued herself with that voice.
With a sigh, she turned around to look for the familiar face in the crowd. She was already done and the conversation hadn’t even started. “Melissa.”
“What are you doing here?” Her ex-wife halted in the middle of the sidewalk and looked up at the name of the store. “Don’t tell me you’re buying baby toys.”
“So what if I was?” she snarled. A couple of cars raced past them, leaving the bitter smell of smoke and tar.
“Oh. Moody,” Melissa noted. “You usually only get this upset over work.”
Strangely enough, her observation calmed Samantha down. “You’re right… I don’t know what came over me.”
“Want to grab a coffee to talk about it?” She gestured vaguely at a couple of shops further down the street. “I’m on a break.”
“Isn’t that weird?”
“Only if we make it weird. You’ve already snapped at me, so it just feels like when we were married.”
Sam picked at her jacket and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”
“You’re already apologising?” Melissa blinked slowly. “Now that’s weird. Usually it takes you a lot longer.”
“I’m trying to be a better version of myself,” she said while stepping aside to let a couple through. This was why people didn’t have conversations in the middle of the street.
After they had passed, Melissa bridged the gap between them and joined her against the wall of the store. “Really? What brought that on?”
The answer was simple. Lilith.
Sam stared at the direction she’d disappeared in, more guilt lacing through her. Her outburst had been really unfair and she needed to fix it as soon as possible. Regardless of who Lilith dated, she didn’t want to lose her.
“Sam?” Melissa waved a hand in front of her face. “Coffee?”
“Actually, I can’t. I need to fix something.”
She shot her ex-wife an apologetic smile as she darted after Lilith. She made her way down the street, passing multiple people who glared at her frantic state, but she didn’t care. Her first priority was to apologise to Lilith and make things right again. She should’ve done that straight away.
At the end of the long lane, she stopped at crossroads with no sign of Lilith anywhere. A gust of wind tugged on Sam’s jacket and carried the smell of fresh waffles from a little stall she just passed. She inhaled deeply but wasn’t able to enjoy the sweet scent. Instead, she wiped the sweat off her forehead and looked in either direction. Now what?
- Writer
