Chapter one: I brought av vibrator to work
724 Words
Monday decided to be cinematic, and Naomi showed up as the punchline.
Her Uber was crawling through traffic like it has beef with the gas pedal, her patience thinner
than her eye-liner. She grabbed the same bag she partied with during the weekend. Did she
check it? Nope. Why? Because bad decisions are her brand.
Her boss was deep into one of his motivational talks by the time she entered the conference
room, the kind that makes you question your life choices while fantasizing about mint
chocolate chip ice cream.
That was exactly what was on her mind as she sat quietly trying her best to avoid eye
contact with everybody.
She reached into her bag for a pen, her hand found something sleek, suspiciously smooth,
and familiar in a way that made her soul briefly leave her body.
Before she fully realized what it was, it flung itself in the conference table like it had been
waiting for a spotlight moment. It bounced off water bottles, folders, and whatever dignity she
had left.
It felt like time froze.
Think: less office supply, more adult content.
The silence that followed made her question her existence once again, you know that kind of
silence that even the air feels like it’s judging you?Yeah. That.
That was the beginning of the end.
Even cute Kyle from finance was silent. And Kyle once spilled an entire cappuccino on a
junior analyst and blamed the analyst for “being in the way”
.
Hilda, the boss’s secretary, and one of the most annoying people to ever walk this planet
was just focused on writing in her notebook like she was drafting her termination letter in real
time.
Her boss froze mid-talk with his mouth half opened, he had a straight face, almost like he
didn’t even know what to think, He stared at it like it was some sort of foreign object from
another galaxy, he watched it vibrate with so much enthusiasm, like it was happy to be there.
She tried to snatch it back causally, like maybe they’d think it was a high end stress-toy, or I
don’t know, a futuristic stapler? But no one blinked.
She shoved it into my blazer pocket like my life depended on it, because it actually did.
And because life hates her, the damn thing had lights, because why not?
The lights lit up like there was a party under her left boob.
Her boss, Mr Moses, titled his head at her desperate attempt to make it seem like nothing
happened “Is there something you’d ike to share with the group Miss Naomi?” He asked
focusing all his attention on her like it was a birthday party and she was the celebrant, except
it felt like the complete opposite, she felt like the candle melting on the birthday cake.
“No sir” she echoed as she tried to switch it off in her pocket. She barely concentrated
through the rest of the meeting, her boss, Mr Moses continued his motivation and the usual
cooperate lullaby, but she couldn’t hear a thing, except the sound of her career flatlining of
course.
As she stood up to leave the conference room, her eyes met his, Kyle, the new guy, looking
all sharp and sweet.
He’d been silent the whole time, just watching. Not judging, Calculating. As he started
walking towards her, she gave him her best “please let this be the end” smile.
He scanned her and made it super obvious that he was undressing her with his eyes. He
came leaning a little too close.
“You might want to double-check your bag before next week’s board meeting”
.
She thought he was flirting, but it was even worse, he was amused, like he’d just opened a
mystery novel and found a twist on the very first page.
Then he winked and walked away. There was something oddly attractive in the way he
winked like they shared some secret.
If there was something worse than wanting the ground to swallow you, that’s what Naomi
felt. She walked straight into her office trying her best to keep a straight face, but deep down
she was plotting my escape to another continent.
And just when she thought this day couldn’t get any worse, her phone rang.
- Writer
