The wolf in the forest

More questions!

There's a knock on the door and it opens, its Lilly take me down stairs for dinner. We start moving and Lilly offers me her arm to lean on and I think as as caring gesture. I take it. We go into the hall and as move move, I'm thinking its the same way we came up, I can recognize some of the paintings. Some are portrays of people and some are of animals, wolves to be exact. Strange, but maybe they just like those animals. They could look a lot like the ones outside, the statues I saw. Some of the paintings of portrays have windows in the background, with the moon. When I think about it, it all seems a little strange for decorations. As we come down the bottom of the stairs I start to see that there's statues of wolves here too. They must really be in to wolves, I think and and just observe as we pass through the hall. A bright light is coming from a big doorway and as we enter I see its the dinning room. Its huge with a table to at lest 20 people or more and a chandelier above the table. At one end of the table, there's a fireplace built with bricks, they look as the ones on the outside of the house. Above the fireplace is a painting, some kind of family portray, I imagine. There seem to be many members of this family. The windows inhere is really big with beige colored curtains, they stand out a lot, with the walls covered in dark wood. Its just as beautiful, as the rest I've seen of this house so far.

In the dinning room, Lilly takes me to her son and says, “This is my son, who you meet earlier by the car, his name is Damon”. He gives he his hand and says hello, very polite. Lilly continues to the next person before I ever can speak a word. “This is my other and younger son, Michael and this is my daughter Leah” I shake hands with both and again I get this weird feeling of being familiar to them. “You are not married?” I blurt out before thinking. Lilly turns to look at me, smiles and tell me “ I'm a widow for about ten years now”. I don't know what to say but “I'm sorry for your loss”. She shakes her head and answer “Don't be, that's just how life can be, I guess, some leave before others”. She doesn't look sad at all, she must be a really strong woman. I admire her strength.

We all step closer to the table and Lilly sit in the big chair, with a son on both sides. Damon holds out a chair to me, next to him. I take a sit and sits down himself. The dinner goes by pretty quietly, we don’t speak many words, but it doesn't feel awkward, its just relaxing. I have so many questions in my head, that I don’t feel like I would be any good at small talk. I feel kind of nervous about the conversation I know I’m going to have with Lilly after the dinner. Maybe she has answers to some of the questions I could never get from my father about our past, my mom and most of all my dads anger. She said that she knows him. I hope I can trust her and her family. I don't think I’m in a position to be suspicious, but I can't help it. My hole life things have been kept from me, by my father. And I know my oldest big brother William knows something, but he can't tell. I don't blaime him. Our father is vicious and mean. His punishments are always cruel. He says its because it will make us stronger. But I don’t believe that. I think he enjoys hurting others. He has beaten us since I can remember and not once have I seen anything in him resembling regret or sorrow, for our pain. In fact he always has this kind of devilish smile. I feel so much anger towards that man, but at the same time I fear him with all my bones in my body. Just his voice alone can my me shake all over and almost go in panic mode. I'm hoping I never have to go back there again. 22 years and he still controls my every move. I don't understand him.

As we finish eating dessert, Lilly ask me to come to the living room with her and then she ask her children if they can give us an hour and then come and join the conversation. I guess they too,know something or is getting questions answered. Or maybe there's just more to all this then I know. But as we walk out I can feel a stare on me and I turn to look. Damon looks at me really intensely. It make me feel a little weird again. I can seem to read what that look is about. Maybe he feels the same kind of pull to me, as I do to him, I wonder. We exit the dinning room and I loose sight of him. We walk further down the hall, to another huge doorway.

The living room is the same design as the dinning room and with the same colors. There's a fireplace here, but the picture above this one, is again with wolves. Fighting on what I believe is as field, in the night with the moon in the background. They sure have some strange and mysterious decorations.

We sit in the couch by the fireplace. Lilly poor some tea up to us and makes sure we can reach the cookies, before she sits down again. Letting out a big breathe, as if she is getting comfortable. The conversation is about to start.

Lilly looks at me and I can see, she is just as nervous about this talk as I am. That makes me feel a little better. I’m not the only one.

She starts “ I'm not sure how much you know, which makes me question where to start. But I guess we can start by asking, if you have any idea who I am?”

Now I get more confused, “How would I know you?” I ask.

“Well, I am a friend of your mom and her family, our families go back many generations. We have always been close. I was there when you were born and saw you almost every day until you were about four years old. Your dad ran away with you kids. We couldn't find you or your two brothers. I promised your family I would never stop looking for you. I'm so sorry I played along with acting like a stranger at first,I just didn't know how to start out and I didn't want to scare you. But I’m a little shocked to find you so close. Have you always been living around her?” she end by asking.

I'm a little shocked too, so I’m silent for about a minute. I thought my mom was dead and I didn’t have other family except from my father and my brothers. “My mom isn't dead?” I stutter out, very hurt. I had always had this longing for my mom and I cried so many times over never knowing her at all. I only have a photo of her, from when she and my dad got married, we weren’t even born yet.

“She is alive and just to prepare you, she will be here in two days. I couldn't keep it from Emma, your mom has always been one I could trust and I can't betray that, I hope you understand” Lilly says. I think she can see I starting to cry, as she out her hand on my back to comfort me. I nod to her, so so know I understand. I can’t believe my mom is still alive and I have more family. It all feels a little unreal. Do I really get to meet the woman I have always was dreaming about. I felt a happiness inside I couldn't even recognize.

“I am a little taken aback at this, but nothing would be better than to meet her. I never thought I would” I say, while the tears are running down my face.

“It is very understandable you feel like that and I think we can start be letting that sink in a little, we don't have to put to much on you all at once. We have all the time coming we need” I can feel it pains her I'm crying and for a little while we just sit on the couch, she's hugging me, while I try to calm down. It helps me feel a little more safe and a feeling of being cared for, I have never had. Maybe that’s what it feels like to have a mom and a real family, I think to myself.

When I feel calm and compose myself a little, I give Lilly a big hug and a kiss on her cheek “ Thank you for being some kind of guardian angel to me, I don’t even know how I will ever repay what you have done for me” I say, while looking at her and I can see she is touched deeply by my words.

“Oh Olivia, I have done this out of the love for you and your family, You never have to worry about being thankful, I'm just sorry we haven’t found you sooner. And I still have to find your brothers and your father”, Lilly tells me with a soft voice. She gets up and say she I few thing to take care of. “Should I tell my children, to give you a little time before walking in here?” She ask me. I nod, it could be nice to have a private moment, just to feel myself and compose my thoughts.

I'm not sure if I can say, I have less questions. More seems to keep coming. Why did my father run? Had something happen? Or was it a punishment like he gave his own children? How was it going to be to meet my mother? Did she have answers I could use? Everything keeps making more questions pop up in my head and I feel like its too much. So I try to focus on now. I'm not exactly sure how, but in moment I may not be alone anymore. Maybe the company could lead me to think of something else. But no, I have questions for them too. Not sure what was the start start of a conversation with them,but maybe the wolves thing is something they find strange like me. I mean they couldn’t possibly find that decorations glamorous.

I sit here for a while on my own and think of this wolf thing. At least it made me forget the questions and kept it from asking even more.

Suddenly I hear footsteps coming my way, in the doorway Leah is coming in. she is a beautiful girl, I suppose my age. Leah has blonde hair down to her shoulders, a light tan that makes her hair stand out a little and blue eyes, the same as the rest of the family I have met. I bet she could make girls really jealous.

“ Hi Olivia. I hurried to get in here and say hi to you, before anyone else. I've been looking forward to meeting you and I hope we get along really well. If I can do anything to make you feel more comfortable, please let me know” she says. Its a lot at once and I just have to let it sink in. I give her my hand, but she leans in to me and gives me a hug.

“You don’t need to be formal here. You are family to us, you always have been”.

She is so nice and I feel a little bad that I have to take time to gather my thoughts just to speak. “Thank you, that’s so nice of you. I'm sure we are going to have nice times together, you seem out going and nice. I'm sorry if I act a little closed, but all this is a lot at once. My brain cant keep up” I answer, as if my brain just took over my speaking ability. I hope I didn’t sound angry or something like it. I would really like to know that girl. I never had many friends before and not close ones. I would never fully trust anyone, as people often were scared of my father. God, I hope I never have to go back to him again.

The brothers now enter the living room and they look like they are having a great time. They sit down in the couch across from us. before I think anything else my mouth just blurt out “ Whats up with all the wolves around here? And paintings a night time with the moon. Is it a theme or something?” I feel myself smiling awkwardly. But when I look at the siblings the have the weirdest look and look like I just spilled their secret. Why doesn’t they say anything?!

Suddenly Leah makes a weird sound, I think its suppose to be a laugh. “Its just my mom and old folklore, she loves that stuff”. And that put it out of my mind. As my head is already filled with more personal questions. Lilly is now coming back to sit and chat with us for a little bit. Its just a little light small talk. I ask to excuse myself to go to my room and the accept. Damon stand up and ask if I remember or if he should follow up. I take his offer and we walk out, after saying good night.