Chapter Thirteen
Things were beginning to slip in work. Despite my best efforts I found it increasingly difficult to focus on the day to day tasks building in my inbox. I felt enthusiasm for my book wane along with any direction or through line I tried to generate. Somewhere along the way I had fallen in love with the idea of being a respected and revered celebrity academic, I just didn’t love the process enough to get to that point. My students had nothing new to say that I could co-opt and repurpose, and I didn’t have the ideas to do it myself. I wasn’t sleeping, my mind was sluggish from the nightmares. In the day, I was only able to think about what I was getting into with Jackie; either reliving what happened thus far or imagining what we might do in the future. And underneath all of
