Chapter Four
Holidays promise more than they deliver. The idea of sipping cocktails by the shore, the summer breeze, the gentle lapping of the waves by my feet soon gave way to the reality; lugging equipment across packed beaches in 35-degree heat. Sweating, cranky, hungover, tired. Barely an unclaimed patch of dry sand on which to set ourselves up. Obese, saggy breasted housewives and their leathery skinned husbands bring the chaos of their personal lives to the beach and argued with frantic hand gesticulations as snotty nosed siblings fight over ownership of warm lemonade and melting ice-creams. The climate is different, the arguments in different languages, but it appears beach holidays are the same everywhere.
While Jackie went for a swim, I lathered myself in factor 50 and pulled ou
