Shattered Innocence

The Temptation Within

Ivan's pov

The doors open, and a few soldiers nod at us. They don't like us, but they appreciate that we are here to help. They almost blend in with the walls in their black fatigues, and Nora pays them no mind as we lead her deeper into the labyrinth. The first room is a quarantine, questioning, and security room. After passing more doors and taking another elevator, we stop at the command room, which fills the whole second floor. Zack nods at me, silently telling me what to do, then he looks at Nora, needing to speak to her since she hasn't been with us long.

"Ivan will escort you. You will be given a chip to get in and out of the area and any rooms. Everything is open to us, but without it, you will be locked out. I'm going to debrief while you do that. When you are done, they will escort you back here to meet the people behind everything." Without waiting for her to respond, he merges into the hustle and bustle of the command floor. There are about twenty computers all facing the wall of screens in the back, showing video feeds of active missions and other stuff. More soldiers are positioned at each, along with scientists. The generals are gathered in a glass conference room overlooking the entire floor, and that's where Zack heads with Nikolay following behind, ready to protect him. Mikhail and Yuri come with me, but they will undoubtedly split off to go train. Yuri is always on the move. When he's not fighting or training, he is cleaning and assembling his weapons. I analyzed his mental state when he was first brought in.

I was more suitable than any of their medical staff to assess him after living as he did. Unlike myself, who compartmentalizes everything that happened and looks at it logically, Yuri lets his anger control him, very much like Nikolay. Where Nikolay is scarred from his past, however, Yuri is fueled by it. It means he's always moving, fighting, flirting, or f*****g. He needs to move or he will think on it. I have tried to offer them all advice and counsel at some point. Sometimes they speak to me—mainly Zack and Mikhail, though it is only when they have no choice—but we all prefer to fight our own demons.

We were beaten, tortured, and made to believe that any weakness meant pain, and that's a hard cycle to break. We return to the elevator, and Mikhail and Yuri get off on the accommodation and training levels. Yuri winks at Nora, who stands by my side.

"See you soon, Nora. We can play then."

"I will shoot you," she threatens.

"Oh f**k, please do," he begs with his hand over his heart as the door closes.

"Please ignore him," I tell her with a friendly smile, trying to put her at ease.

"Trying," she mutters. "Plus, I'm used to much worse." I tilt my head in consideration, using her words to ease into a conversation as the elevator lowers. "Is that so?" She sees my obvious approach to get her to talk and sighs.

"Let me guess—shrink?" "Doctor." I shrug. "Habit, sorry."

She shivers at the word doctor, and I frown.

"I'm not like him," I state, but there's a coldness between us as if she has a basic distrust of the profession. I don't blame her, especially when all she has ever known from them is pain. I will earn her trust. This makes it hard to complete my next tasks though. I need to check her out and implant the chip in the lab, where all my supplies are. If I give her any pain in the lab, it might only encourage her fear of doctors, as well as reinforce her anger and distrust of me and the other guys. Knowing I have no other choice, I lead her out once the elevator stops. This corridor is lined with rooms, and our footsteps are loud on the metal as we turn a corner, the cameras watching her.

"This place gives me the creeps," she mutters.

"Feels too much like my dad—Dr. Thompson's f*****g torture labyrinth."

"The others feel that way too," I share, giving her a bit of their weakness to gain her trust. "But not you?" "I guess I got so used to a clinical setting and living underground that it almost feels like home to me. Up there"—I point above ground—"is where I feel out of control and cornered." I see her pondering my words, and I'm glad I could tell her that as we arrive at my lab door. The window to the left shows the interior, and her footsteps falter.

"What is this?" she demands, and I turn to see she has her gun out again. A siren goes off, but I hold my hand up to the cameras, indicating that I have this. The siren stops, but I know they are watching us, and it served as a reminder that she is surrounded and alone with us. I see fear and anger in her eyes, and I know she's thinking of trying to escape.

"You can leave at any time," I assure her softly, imploring her to trust us.

"You are not trapped, not like before. This is for our safety so they can't find us."

"The lab," she snaps.

"It's where I work, where the chips are," I explain quickly.

"Without it, you will be unable to walk around freely, and I don't think you would like that." She stares me down, and I wait. It's her choice. I won't make it for her. She's been through enough, we all have, so her distrust isn't misplaced. It's built from years of pain and abuse, just like every single one of us. We might be what others consider superhuman—I hate that word, knowing it's a mix of nature, nurture, and genealogy—but we are still human.

We still carry grudges, feel pain, and experience fear, but unlike others, our fear makes us dangerous and deadly. Nora is no exception. She is a weapon, and right now, that weapon feels cornered. I step back to give her more room, and the door opens. She stills and looks behind me. I know what she sees. I've tried to make it as calm and homey as possible by painting some of the walls, hanging posters and paintings, and dotting the space with sofas, chairs, and plants. Yes, there are computers and equipment, but it's more like a fancy office than a cold, sterile lab.

I see her noting the difference, but it wars with her terror of the places she was hurt in.

"No," she snaps, stepping back, refusing to enter the lab. I reach my hand towards her.

"We all have to face our fears eventually, Nora," I murmur.

"I used to hate labs too."

"Then why?" she croaks, true terror in her eyes mixing with the ghosts of her memories—the same ones we all carry.

"Because I refuse to hide from them." She flinches.

"This is just a space. It can't hurt us. He did, not the equipment. This equipment saves lives. Think of it like a gun," I reason softly. "The gun isn't inherently evil. It's the user that chooses the path it takes." Stepping back, I wait.

Stepping back, I wait. "Come in, and I will tell you more." When she doesn't move, I leave her to think it over. I walk through the room, humming, trusting her not to shoot. I'm showing her I'm not afraid. I light some candles and prepare the chip as well as some needles and vials, since we need to do a blood test to ensure she is healthy and that he did nothing to her. One of the other children was purposely infected with a disease to see if it would change the way her body adapted to training. I almost shiver in horror at the thought.

He was a monster, a true monster. Doctors are meant to heal and protect, not hurt. It goes against everything I believe in. I hear a noise but don't turn, focusing on my task as I hum until there's a deep sigh.

"I don't know how you could become a doctor."

"It was easy," I reply as I turn and gesture to the seat near me, but she remains standing, so I shrug. If that's what makes her feel more in control, then okay. "I'm good at science. It made sense to me when human nature did not," I explain. "I like to help people and figure out problems. I hated labs for what he did in them, but I can understand the beauty and science behind it. It doesn't mean I agree with what he did, but I can understand the sophistication and work it took." I hurry on when her eyes narrow.

"The things he did with research, however, were monstrous, and I'm sorry that ever happened to you," I offer softly. She nods but doesn't look away, and I pick up the chip gun. "This will hurt, but only for a moment. It's an RFID chip that will be implanted into your hand; that is all. It's simply a key." She nods and relaxes a little as I talk her through each step. When I get to the blood work, she snarls but stoically stands as I take the vials.

I stroke her hand and squeeze it, talking about everything and anything until it's over. She's very much like Nikolay, who struggles with touch and medical equipment. It will make my job harder, but I find I like to comfort her, especially when her eyes soften a tad when she looks at me as if I am protecting her. Unlike the others, where it's my duty and what I'm good at, this feels different. If I were Yuri, my chest would puff out, but instead, I have a dopey smile on my face.

The others hate my chatter, but she doesn't seem to mind, so I don't stop. "Other children?" she finally asks, interrupting my story of a time when Yuri shot up my lab.

"Hmm?" I ask as I analyze her blood. "The other children. You said . . . Where are they? Are there any here?" I round my shoulders and turn, playing with my coat. We had mentioned some had died, maybe it's hope that she's asking if any survived.

"No." Pursing my lips, I think of the best way to explain it.

"Zack is better at answering your questions—"

"Please, Ivan, I need to know," she implores, her eyes widening. Whether it's her round, trusting eyes or the hand she places on my arm, I find myself answering. I am unable to say no to her. A dangerous thing, I know, but she has her father's magnetism, if not his streak for cruelty.

"They are dead." She flinches but nods, probably already guessing that.

"According to his notes, some were . . . terminated. They failed some of the experiments, so he, um . . . Those that survived were pushed further. He would infect some with diseases or genetic impurities, as he liked to call them. Cancer, MS, or congestive heart failure were introduced into their bodies to see what effects could be created. Some died when they could have been saved. One I read about, a girl, killed herself at only thirteen."

"f**k!" she cries, smashing her fist into the table. I surge to my feet and rub her back. "I know, it's horrendous, but that's why we must do this. We need to stop anyone else from being hurt like us."

"Why me? Why us?" She tilts her head, and I see tears in her eyes.

"When I thought it was just me, I could survive. I asked why all the time, but I survived . . . and the others . . . I didn't know. I left and ran like a coward while they suffered because I thought I was the only one. f*****g foolish. I could have helped them!" she yells, but then her voice breaks as she tries to hold back her tears. Her pain calls to the caring part of me, the doctor part, though I know it's a lie—it's deeper than that. Her pain feels like a knife in my heart. I wrap my arms around her. She's stiff at first, but then she relaxes, turning to bury her head in my chest as I stroke her back and hair.

"There is nothing you could have done, nothing any of us could have done," I murmur. "You were a child yourself, and you did the best you could to survive the unimaginable. We all did. We have a chance now to make it right, so do not let guilt change you, Nora. It was Dr. Thompson who did this, not us. We are innocent, but we have a chance to avenge them and save others. Do not let the past fill you with hatred until you blindly fall into the madness like he did. Let it guide you instead. Learn from it, and let's do better."

She nods and pulls back slightly. Her eyes are rimmed red, and tears stain her cheeks, yet she's utterly beautiful. Then it hits me. I was looking at her like another patient, as if I knew when I looked too hard, I would see it, but now I can't not. I can't look away from her as my hands tunnel into her hair and touch her as if I can't get enough. My gaze drops to her lips then up to her eyes. She's stunning. She's so strong, beautiful, and intelligent. It's a powerful combination that leaves me breathless, and for the first time in my life, I want to lean into another person instead of being the person they lean on. It makes me want to break all my carefully built rules and kiss her. I can tell she feels the same because her eyes widen and her breath picks up, causing her chest to rise and fall against my own.

Her hands clench the material of my coat, and a blush flushes her cheeks as we stare. We are both fighting the electricity between us, one that's so potent, I'm surprised we haven't set the room alight. Something grows between us the longer we stare, and then I start to tilt my head down, unable to resist her. Nora is one of us. I would never hurt her, not like other women, and it's that knowledge that has a slight groan leaving my lips as I finally give in. I lower my head, and she doesn't move away, making me believe she feels this too.

Whether it's the desire to feel loved since we spent our childhood alone or she simply wants me as a man, I can't tell, and I don't care. The spell is broken when we hear footsteps. She jerks back, wiping her mouth like I kissed her, and looks at the door. I turn, my lips dipping into a frown as disappointment fills me. What was I thinking? She won't trust me if I force myself on her like that. I don't know what came over me. It's clear Nora is deadlier than we expected, considering I almost gave in to the dark urges inside of me when I am usually perfectly in control and calm. The beauty standing next to me nervously buzzes with embarrassment as Mikhail steps into the room. As usual, he enters farther than the others who would simply wait outside, as if by doing so he is telling his past to go f**k itself.

He appreciates knowledge and computers as much as I do, though he hates how he obtained his interest for them. I quickly turn back to the computer as I breathe deeply and pretend to analyze my notes.

"Zack is ready. Are we good to go?" he calls. "Go?" I jerk my head up like I was consumed by work and not the woman next to me. I am no better than Dr. Davis at this moment, almost using her weakness to take what isn't mine. I close my eyes as hatred for myself builds.

"Yes, of course. I need to stay and look at these results."

"Okay . . ." He frowns, sounding confused.

"I'll escort Nora then."

"Yes, do that." I turn away quickly so he doesn't see the strong emotions in my eyes. I feel her looking back at me before she follows him out without a word. Unable to resist, I lift my head and watch her go.

With each step she takes, my heart slams, begging me to chase her and finish that kiss. What is happening to me? Was he right about the reason I was supposed to be terminated? Lowering my head, I press it against the screen to cool my overheated skin and try to ignore my body's urges. I will not become the creature he told me I would be, not even because of her. And I have to work with her. f**k.