I kept a safe distance but tailed her carefully. Never letting her out of my sight. She would often stop and look over her shoulder. Was she on to me? Could she hear me breathing? My heart racing? The street was quiet, deserted. The hunt? Exhilarating. She peered in my direction again. I ducked behind a car. When I emerged, she was stood before me, her arms folded. If I'm honest, I'm surprised I got this far.
This started four hours ago. Before I knew it, induction day had arrived. I was anxious. I had barely attended compulsory education. I had learned early the importance of income outweighed my idealistic fantasies, and the rest of my learning had been conducted on the job. I hadn't been in education for years. Hopefully, they would attribute my incompetence to memory loss.
I couldn't shake the anxiety that grew wider as we drove to campus. The atmosphere was heavy as Cain and I sat in the back seat, with only a driver for company. Something seemed to be weighing on his mind, and I was nervous at the thought of being alone with him. I wasn't sure what college would be like. Hopefully, there would be enough bodies present to keep us apart. There wasn't much I could do about his stare, though, which I could feel upon me almost all the time. Part of me enjoyed it. Having his full attention, even if that meant risking discovery.
The car pulled up outside a large campus, I got out quickly, but my ignorance of the layout meant I couldn't create distance. I took one step forward before turning to Cain. "I don't know where to go?" One look at him told me all I needed to know about his mood. He pressed forward without response and turned to face me after a few steps. "Well? Come on then." I fell in beside him but struggled to match his pace, his strides being considerably longer than my own. Finally, concern flashed on his face, and he slowed down enough to make me comfortable. His actions, for the most part, were possessive and controlling. Still, he would display amiable characteristics on occasion without drawing any attention to them himself. These small acts of kindness seemed to reveal his genuine affection, a sentiment which he otherwise struggled to communicate.
We walked in relative silence with the occasional comment or direction from Cain, who introduced me to my surroundings. He took me to student services and got me a campus map. I felt relaxed around him for once, letting myself forget my curious circumstances. Despite his affable behaviour, my companion's mood grew darker as my mood lifted. The deeper into campus we walked, the thicker the crowds became, and he began to scan his surroundings as if looking for something. "We still have some time. Should we grab a coffee?"
"Sure" I glance down at my map
"So we need to double back then."
"Sure", he replied flatly, continuing forward. Finally, I caught up with him and grabbed the side of his shirt, blushing slightly as I brushed against his warm, robust form beneath. "Cain, are you listening?" The contact shook him from his daze. "Sorry, what?"
"I said should we get coffee" I glance down at the map again "follow me", I beckon, reaching out to him. He flushes but takes my hand and follows me into a quiet corner.
"Okay, there are fewer people here. What's up?" He folded his arms stubbornly until I placed a hand on him, he shook me off. "You should be worrying about yourself. You don't know these people...I can't stay with you at all times...what if...." he trailed off and, grabbing my chin tilted my face towards his own, a bell rang in the distance. My face inches from his own allowed me to detect every movement. His jaw was clenched; whatever concerned him was severe.
As much as I wanted to question him, I was out of time. He released me and began to move away, muttering, "Shit...wait for me at the gate later." I watched him turn the corner, and suddenly I was alone. It started as a giggle in the depth of my stomach, but soon the laughter consumed me. Tears streamed down my face as I frantically gulped down air between laughs, between sobs? I had never been this emotional. Who was I becoming? I did not recognize this cauldron of emotion. Was there ever really Lena, or am I just crazy? My feet were already carrying me forward, carrying me home, and my fear at what I may find was driving me to madness. I had been planning to slip away. I just didn't think it would be so soon.
My journey through my old town was full of familiar faces. It was a small intimate community, but there was not one glimmer of recognition from the familiar faces. People kept their distance, wary of the stranger. I was a few streets away from home when I saw her, Ivy, my best friend. She was ahead of me and going in the same direction. Her purpose was clear. Was she looking for me? She was the only one save my employers who might notice my absence. She was the only one left who might care. I stalked behind her, making sure to keep a distance, but the Ivy I know is wary. That's how I ended up here staring down my old life.