Invasion of the Butt Snatchers
By Rob Rosen
The aliens settled in Africa and Europe—what with their love of giraffes and Alpine skiing, and all—and forced the previous inhabitants to move out. In return, they offered us a cure for cancer and put a stop to global warming. It seemed like a fair trade, all things considered, until the newly evicted neighbors, ergo a third of the planet, started arriving in droves.
Though, to be fair, none of us really had that much say in the matter. One minute it was Halloween, and we were setting out our jack—o’—lanterns and stocking up on toilet paper for our various trickeries; the next, the sky was filled with flying saucers. Seems that 1950s Hollywood got that part right. The aliens sent us a rather polite audio explanation, too. They saw our TV ads,
