Connected Blood

4 - Hidden Burdens

Ugh, I can’t sleep properly again. That Kyan—if he dares show his face to me, I swear he’s getting a punch to the jaw. It’s 2 a.m., and I’m still wide awake. Frustrated, I stared at the ceiling, replaying the events from earlier.

The man in that picture… creepy as hell! Is he really alive? Or was Kyan just messing with me? He did seem dead serious when he told me about it. It’s unsettling, to say the least.

But seriously, a 200-year-old man who’s still alive? That’s absurd. If he’s even real, he should be nothing but bones by now. Yet, Kyan’s expression kept flashing in my mind—his tone was too convincing. And if it’s true… how did he survive? Magic? Did he bump his head and suddenly wake up after centuries? Ugh, I’m overthinking again. Enough of this nonsense. Netflix will be my savior tonight.

I turned on the TV and began browsing the latest series uploaded. They say there’s a lot of great K-dramas out now, like When the Phone Rings. Curious, I clicked on it and started watching episode one.

A few minutes in, I found myself crying uncontrollably. What is wrong with me? Am I really that emotional? Maybe it’s because I can relate to the female lead’s situation. Her pain feels so familiar. The heartbreak of loving someone who doesn’t love you back—it stings, even when you’re just watching it on screen. Love can be so cruel. You give everything, yet when the other person isn’t as invested, they’ll leave without a second thought. It’s a pain that lingers, one I know all too well.

As tears fell, memories of my past relationships resurfaced, from my first ex to Win. No matter what I did, I always ended up heartbroken. It’s a vicious cycle, and even the smallest triggers bring back the pain. Why does everything remind me of them? Love is such a bittersweet thing. It excites you, lifts you up, but when it crashes, it leaves you shattered. I’m terrified of it now. I don’t want to love again, not when I know it’ll just end in more heartbreak.

Win... His name alone stirred something inside me. He was my on-screen love team and, for a brief time, my real-life partner. We acted in series together and grew closer on set. Yet, I always felt a wall between us. He never initiated dates or even small gifts. Even physical affection was scarce, almost like he was strictly professional about everything.

But I fell for him anyway. How could I not? His acting was captivating, and he was such a gentleman. He’d give me a blanket when I felt cold, hand me water during long shoots, and check on me when I looked tired. I know, it’s the bare minimum, but those little gestures felt like everything to me. It was enough to make me love him.

Now, though, I know better. I need to raise my standards. I need to protect myself because I’m far too fragile when it comes to matters of the heart. People think I’m all bubbly and carefree, but they don’t see the cracks underneath. It’s my way of masking the pain and keeping my heart hidden. Especially now, as I prepare for a comeback as a lead actress, I need to be strong. The industry won’t wait for me to nurse my wounds, and to make it worse, I’ll be acting alongside Win again. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

I let out a heavy sigh, frustrated at myself for falling so easily. Why do I keep giving my heart away to people who don’t deserve it? A kind word, a small gesture, and I’m hooked. It’s pathetic. I’m so blind to red flags, and I let myself be fooled time and again. I always try to see the good in people, but maybe that’s my downfall. It’s time for a change.

I turned off the TV, unable to focus on the show anymore. My thoughts were too loud, my emotions too overwhelming. Reliving those memories was exhausting. I laid down on the couch, pulling a blanket over myself, and let the tears flow until I drifted off to sleep.

---

I woke up the next morning, the clock reading 10 a.m. It was Sunday, so I wasn’t too worried about sleeping in. Still, my puffy eyes were a reminder of last night’s emotional breakdown. I sat up on the couch, groggy and disoriented, when I noticed a glass of water on the table in front of me. I don’t remember getting up to pour myself water. I hadn’t even been thirsty last night. Strange.

Maybe Max had come by earlier. Grabbing my phone, I called him to ask. “Max, did you stop by my place this morning?”

“What? No! It’s Sunday, and I’m with my family on a trip. Why would I go there? Anyway, enjoy your day off. You’re back to work tomorrow. Bye.” He hung up before I could say anything else.

I stared at the glass for a moment. Did I leave it there myself and just forget? Shrugging it off, I picked it up and placed it in the kitchen before heading to the bathroom to shower.

As I stepped out of the shower, my phone rang. It was Mom. I answered, drying my hair with a towel. “Hello?”

“Selene, you forgot to pay for the lot we’re financing. Don’t you remember? It’s for the resort and hotel you wanted to build.”

I paused, towel in hand. “What lot?” I asked, confused.

“The one we bought for your dream resort! Your dad and I took care of it, but you need to handle the payments now. It’s your project, after all,” Mom replied enthusiastically.

I frowned, annoyance bubbling up. “Mom, why didn’t you ask me first? I just got out of the hospital, and my expenses have already drained my savings. I can’t afford another financial burden right now.”

“It’s an investment,” she said, brushing off my concerns. “Once the resort is built, you’ll earn a lot from it. Just pay the balance so we can start construction by August.” Before I could argue, she hung up.

I let out a frustrated groan. Why does it feel like everything is against me? Sure, I’m a successful actress, earning more than most people, but even with all that, I feel unappreciated and used. Everyone seems to take from me without a second thought, leaving me emotionally and financially drained.

I slumped onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. It’s moments like this that make me question everything. I have fame, I have money, but what’s the point when all it brings is loneliness and painting?