**Depression**
575 Words
**Depression**
**Depression doesn't mean the end of feelings or emotions, it just makes you see the glass half empty.**
**"Dear Reader, I apologize I did not put these thoughts in order. Just to let you imagine what is going through my mind."**
When I was young, I always dreamed of growing up and reaching this age. I always wondered how adults live. Now, I am in the first stages of adulthood as I wished, but now I wish I had never reached this age. If I met the child I was when I was young, I do not know what I would tell him or how I would disappoint him and shatter his dreams that were woven by his childhood imagination. I regret that his fantasies about adults and the life of adults were nothing but an "illusion" to create hope. It saddens me to say that we did not reach what we wished for, and we are no longer as we were.
**Day 1: The reason for my loneliness?**
I'm turning 17, and I start getting to know something new called depression... and I wish I never met it. No one can reach out to get me out. It's slowly devouring me, destroying everything inside me. For some reason, it makes me feel like a ghost, empty inside.Songs make me feel doubly sad. The sky makes me feel so weak.
Why couldn't anyone feel my loneliness, feel my sadness? I've always been with them in their times of sadness, but the difference is that they express these sadness.
**"Depression hovers around silent people. Have you discovered the reason for my loneliness?"**
**Day 2: It seems that my heart is in its last meters.**
This headache, all the Panadol and painkillers failed to expel it. This monster that howls like a wolf in my head, only a bullet will silence it.
During the day, everything about my features suggests that I am normal, natural, and tough enough, and I barely melt at night with tears so that I can face another day with a fake smile. At the end of my day, I return to my bed alone, harsh on myself, filled with contempt. Great sadness, small souls cannot contain it.
**Day 3: Who will listen to the silent scream inside me?**
I'm exhausted. Why won't this go away? I keep hearing annoying noises all the time. I just keep thinking endlessly. Inside me, someone won't stop screaming. Everyone hates me; well, that's pretty obvious. I'm tired of people treating me like I'm a monster or something. The voices inside my head are louder than my real voice. Please listen to the voice inside me, it's suffocating me badly.
**Day 4: I breathe failure.**
I'm tired of all this pain and suffering, all this regret, heartbreak, psychological and nervous pressure, and that constant desire to cry, that foolish tremor, that cold shiver that runs through my limbs and hides beneath it enough to ignite this entire universe at once.
As if my sadness isn't enough for me, I search through all the accounts and follow all the tweets, and I see the sad ones, and I charge my heart and feed it with another sadness, and I cry again, renewing the sadness with every tweet. I hate everything that spoiled me and made me this sensitive person.
I am a failure in everything in my life. The only thing I have succeeded in is misery.
- Writer
