I am pretty but divorced

Chapter 3 -I choose this life

Looking out our school window, I saw my classmates comforting Caroline. They were all gathered at her loss. Nobody knew I was on the list since I didn't tell anyone I had participated in the exam. My homeroom teacher was so busy choosing what career we should have to pursue in college. They suggested that the three of us should pursue law. Why? Because they all thought being a lawyer was an honorable career and people also looked up to you. You can be a government official someday and make laws for the people. But I was not anticipating joining that conversation. My family has nothing. I bet my mother and father couldn't afford the tuition and expenses at that school. Lucky for the two boys, their family is generous enough. They have money and they also have business. I bet they can survive there.

One of my homeroom teachers advised me to take a scholarship grant. I was not thinking about taking that scholarship. It is hard enough for me to ask for food and allowance every day. If only I had been born into a wealthy family like my boyfriend, there was a chance I might study at that college.

Back to my reality, when I got home. I looked at my daughter and son. They were both resting. I looked in our kitchen and I found out there was no food. I looked at our bedroom and my husband was also resting. I tried to control my anger. But when I saw him snoring so loudly, I got so worked up. I hit him in his back. And he woke up. In dismay, he saw me standing beside him.

"Why are you sleeping at this hour? Why is there no food for our kids? I saw all those dishes in the sink. Why did you leave it?" I was so angry when I saw him. After all these years of taking care of and serving my family, this is what I am receiving from him! The amount of disrespect he had given is out of this world. After we got married, my life went to trash! I could have been in college doing my studies or thesis. But here I am working for this family to work. I have been a dirty old maid. I smell like cooking oil and old milk.

After I married him, I never got any roses or anything special from my husband. It felt like I was just robbed of my youth. He never appreciated me as a wife. I have given up my dream, I have given him children and I have wasted my precious time on him. And this is what I would get from him. He looked like he was seeing a ghost from me. He quickly got up and hugged me. "I am so sorry my dear wife, I was tired when I got home and I forgot my kids. I thought you were doing the laundry, so I just slept. I thought you would be cooking our dinner."

This piece of s**t, I cook, I clean, and I take care of it. And this is what I will get from him.

I pinched him so hard and he got away from him swearing. "Don't pinch me too hard honey, OK, I will clean the dishes" he quickly gets out of the room. He headed to the kitchen and cleaned all the dishes. I instructed him to "Honey, please cook some rice". He nodded and cleaned the pot. I got in the shower and cleaned myself. I reek the whole day. When I finished showering, I helped him cook dinner. I also woke up the kids to let them eat their dinner. We had a silent dinner at the table. I'm glad that the children ate so well tonight. Tomorrow will be a new day again. I had to get up early so they could eat their breakfast and prepare my husband's lunch.

When I finished cleaning in the kitchen and headed to our master's bedroom, I found my husband sleeping and snoring. He was in deep sleep, and he never even dared to talk to me. I felt too tired and wanted to sleep too. I saw his cell phone beeping. I took it so I could read all the messages. I found out he had changed his password. I tried to open it again with a different password. It was the birthday of our first baby.

When I opened it, I saw 10 different messages with names like girlparty, babe in resto, hot girl and so many more. The f**k is he cheating? Does he dare to cheat on me? I was pregnant with his child! 3 years into this marriage he cheated on me! I thought I had married a good man. Turns out he was all trash! I knew nothing at all, I was deluded because he had a wealthy family and I had nothing! Right now I am about to kill him in his sleep. I am so infuriated to know that he comes home every day but dares to cheat on me. I am never going to be enough for him.

I should have chosen to be single.

I started to cry and I left the room. I looked at my younger son's bedroom. He is sleeping soundly. He is about to be 2 years old now. He still needs a mother to look for him. Also, my first child is already 3 years old. I cried to myself that night. I lay right beside my children. I am so heartbroken, tired, and exhausted. I could not even think right. Is this my downfall now? Do I deserve to be cheated like this? If only I had not been seduced by him, I could have been happier now. This is my demise for choosing a dumb husband like him.

He was so good to me when we were young. I thought all his actions were sincere. But I guess all those sincerities have gone. They say sometimes once a man marries he loses all his youth. He will be a new man. But I guess my man has become a new man. The man that I knew all those years has been long gone. I was pretty when I was young. When I married, I lost my youth. I have become a new woman. A woman who has given up her dreams. I have become a housewife. No job, no career, and most of all, I have no income. I only rely on him. Tears are flowing in my eyes. All my agony, loneliness, and anger that has been kept. Everything flowed through my tears. Today I have lost.