Choosing Him

12

"So what about Amir, mama?" Areesha asked. It hurt her even to take his name. It bought back all the old memories of the times they had laughed together or how he had helped her cope with her father's death.

"What happened between you two? Tell me honestly." They were currently sitting in her mother's bedroom.

"Mama I didn't lie to you that day. He said he loves another girl and not me."

"And it took him so much time to realize that?"

"I don't know." She mumbled not meeting her mother's eye. That question had been roaming around her mind too. Why now? After so much time with her, he still didn't harbor the any feelings for her? That was more depressing than anything. Was she really that worthless?

"Are you sure you didn't do anything?"

She was debating whether to tell her mother about her boss Fawad or not. If she did then her mother might get the wrong impression and if she didn't then she might hear an exaggerated version from Amir or someone else.

So she decided to tell her everything. She particularly emphasized on the fact that there was nothing between her and Fawad.

"Beta, you know what a broken engagement means right? The society just thinks that the girl is at fault and she doesn't know how to make relationships successful. And no one is willing to marry that girl."

"Mama I can't do anything about the society now can I? It's not my fault that he didn't have a grain of trust in him." She said trying to keep the anger and irritation away from her tone.

"You cannot marry anyone but him." Her mother said in a tone of finality.

"And what do you mean by that?" Areesha's head snapped towards her mother in surprise.

"I said it in very simple words didn't I?"

"Mama, you are just being conservative." She said trying not to roll her eyes.

"Its not about me beta, I don't mind who you marry. He just has to be a practicing, God-fearing muslim who can support you. There are lots of things you don't know and I don't want to elaborate. Just patch up with him. OK?"

"I don't know what to say. The most important thing in a relationship is trust and respect. He doesn't have that for me. I love him sure but that's not enough. Its just one sided. I have accepted that he has nothing to give me and I am trying to move on but you are just making it more painful. Even I can see that we won't be happy together then why can't you?"

Her mother had a defeated look on her face. How could she tell her one and only daughter everything when she knew it would hurt her more. At times like this she missed her husband more. He would have known how to handle his stubborn daughters questions. She felt silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She wasn't sure what was the cause: the absence of her husband or the fact that her daughter's fate had been signed away?

The mother unfortunately didn't have that degree of trust in Allah that everything happened according to the divine will and decree. she didn't know that The strongest weapon that every Muslim has against adversity is Dua (supplication), it can even alter the destiny.

She felt so guilty about everything she had done and was worried about her daughter's future. But she didn't understand that feeling guilty about the past couldn't change it and all her worry couldn't change the future.

"Mama why are you crying?" Areesha asked rubbing the tears off her mothers face. She felt guilty. She didn't mean to make her mother cry.

"I-I miss your father so much." she said through sobs.

This was the first time she was opening up to her daughter like this.

Areesha forgot about the matter at hand and started consoling her mother keeping her own emotions bottled up as she tried to be strong for her mother.

It hurt her to witness her mother break down. It hurt beyond words. She wished she could do something for her.

A few tears dribbled down her cheeks as she remembered how their life jad been when her father was with them. Everything had been so different.

***

Areesha was sitting in her balcony gazing at the stars of the night sky and wondering was her father among them watching her from above and sending his blessings for her. She was enjoying the solitude. Did he miss her with the intensity she missed him? Her throat constricted as tears started to overcome her again.

She didn't notice the footsteps that came towards her as she was so engrossed in complaining to Allah that nothing in her life was going the way she wanted.

Only when someone tapped on her shoulder did she realize that someone else was present there. She looked up to find her brother standing.

"What's up?" Zayan asked her as he plopped down beside her cross-legged.

"Nothing. I'm just crying over my fate. Nothing in my life is the way I wanted it to be." She said wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Thats how it was between them. They could talk about eveything without feeling any awkwardness.

"You know that dua can change the fate and your crying won't. So why don't you go and make dua?" Zayan told her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"No. Allah doesn't accept my dua. It's of no use." She mumbled, looking away from him more tears rolled down her cheeks.

" You know as Muslims our belief rests in the fact that whatever is happening in our life is with the Will of Allah. We plan many things, but Allah plans too and he is the Best of Planners because after all he has knowledge of everything, right? Good and bad times are from Allah and Muslims should exhibit the best of their faith in both the cases. Perhaps He didn't give you something at that time because it would bring you more harm than good. Perhaps He wanted to test you and had you been patient with the test, He would have rewarded you with something better. Maybe he wanted to build the strength in you that only comes after you have been through it. Don't make half-hearted duas. Make your duas with full confidence and iman that Allah will grant them."

"I-I never thought that way. How do you know all of this?" she asked impressed at his logical explanation

"When Leya died, I went to an imam there. He helped me through it and motivated me. Otherwise I was very lost, but Allah guided me through that imam." He reminisced as a nostalgic look covered his features.

"Mama said that I need to patch up with Amir and I can't marry anyone else but him." She revealed to him in a small voice.

"What? Why would she say that?" Zayan asked in shock. That guy had insulted her so why the hell would their mother say that?

"I don't know I tried to ask her but she got upset about baba so I didn't pursue the matter." She said feeling better noe that she had confided it in her brother.

"Don't worry about that. I'll talk to her, everything will be fine inshallah. Just trust Allah." He reassured her, as his mind ran wild with possiblities.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Aww is my dear sis thanking me?! I need to record this!" He gushed, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Ok whatever. I'm making coffee for myself, want some?" 

"Yeah sure. Just don't add too much sugar like last time!"

"Last time I made you coffee was like years ago!" She said incredulously.

"But I still remember." He shrugged. 

"So how's your work going?"

"It's too demanding but it's nice to see people getting their rights and there's this one case that is no where near getting resolved. So just pray that something works out for it."

"What's it about?"

"A couple wants divorce and they've been married for like six years or something. It's a pity to see what the world has come to. Sometimes all this stuff scares me from getting committed with anyone. I wonder if me and Leya would have turned like this." He said with a sigh. This question had been scaring him so much.

"Tell me about Leya. You never talk about her. How did you meet her and all?"

"The first time I met her was at the University parking lot. She was going to park her car in anew empty slot but she was having problem reversing so instead of helping her out, I parked my own car there. When I got out of my own car she started yelling at me and threw her keys at me and telling me to park her car she left. After taking another round of the whole parking lot, I found some space and parked her car there. After that I had to look over the whole university for her to return her keys to her as I didn't even know her name back then, but I suddenly spotted her in the library. After that we just became acquaintances and then there was this one time she approached and started questioning me about Islam. I told her evrything I knew and she was very impreseed bby it so she cconverte and then we started hanging out." He told her the whole story with a smile on his face.

"I don't know how you can never so strong after all you have been through." She said and engulfed her brother in a side hug. "You still love her don't you?"

"Always." He mumbled as he closed his eyes tightly trying not to break down in front of his sister.

"Don't you ever regret meeting her? Like if you had never met her you wouldn't have been so heart broken." 

"I know most people would think that way but I don't. She was literally the best thing that could happen to me. I don't regret making all the beautiful memories we made together. And even though I lost her, I kinda found my way back to Allah because of her." He said with a small smile playing on his lips.

"You're the best guy any girl could get and you're the best brother in the whole world." Areesha said, trying to make him feel better.

"I know." He said with a smirk.

"Guys and their arrogance. You know sometimes I want to prick a needle into your swollen head so that it can deflate a little."

"Weren't you going to make coffee?"

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot, thanks to you!" She said getting up.

After she left Zayan was in deep thoughts about Leya. He missed her so much, and after every prayer he made special dua for her. That was the best way of remembering anyone in his opinion.

********

If you are facing any trial in your life remember that if everyone else leaves, Allah is with you.

Free life without any difficulty is the Hereafter. Even the prophets of Allah were tested. 

The difficulties are good for the believers as they help them being purified from their sins Allah doesn't want us to take our difficulties in the Hereafter because the punishment thee will be severe 

People find a difficult time when they are about to die so that they die without sin.

So no difficulty is without benefit to us.

Every state of a momin are with benefit: if we are happy then we should say alhumdulilah and we should say astaghfirallah when we are unhappy

Remember: More difficulty; more rewarding 

Please vote and comment too!

Did u like the chapter or was it boring?