Choosing Him

17

When Areesha reached home that day, she messaged Maya that she had had to leave because of a family emergency. Maya had understood that it was important and she didn't complain further. Maya had probably not noticed that Fawad had disappeared at the same time.

On Sunday Areesha wrote a resignation letter and headed to office the next day.

She was going to give in the letter tomorrow and collect her things that she just left in office. She had worked there for a few months only.

She told Zayan the night before that she was going to resign.

"He won't bring that up in office, so don't quit." he had said to her.

"I won't be as comfortable with working with his anymore. " she told her brother.

"Weren't you enjoying that job so much? When I told you to leave you refused outright."

"Times change." she shrugged.

"Exactly Areesha. Times change. Time makes you move on. But you are still stuck in one place. With Aamir."

"It is not about him anymore. I just don't want to get married to anyone."

"Areesha marriage is completing half of your deen. Its mustahab."

"I know that. You got married too didn't you? I dont want to be atached to anyone again and give them power over my emotions. And your wife died and now you miss her so much. Ammi went through the same. I trusted Aamir, but he broke my trust. I don't want to hurt myself when I know that this is such big risk."

"Allah took away Leya from me and baba to test us. We will reunite with them in jannah. You shouldn't have trusted Aamir in the first place because you two were not married in the first place. So he wasn't even committed to you. And you need to trust Allah. He knows everything. You are not the one to run away Areesha. You stay there and face whatever comes to you."

"I know but I am scared. What if it doesn't work out and we get divorced or something?"

"Trust Allah. How about you make istakhara and then tell me what you think. I won't talk to mama unless you are ready."

"Ok that's a good idea. I'll do that in a few days."

"Why don't you do it tonight?" Because I can't pray dear brother!

"I said I will in a few days, but you can't stop me from resigning. There's no way I can feel comfortable with working with him now." She said in a tone of finality.

"Fine whatever you say." he said in defeat knowing his sisters stubborn nature so well, he knew she was going to do whatever she wanted.

***

The next morning, Areesha drove to office and went straight to Fawad's office.

"You are late. Don't make me fire you." he said jokingly. 

Her hair was tied in a high ponytail and her purse was dangling on her side. Even without trying she looked breath taking to Fawad and his heart literally stopped beating at her sight.

"You won't need to fire me anymore."

"Why? Have you decided yo be on time from now on?" He was so happy to see her as he had thought that she might not come today.

"No because I am going to resign."

"Come again? I thought you said you were going to resign." Fawad said thinking her had heard her wrong.

"That's exactly what I said."

"What? I said I'm sorry Areesha. I didn't say that intentionally, it just slipped. I am very sorry for that. I won't happen again. I said I won't bring up that topic again."

"Its not about that. I forgive you and actually I am sorry too for my rude behavior. I shouldn't have said all that stuff to you that day." She had realized that the taunting was inevitable and she should get used to it. Its just the way society was. She didn't blame him anymore as what he had said was right in away. She had left the matter in Allah's hands. She had decide to make the istekhara about it and hoped everything would be for the best.

"No you don't apologize. It was my fault but please don't resign. You made a contract for one year."

"I know. And if I don't follow that you don't give me my last months salary right? So don't give me my salary."

"Its not about that Areesha. Its going to be very hard to find a new secretary with this new project going on."

"How about I interview a few secretaries for you then?"

"You aren't going to change your mind are you?"

"Nope! By the way did you make istakhara?"

"About what?"

"Us." Fawad looked confused at first then a look of understanding passed his face. He just couldn't believe that she was giving him a chance.

"No but I will" he said his lips curling into a smile and for the first time Areesha thought that he looked even more handsome smiling.

"Did you?" He asked, ecstatic that she was considering him atleast.

"I will in a few days time."

"Ok thanks for considering. Want to have some coffee?"

"I would if I could, but I cant so I won't."

"Alright then. Up to you." He said smiling.

"So I gotta get going. Allah hafiz then!"

"Allah hafiz."

***

After a few days when Areesha could pray she decided to perform the istakhara prayer before sleeping.

She was hoping to get a clear indication form Allah. She prayed for herself that May Allah grant her a righteous spouse who could bring her closer to Allah. She repented to Allah for forgiveness. She was still on her prayer rug making dua when she leaned against her bed and sleep overcame her.

She was walking through a place like a desert. But when she looked around she wasn't alone. It was a guy with her, with her hand in his. She looked into his brown orbs which were filled with love. They were walking hand in hand until they reached a place filled with lush green grass. There were birds chirping overhead and the place looked so peaceful.

She tried to touch his face but it she couldn't reach his face. It was as if something was in between them. She couldn't make out who the guy was because there was some weird fog in the air that obscured his face. 

"Trust Allah." That guy said to her before he took her hand in his and they started walking again. 

Areesha woke with a start. She had been dreaming but it had felt so real, as if she had lived through that dream. The guy in the dream was Fawad, she thought as he had the same eyes as him. Her neck was sprained as she was sitting in a very awkward position leaning on her bed. She sat up straight and looked around trying to figure out how she fell asleep.

She realized she was still on the prayer rug and she had performed salatul istakhara. This had been a clear indication from Allah.

She ran out of her room and started rapping on her brothers door.

He came out looking very sleepy. 

"What?" he snapped at her and she realized it was quite late.

"I made istekhara," she told him excitedly.

"Really what is your answer then?" Now he seemed wide awake.

"I don't know . I couldn't see the guy's face as that place looked foggy. Bt I think it was Fawad because the guys eyes were brownish like his eyes are. so I am not realy sure."

"If you think that it was Fawad then it must be him."

"Really that's what you think? It's a yes from me then." She said excitedly

"Looks like someone is a little too excited about marriage!" He smirked at her

"What happened?" He asked when she suddenly frowned.

"I don't know. In the dream when I tried to touch his face I couldn't and I couldn't even see his face properly. It was as if something was stopping me from doing so."

"Really? I don't know what that means. But let's tell Fawad first." He said

"It is 1:00 AM. He's probably sleeping. We shouldn't disturb him."

"Aww you are so caring already. You didn't care about disturbing my sleep."

"Come on." They went inside the room and Zayan dialed Fawad's number on his phone and put it on speaker.

"Hello? Who is this at this time?" Fawads voice came from the other end.

"Salam Fawad!"

"Wasalam. That you Zayan? Is everything alright?" Came Fawad's panicked voice from the other end.

"Were you sleeping?"

"You called to ask me this? I wasn't sleeping. But now I am going to so bye."

"Wait grumpy. Areesha made istekhara!"

"What?!"

"You are going to damage my ear drums so I won't be able to come to your wedding!" Zayan said winking at Areesha.

"What did she say?"

"She said yes you dimwit!"

"What?! She did?"

"Don't sound so excited! She's right beside me. "

"Thanks Areesha! Love you!"

"I'm right here too." Zayan said smirking at Areesha's pink cheeks. 

"Alright then. Allah hafiz."

"And what is your answer?" Zayan asked him.

"A yes you duffer!" With that he hung up the phone and Areesha and Zayan high-fived.

"What's going on here kids? Why aren't you two asleep?" Came there mothers voice from the entrance.

"Mama, I made the istekhara and it was a yes!" Areesha went to hug her.

"For what?" She asked confused.

"Uh sorry mama I was going to tell you that Fawad proposed to her but I didn't get the right time to." Zayan said quickly.

"You can't marry anyone but Aamir. I told you that already, didn't I?" Her mother said with a deep frown that it looked like her eybrows formed one long severe line.

"What do you mean, mama?" Areesha asked her confused.

The next chapter is an important one so stay tuned. A big revelation is coming. Don't be so happy yet that's all I'm gonna say ;)

Istikhara is a very misunderstood concept. I am not a religious scholar myself so I am sure my interpretation of it might be a faulty one. I am researching on it and trying to find out what it really means as people have a lot of misconceptions surrounding it. So please do not take the representation in this chapter or any other book on w*****d for that matter as the ultimate truth about it. Please do your own research and analyses about what it trully is, how to perform it, when to perform it etc.