Choosing Him

6

"What do you want?" She asked anger shining in her eyes when she opened the door.

"Nothing. I just want to be with my family." He said in a small voice looking down.

"Family? You don't have a family anymore!" She screeched.

He eyed her red eyes and the slight trace of wetness around her lids and instantly knew that something was wrong. 

"Areesha, sweetheart what's wrong? " he asked her gently still standing outside the apartment. 

"Nothing is wrong. Why would anything be wrong? It's not like my father died, then my brother left me, then my mother stopped caring and then the only person I cared asked out left too. Why would anything be wrong?" She said sarcasm dripping her voice. She tried to shut the door on his face but he managed to force himself inside.

"What do you want now?" She asked him in a defeated voice as he shut the door behind them.

"I want to be with you people. I-"

"Remembered us, have you?" She said glared at him.

"Areesha please hear me out?" He seemed unaffected by whatever she said.

"You are not even my real brother!  You are not my blood. So why would you be there when I needed you the most?" She yelled at him with tears dribbling down her cheeks.

"Just shut up will you?" Zayan said angrily. This was the first time he had raised his voice at her. He may not be her brother by blood but her was still her milk brother. Her parents had adopted him as well when Areesha was born. So Areesha's mother had breastfed him. He was actually Areesha's maternal aunts son who had died giving him birth. But Areesha's family loved him like their own. This was the first time Areesha had said something like that to him and he was shocked. She must be hurting too much he thought.

"Oooh! Looks like I have hit a nerve haven't I?" She said with a humorless chuckle.

"I lost my wife during the same time our dad had died." He blurted out.

"What? Wife?" Zayan wasn't even married Areesha thought as his words registered in her mind. "You're not even married." She scoffed.

"My wife. I got married when I was in England. I'll tell you everything, I promise. Let's go inside." She was too shocked to say anything as he took her inside.

He had gone to England to complete study law as per his late mother's wish. Areesha's father had funded for his studies there and he couldn't be more thankful to him. Even though Areesha's mother didn't love him as much as she loved Areesha she still cared for him.

In England, he had found a classmate whom he had instantly liked. Her name was Leya. They had started being friends but then developed feelings for each other. Zayan wanted to keep it halal so he had the Nikah with her. He didn't tell his family because he knew they'd be very disappointed in him as Leya was a non-muslim. He was waiting for the right time but alas it never came.

 Two months into their marriage, Leya was diagnosed with cancer. Zayan was devastated to say the least. Together they were fighting her cancer but as if things weren't bad enough for him already, he got the news that his adoptive father had passed away. They tried to fight it but it was the last stage and his Leya left him forever.He was broken. It took all sorts of therapies for him to get over their untimely deaths. He took Islamic classes and found his way back to his Rabb.

 By the time Zayan had finished telling her everything, he had unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Areesha was speechless. She didn't know how to comfort her brother and tell him it was alright, because it wasn't. She wasn't even mad at him for not telling her anything. She thought she was hurting, but Zayan's pain was too much for her to handle.

"It was Allah's Will and I have accepted it," Zayan revealed with a small smile.

Areesha was surprised at that. She didn't know what to say. They were in her room sitting on her bed.

"Wait, I'll show you a picture of her." He took out his phone and showed his sister a picture of his wife.

"She-she's beautiful!" Areesha said as she stared at the smiling girl on the screen.

"Where's mom?" Zayan asked her

"I don't know. We don't have the same relationship as before. She doesn't care about me anymore." She revealed in a small voice, feeling too ashamed to admit it to him.

"Hey," he said holding her hand in his. "I'm sure that's not true. She loves you. As much as our father died, her husband died too."

"You know Aamir broke up with me." She told him, unable to keep it inside her anymore.

"What? That bastard left you? What happened?" 

"He found another girl by the looks of it." She said with a shrug, trying to seem unaffected.

"Well I never liked that ass. It Allah's Qadr. It's for the best, so don't worry. You will find someone better who will make you realize that excuse of a guy wasn't meant for you. Have trust in Allah, He has emptied your hand to give you someone better, someone who will bring you closer to Allah." He reassured her with a smile.

"I don't know. I can't live without him." She said a tear escaping her eye as she quickly removed it with her hands. 

"You will learn to. We can live without everything but we can't live without Allah. He is the most important one. He will mend your broken heart, you just need to take a step towards Him and He will take ten steps towards you. I'm a living proof; I went through a lot too but by the Grace of Allah I am still in one piece, aren't I?"

This was exactly what she needed to hear. His words calmed her agonizing heart and she realized that she had been missing Allah in her life. On top of everything she shouldn't have went on dates with him when deep down her conscience kep telling her that he was a non-mehram to her and it was haram. She slowly began realizing that their relationship wasn't meant to last because she had forgotten Allah along with it.

"Come here." Zayan said as he took his sister in his embrace. In a long time, she felt comfortable.  She felt that someone loved her. She basked in his protection, love and comfort.

"I needed you so much. Why didn't you come before?" She asked in a muffled voice as her brother hugged her.

"You don't need me. You need Allah. You have forgotten that there's someone who loves us the most. He loves us more that 70 mothers. How can He leave us? He doesn't need us or our worship; it's us who need Allah."

She felt guilty. She had resorted to blame Allah for everything, when she was to blame to herself.

"Areesha? You know Dad left us to be in a better place. We all are going to die one day. If you really loved Dad you shouldn't cry for him; instead you should be happy for him and pray to Allah to forgive his sins. "

"And don't forget that there is someone better than Aamir waiting for you. In Surah Baqarah, Allah says 'And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.' Allah has All the knowledge. We have limited knowledge. So we can't judge what is good for us better than Him."

"I know. You are right. I can't imagine how much I neglected my faith." She replied suddenly feeling guilty.

"We still have time for Zuhr. Come on let's pray together!"

"Uh Ok. " She said slowly. Would Allah accept her, after how much he had neglected her?

"You know Allah judges you on how good you strive to be, not how bad you have been in the past. Saying that you can't pray because you have committed too many sins is like saying you can't shower because you are too dirty." He said smiling at her a he made out the reason of her hesitation.

"You know before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) was born, his father had died. At least you had a father. You can cherish his memories forever. After a few years, the Prophet's (p.b.u.h) mother and then his grandfather died too. Then he even lost his uncle and wife in the same year. But he didn't despair, he didn't lose hope did he? Instead Allah awarded him with Salah. Don't you think that Allah gave us Salah as a gift? So doesn't that mean salah will help you? Allah after all has all the knowledge, so don't you think he gave us a solution to our problems in the name of the daily prayers?"

It was as if he had read her mind. That's what she liked about him. He always knew how to tackle her very well.

"Yeah you are so right. Let's go and pray!" She said with more enthusiasm this time.

***

"You wanna go out?" They had offered their prayers together and after a very long time Areesha felt in peace. You had to find peace that came with the doing a good deed. 

"Where?" She asked her brother.

"Any where!" He said it to make it look like 'any' was the place. Even when they were younger they'd go from home with no where in mind and decide on the way but still manage to have a blast.

"Yeah sure let's go to any then!" She said smiling.

 She left a note for her mother to see when she came home from wherever she was right now.

After locking their apartment, the siblings went to Areesha's car ans started driving, no particular place in mind. 

"How about the Amusement park?" Zayan asked from the driving seat.

"Really?"

"That's what I just said."

"Let's go then. We can never get too old for that place!"

Zayan turned the car around and they made their way to the Amusement park. They had a whale of a time just because they were together. From the Ferris wheel to the discovery rides to the twisters they went on almost every swing.

After along time she got some love from someone. She had judged her brother a bit too harshly, she thought.

***

After having some ice cream and snacks they headed home with bright smiles plastered on there faces. They joked with each other like old times, all miseries forgotten.

When they got to the apartment building, they parked the car and challenged each other as to who would get to their apartment first. There were two different staircases that led to their apartment. The one who lost would have to treat the other one with a whole three course dinner.

After running through six flights of stairs in a span of three minutes, Areesha was out of breath. As she climbed the last step, she found her brother standing there with a smirk on his face and she groaned.

"I won! Ha! In your face! Be prepared for the dinner!" He laughed at his sister. Surprisingly, he wasn't even out of breath like Areesha.

Then as if it suddenly dawned upon her, she narrowed his eyes at him.

"You cheater! You didn't take the stairs, did you? "

"Yeah and I flew here, right?" He scoffed, feigning innocence.

"I am not that stupid. I know you took the elevator, you liar." She snarled at him.

"You might not be that stupid, but you are still stupid! Yes i***t face, I didn't run six flights like a retarded person!" She smacked her brothers arm playfully and smacked her own for head for not using the little piece of brain she had in there.

"So the dinner is on you!" She told him

"I didn't specify that we had to take the stairs! You should use your brain a little!" He said smirking at her.

"But you are treating me for dinner,"she said pointing towards him

"Not me!" He replied shaking his head

"Me neither! " 

"Nor me!" He said smiling at his sister. She was coming out of her shell slowly and alhamdulillah for that he thought.

Laughing they entered they unlocked the apartment and went in together.

But seeing what was waiting for them, Areesha's smile fell and she gulped.

A very angry mother was sitting at the dining table faced them.

To be continued....

How do you think their mother is going to react? Will she forgive them or not?

Comment below and tell me what you think!

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